Every Student's Dream Come True

This past weekend I was incredibly ill on Friday night.  By 3 am on Saturday morning, I woke up the Asst. Zookeeper for him to drive me down to the hospital.  Due to being so sick, I didn't even bother with putting on my glasses.  I simply didn't care.

Upon arrival at the hospital, I went through the typical triage area and then was taken back to be seen.  Amazingly, this all went very rapidly and everyone was very nice!  I saw the doctor and he decides what he is going to do.  Part of his plan was an IV for fluids because I was so terribly dehydrated.  Doctor say that the nurse will be right in to get it started.

In walks the nurse.  I opened my eyes enough to verify if the shape was male or female.  Male.  Definitely my age or younger.  He was very polite as he moved around the room.  Then he asked if I still taught at McCort.

Huh?  I haven't been at McCort since spring of 2004.  And I'm not wearing my glasses, so I can't even see who this guy is.  He casually says that I was his math teacher. 

And now it's time for my IV!  Kudos to Travis (who's name I remembered shortly thereafter) for not spending an hour or more digging for my nonexistent veins.  He actually was very good at his job.

When he finished taping down the tubing and had everything situated, I told him he was now the envy of every high school student in the world.  What student wouldn't LOVE to stab their math teacher with a needle!?!?

What teacher doesn't dread the day that a past student is part of the "real world."  We remember you as a teenager or younger.  It's always a frightening thought!  And my old student was my nurse!

PS - Travis, you were a great nurse.  The IV was well done.  Congratulations on turning into who you are!  Welcome out into the real world.  :)

Say "Cheese!"

This past week, Heathen #3 came home from kindergarten with an interesting assignment.  He received a paper turkey, and he was to make a disguise for it.  It was a parent/child project (a.k.a. - you're allowed to help).  The assignment even gave a few hints for possible disguises.  I assumed the littlest Heathen would pick one of the suggestions.  I was SO wrong.

He wanted to put his turkey in a bikini because it was going to a "bikinishoot" - which translates into "bikini shoot," like a model.  It took a little bit to figure out what the correct translation was because he was getting VERY impatient with the Momma.

I'm figuring he won't have thought this through very clearly, and it shouldn't take much time.  I'll give the Heathen some crayons, he'll draw a swimming suit, and we're good!  NOPE!

After much work translating, I discovered that this turkey wasn't just to wear a regular bikini, it was to be a STRING bikini (Heathen translation: a bikini with those "things" and lots of hand motions).  And he wanted it to be sparkly.

Bless Grandma and her glitter glue!  She saved me (again).  After more than an hour of coloring, cutting, pasting, gluing, leaning in the glitter with our elbows, and REDOING everything on the above list, here is what the Heathen created for his disguise:

Don't miss the nail polish and the lipstick.  And the sandals have "those things on them" that he wanted as well!  I think I should have gone into fashion!

A New Era Begins

For the first time in twelve and a half years, I do not have a little Heathen at home.  Heathen #3 became an "offical kindergartener" last Monday.  He was more than ready to go.

He fought with some nervousness the day or so before he boarded the big yellow bus.  But on that morning, he was too busy running around with the other kids at the bus stop.  The photo below shows my youger two Heathens and my neighbor's three (her youngest also started kindergarten).

Heathen #3 managed to snag his foot running over a backpack and fell on the sidewalk.  He smacked his head on the concrete and brush burned his knee.  As soon as he hit the concrete, I heard the school bus start up the street - go figure!

I stood him up and checked for blood - there wasn't any.  He was still sniveling when Heathen #2 herded him onto the bus with the other kids.  He didn't have time to be scared.  He was still rubbing his knee and his forehead from falling.

I'll admit to a few sniffles and tears of my own after the bus left.  It was a very long, quiet day at the zoo by myself.  Turns out, I really do like the Heathens after all!

Later that afternoon...

Around 3:45, the school bus returned to Shady Lane with the Heathens aboard.  Our neighborhood children don't walk off the bus, they swarm off the bus.  The littlest Heathen came running up the front steps yelling, "Momma, it was AWESOME!!!" 

My Heathens came inside and immediately began handing me papers and talking at the same time.  I finally got to ask Heathen #3 what was his favorite part of his "awesome" day.  (I'm listing the possibilities in my head: art, recess, gym, etc.)

With his arms spread wide, a huge smile on his face and sparkling eyes, Heathen #3 announces, "They give you all your food at once, even your dessert!  And you get to pick what you put on your tray!"

Only my Heathen's favorite part of the day would be the cafeteria.

The Last Huzzah

My Heathens never sleep well the night before school starts.  They are awake for ever, all worked up about the next day.  This year, I decided that we weren't staying home and we were NOT going to bed at 8 pm.

Instead, we drove almost three hours to attend the Renaissance Faire near Mount Hope!  August 28 and 29 was one of the themed weekends: Pyrate Invasion!  So the Heathens and I went to the local thrift store and put together pirate costumes to wear.

We invited the Grandma to go along with us.  She didn't go in costume, but she did make and take a pirate flag.

We arrived around 11:30 am and we didn't leave until after 8 pm.  We saw singers, musicians, sword swallowers, jousting, knights, pirates, queens, peasants and SO much more.  The Heathens decided that they would like to go back again.  The only bad part of the day was when my camera broke.

The younger two Heathens attended pirate school and learned how to fight with the blow-up swords they were given.  We all did a pirate treasure hunt to search for the secret word that opened the treasure chest.  All three Heathens went to sword school with the actors who taught them how to do mock sword fights for spectators.  We had an amazing day!

Motor Homes and Canoes (the canoe part)

After the trip to the water park, and two days at the beach, we headed home.  It was time to trade in the mode of transportation!

For the past three years, we have gathered the camping gear and the canoes and headed for Kinzua Reservoir.  It is one the Heathens favorite places.  Every year, we load the canoes with all the gear and paddle to a "boat only" camp ground.  It is so peaceful and quiet and we simply turn the Heathens loose into the woods and water.

We had a new member of the paddling team this year:

We took the Travelocity Gnome with us.  He was a huge hit with everyone we saw.  We had wanted to take him to Assateague with us, but he didn't arrive in time.  The Gnome spent the trip as a hood ornament on Heathen #1's kayak.

Since we were able to spend an extra day on the lake, we took a day trip with the Heathens and paddled across the state line and into New York.  We went to the Onoville Marina for ice cream (it's only 5 miles each way...)  Onoville does have a really cool feature - they have a bald eagle that makes it's nest at the marina every year.  We saw it flying, but never low enough to get a picture.  The nest area was posted around on the shore side, and there were buoys around the water side.

This year, we had a really cool neighbor named Mike.  Mike built his own house boat and lives at the lake for weeks at a time.  He goes home for breakfast and supper, and his wife comes out for the night about once a week and gathers up his dirty clothes.  He was quite a hoot!  In this photo, Mike is showing the Asst. Zookeeper his $7 map of the lake that was supposed to show him the good fishing spots.

The Heathens are already making plans for what they want to do at the lake next year.  I can't wait to see what they come up with!

Motor Homes and Canoes (the motor home part)

We made it home from vacation just over a week ago - and that week was the whirlwind of getting ready for school to start.  But many of you have asked about the trips that we took and looked at the photos.  Time to share the stories:

Water Country USA
We left on a Friday afternoon around 3pm and took "Rover" (our motor home) to Williamsburg, VA were we found a WalMart to park at for the night.  You must try it, we found the perfect WalMart.  We were one of approximately 30 campers in the back corner of the lot.  We were about 50 yards from an IHOP (where we ate breakfast) and in the same parking lot with a Starbuck's.

We finished the drive to Water Country USA.  Upon arrival, the Heathens changed into swim trunks and we smeared everyone with sun screen.  Since we are not a family that tends to burn on average, I had purchased a bottle of sunscreen to take to the park.  And since the activity was "water park," I purchased water-proof sunscreen.

The Heathens and the Asst. Zookeeper looked like I had coated them with plastic.  The sunscreen was terrible.  It was really sticky.  And then further into the day, it started to FLAKE.  But no one got burned!

The boys had a really great time.  And so did the Asst. Zookeeper.  :)

After leaving the water park, we headed further south in Virginia so that we could cross the bay into Eastern Virginia.  The Heathens thought the bridges that changed to tunnels were really cool.  On our way, we found this lady:

Make sure to read the license plate.  And I can answer the questions you have running through your minds:

1.  Yes, we passed her.

2.  Of course we looked.

3.  And YES, she was.

Assateague Island

Despite the enjoyable traffic, we made it to Assateague Island without trouble.  The Heathens have a mixed beach history.  Heathen #1 was at the beach last at age 5, loved it and remembers it clearly.  Heathen #2 was at the beach at age 1, loved it and has vague memories.  Heathen #3 had never been.

The boys loved camping on the island with the wild horses.  We saw quite a few.  The Heathens also read the handout about not getting too close because the horses can bite - and spent the rest of the time pointing out the "stupid" people and wanting to wait to see if they were bitten!

For those of you never lucky enough to meet Rover in person, here he is!  The Heathens just love him and already plotting trips for next summer.  We even have the vintage owl lights that my father-in-law unearthed from his basement!

Heathens and Arrows

Every year, the Heathens attend Cub Scout Day Camp at New Germany Grove.  One of the favorite activities at day camp is the chance to shoot the bows.  While we do actually own a bow and target at the Zoo, I do discourage the Heathens from playing with them.  For sone reason, I sea nothing but disaster every time I look at them.

This year at Day Camp, Heathen #2 did a phenomenal job shooting.  Each turn the boys have to shoot, they shoot three arrows.  Here is one of the sets of three that he shot:

And this is how close the one arrow of the three was to the center:

Last Year's Mission

My mother's birthday is the very beginning of June.  And like most people my age, I struggle with the "What do I get her?" issue.  She has reached the point in her life where if she wants or needs something, she buys it.  Makes it a little difficult on my end.

Last year was no different.  The Heathens and I were having no luck.  So, we decided to be ORIGINAL, and buy her bedding plants.  At least that's how it started, before the Heathens imaginations joined in.

As we were heading to WalMart to purchase the flowers, one of the Heathens decided we should plant them for her without her knowing, thus adding to the surprise.  (Okay - no problem.)

BUT!  She would see us out the window before we could finish and it would ruin the surprise.  We needed camo to help us hide!  (Absolutely!  This could get interesting.)

At this point, we were at WalMart and picked out the flat of flowers.  We also picked out two little rabbit statues to place in the garden.  I tend to be an impulse shopper and my Heathens have inherited that from me.

We checked the toy section - no camo costumes.  And the ones in the outdoor section where too expensive.  We headed for the makeup, where I grabbed cheap eye shadow in brown, green, and black.

After paying at WalMart, we headed for Toys R Us.  We found four camo costumes in the dress-up section.  The costumes had vests, hats, plastic knives, binoculars, compasses, etc.  They were very cool.  After paying, we headed out to the parking lot to put on our gear.

After suiting up (myself included!), we headed for Grammy B's house.  On the drive over, the Heathens decided that they needed code names.  At this point, I don't remember what they were.  The only one I recall is that Heathen #3 was Rudolf.

We parked at the very end of the driveway in the trees and applied our "camo paint."  Then the mission began.  The older two Heathens spent the next twenty minutes sneaking around my mother's house and peaking in her windows while the youngest Heathen and I planted her flowers.

When finished, we knocked on her front door and brought her out to see our work.  My dad said they had seen the boys running around in the yard and had wondered what we were doing. 

The night wasn't over yet!  We decided to get ice cream just down the road from my parents' house.  The boys went in their camo and face paint.  And so did I.  Needless to say, we drew a few odd looks.  But the boys had a great time.

My mother took some pictures that evening, and I just managed to lay my hands on them.  Here is the team from the mission:

Refrigerator Art

It's nothing new for some one's child to say they are the "meanest mom in the world!" I remember flinging that at my own mother - and her simply shrugging it off with a small smile. I always thought that comment should have seriously wounded her, and yet it didn't.

Fast forward to current day - any current day at the Zoo - and the comment has changed slightly. It is now, "You are the meanest mom EVER!" And while it does sting (don't you dare tell my Heathens that!), I have a ready reply.

"It's Grammy B's fault. She taught me to be a mean mom."

Grammy B happens to be my mother. :) And she has heard me say this, and she smiles and then tells the Heathens that I'm right! Bless her. Being a mother never really ends.

Last week, Heathen #2 was upset with me. I can't even remember what he was upset about (he gets upset over just about anything). He went downstairs for about 10 minutes, and then came to find me in the kitchen. With a very dour look on his face, he presented me with this drawing:

It doesn't scan very well - sorry for the quality. But I'm sure you can still see enough! I wish the "I" in "Evil" was visible (Heathen #2 actually spells very well!).

This situation could go one of two ways:

Option #1 - yell at the Heathen for being mean to me. OR

Option #2 - compliment his drawing skills! Not only am I depicted with a witch hat (complete with SYMBOLS), but I also have the tell-tale wart (with HAIR) on my nose and the required wrinkle on my cheek!

I'm pretty sure you can guess the option I chose. He did draw me with a necklace (the Heathen knows my love of jewelry!) and he signed the top corner with "Love, Gavin."

This photo has been hanging on the refrigerator for all to see as they enter our Zoo. Heathen #2 is now taking pride in his drawing and he knows I love it. He still gets upset with me, and I don't think that will ever change. But I have definitely "one-upped" my mother!

Grammy B never got such great art work from her children to verify she was the meanest ever. I actually have PROOF!

The Asst. Zookeeper WINS!!!

Today was a busy day. It was the first day of Cub Scout Day Camp and I was there with the boys all day. It was scorching hot all day and there was very little breeze. By the end of the day, we were all hot, sweaty, and ready to head for Grandma's pool.

We made it to the pool around 5 pm and I left a voicemail for the Asst. Zookeeper letting him know where we were. He called back a few minutes later and asked where I wanted to go for dinner. I was touched. He knew that the last thing I wanted to do after spending all day at camp was to make dinner. Definitely getting the brownie points!

He arrived at the pool at 6:30 and promptly handed me a medium sized, lime green gift bag. I was very confused. I assumed that he was giving me something that someone had asked him to pass along to me. But I still gave him the confused puppy look. He smiled and said "Happy Anniversary."

And it STILL took a minute to dawn on me. Today was my anniversary and I HAD FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT!!!!!! And the Asst. Zookeeper, not only remembered, but had gotten me a present as well!

Needless to say, I was completely mortified and apologized profusely. He smiled, and said that was the best present I could have given him. "I win!" he shouted and then gave a very evil chuckle.

I'm sure I'll never live this down. Nor do I think I deserve to!

Happy Anniversary to the Asst. Zookeeper! :) You are definitely a keeper - even if you did spend the rest of the evening shouting "I win" everywhere we went!

Pickles, Dumpsters, and Butterfly Pee!

For those of you who have waited so patiently for this story, here you go!

Two weekends ago, our Zoo traveled into Canada to take the Heathens to Niagara Falls. Heathen #1 had been there as an infant, but has no memory of it. And Heathens #2 and #3 had never gone.

We left Friday around 2 pm, as soon as the Asst. Zookeeper returned home from the mine. Instead of driving the Nitro, we decided to take the "new" motor home we had purchased a few weeks before. It was lovingly dubbed "Rover."

We went to Jellystone Campground. It was really nice and the Heathens really liked it. Definitely a "kid-friendly" place and it was only a few miles from the Falls.

We made it to the falls that evening just in time to see the fireworks over the Horseshoe Falls. It was beautiful. And after the fireworks, the American Falls were lit with the colored lasers.

Saturday, we did the typical touristy type of things:

Journey Behind the Falls:

Maid of the Mist:

We also had dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. If you have never taken your children there, you definitely must go!

About this time into the trip, our debit card QUIT working. We knew there was enough money in the account, but figured we went over a limit in daily spending. No problem - we had a second debit card to a different account. It's all good.

Saturday evening, the Heathens all rented these go-cart-things for about two hours. They had the BEST time.

And the Asst. Zookeeper had to give it a try as well. Go figure!

Sunday morning, I was up before all the Heathens. As I was getting ready to leaver Rover and take a walk, the Heathens started talking in their sleep. This is something they frequently do at home. Heathen #2 sat straight up in his bed (eyes still closed) and started mumbling something about pickles. Heathen #1 promptly rolled over and said, "Put it in the dumpster." Heathen #2 laid back down and continued sleeping.

We packed up Rover and headed to the Butterfly Conservatory. It was breathtaking. Another "must-see" when going to Niagara Falls.

Around 2:30 pm, we loaded up Rover with all of the Heathens (and the Duchess, our shepherd/husky mix that went along) and headed for home. About 2 miles from the Butterfly Conservatory, we heard a "bad" sound from Rover and the Asst. Zookeeper promptly pulled to the side of the road.

I learned that motors have lots of belts to make them work. You really only need 1 belt to make the thing "go" and the rest can all be done without. Yup - we broke the only necessary belt, the alternator belt. And we were still in Canada and were nowhere near an auto parts store.

The Asst. Zookeeper nursed Rover a few miles down the road until we found a small group of stores - including an auto parts store! However, most stores in Canada close at noon on Sunday, which meant that the auto parts store was already closed. There was a thrift store still open however, and the Asst. Zookeeper made two purchases: a multi-tool and a pair of pantyhose.

He managed to rig a belt that got us about another 10 miles to an auto parts store that was still open, but was closing in about another 10 minutes. He ran inside and bought the new belt - we were saved! We'd get home late, but we would still get home on the planned day.

After some minor surgery for Rover in the parking lot, we managed to make it across the border and back into the United States. We went approximately 5 miles, and again, heard Rover make a "bad" noise. We had snapped another belt. And again, there were no auto parts stores in site.

We nursed Rover along mile by mile, hoping to find a store that would be helpful. The Asst. Zookeeper made two belts to get us along. Both were made out of rope that he lashed together to form a circle and then wrapped with Duct tape to make it thick enough. The rope belts managed to get us to a Home Depot parking lot that was next to a 24-hr Denny's. At this point, it was after 11 pm and we had only made it approximately 15-20 miles from the Butterfly Conservatory where we had started. We all crawled into bed.

Monday morning, the Asst. Zookeeper and I both work up before the Heathens. He was scratching at his legs constantly and I asked him if he had gotten a lot of bug bites while we were camping. I knew I had gotten several, but he rarely does. His response was, "No, the butterflies peed on me yesterday."

How am I supposed to respond to that? Should it be, "Oh, sorry"? My response was very intelligent. It was a "huh?" He laughed and explained that with the motor overheating, he had gotten antifreeze on him and that it itched.

We limped the Rover another 2 miles to an OPEN auto parts store where the Asst. Zookeeper purchased 2 belts and the appropriate tools to tighten the belt once it was on (which is why the second belt had broken).

Rover pulled up in front of our Zoo at approximately 2:30 pm on Monday afternoon - only about 15 hours later than we had planned. But the Heathens had a wonderful time and so did we!

24-Hour Cheese

Yesterday evening, after Heathen #1's soccer game, I headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things that we needed for the Zoo to make it through the week. I took the youngest Heathen along for the trip.

Heathen #3 sat in the seat on the cart and had control of "THE LIST" and was in charge of crossing things out as they were placed in the cart. This is actually harder for a four-year-old to do then you would think - especially when the list is written in cursive.

When we arrived at the deli, the lady behind the counter offered him a slice of cheese, which he happily accepted. As we wheeled away from the counter, he informed me that he couldn't eat his cheese at the moment because he was busy crossing things off "THE LIST."

I tucked the cheese (wrapped in one of those little pieces of waxed paper) into the side of my purse so that it wouldn't get lost or smushed.

fast forward 24 hours....

This evening, we stopped at Sheetz to put gas in the Zoomobile. I decided that I wanted to run into the store and grab a cup of coffee. I opened my purse. And I immediately stopped, stared, and hung my head.

I then pulled out the wrapped up cheese and handed it to the Asst. Zookeeper, asking him to throw it in the garbage.

The look on his face was perfect. And I didn't even have to explain anything more than, "I was at the grocery store yesterday with one of our children." He just nodded, and put it in the garbage.

** In honor of all the other women in the world who carry cheese slices around in their purses for 24 hours WITHOUT noticing: Happy Mother's Day!

Heathen #3's Big Week

Tuesday was his kindergarten screening. Or, as he referred to it, his "Kindergarten Interview." This required a carefully selected outfit, complete with dress shoes.

Friday night was Heathen #3's Spring Program at KIDDS Castle. Thus the pirate costume (complete with parrot, thanks to the wonderful Miss Cindy!) Again, another carefully selected outfit that included a tie! The poor child was roasting by the time the show was over.

And Saturday morning, his very first soccer game!

Golf, Beer, and a Cell Phone

What is wrong with this picture?

1. He's wearing a collared shirt.
2. He's carrying a golf bag.
3. He's wearing khakis.
4. He's the only man alive to own golf SANDALS - which he's holding in his hand.

Today, the Asst. Zookeeper had a "golf outing" for the mining company. I always love the stories that come home from these events. One day, I'm going to go hang out at the golf course and watch the fun.

This year, he sent me several text messages over the course of the day. I'm going to add them in below, along with the time they were sent. Tee time was at 1 pm.

at 4:02 pm
We played 9 holes. We have 4 guys, 2 sets of clubs, 1 baseball bat, 2 guys bleeding, and 9 more holes to go.

I responded:
So it is going well!

at 4:15 pm
Meerkat just scared off the beer girl. (I didn't respond. I was afraid to ask!)

at 4: 29 pm

And now we've flipped over a golf cart.

I responded:

You make me so proud.

When I spoke with him around 6, I learned that they had to pull one of the guys out of the ponds. Apparently, he had only brought one golf ball with him, and he was determined to take the same ball back home!

Why only at 3 a.m.?

Why never at 8 a.m.? Or, how about noon, when they are at school? I wish they could try for mid-afternoon.

WHY do my Heathens only feel the need to VOMIT around 3 a.m.?

Monday morning, it was Heathen #3. The Asst. Zookeeper's alarm sounded at 3 a.m. and he headed out the door for work. As I hear the front door shut, Heathen #3 comes around the corner of my bedroom. "Where's Daddy going?" "To work." "Oh, good." And he crawled over top of me to get to his father's side of the bed. About 10 minutes later, he sat straight up and yelled "I'm gonna be sick!"

After about 6 hours of him dragging around "the bucket," he was just fine.

I caught up on the missed sleep and the other two Heathens were healthy. YES! I'd dodged a bullet!

This morning, it was Heathen #2. He, however, managed to wake up the entire house. He goes running past my bedroom door screaming MOM at the top of his lungs. Once I got him taken care of and tucked into bed with me, Heathen #3 comes around the corner.

Heathen #3 has an issue with my bed. He thinks that the only two people allowed in it are him and me. The Asst. Zookeeper is only considered "good" if he's at work and Heathen #3 can invade the bed. Once he saw that Heathen #2 was tucked up, he suddenly had a "scary dream" and had to crawl in as well.

Really, is it too much to ask for these events to take place during normal waking hours?

Good Heavens - He's 8!

Yesterday, the middle Heathen turned 8!

He's older now that Heathen #1 was bringing home Heathen #3! (Everyone follow that?)

He's my own special kind of pennance - he's as impatient as I am. He has a temper like mine. He drives me bonkers most days!!!

But!

I get more comments about him then I do the other two - about how sweet he can be. I can't wait to see how this particular Heathen turns out...

Award for Immaturity

There really should be an award for immaturity. There's an award for practically everything else. If there was such an award, the Asst. Zookeeper would definitely make a clean sweep!

This evening, we colored Easter eggs with Heathens #1-3. We always do it on Saturday night - not because of any "tradition" that requires that we do it that night. That's just when we run out of time and have to do it!

For the past many years, I've set up the table and then taken the photographs, while the Asst. Zookeeper actually assisted the youngest child with the egg coloring. I have a collection of photos that look like this:

This year, I offered him the choice. Would you like to participate in the egg coloring or would you like to run the camera? He opted for the camera this year.

After we were all cleaned up, he handed me the camera and went out for a cigarette. While he was out on the front porch, I decided to scan through the photos and see how they turned out.

I found these two photos mixed in with the photos of the Heathens coloring eggs:

At least he's MY immature Asst. Zookeeper! Someone else may have gotten upset. :)

Not Quite a Teenager

Today, Heathen #1 turns 12. Ugh. The first thing he asked me this morning was if I thought he was any taller than he was yesterday. And I, of course, said yes!

The boy stands at about 5'1" and weighs just shy of 100 lbs. And I remember when he was little enough to pick up and sway back and forth with - and wanted me too! If I tried to pick him up now, I'd probably end up in the emergency room.

Yes, time flies. Yes, it is hard to believe that he is that old. No, it doesn't make me feel old!

He's turning into a son that Dan and I are proud of. I wouldn't trade him for the world. However, I might rent him out once in a while...

His birthday party was yesterday. What a group! 15 boys (ages 10 - 14) met at the gym we rented for a Nerf battle. We used tables to set up bunkers and sniper's nests and places to hide, etc. And if I can get my camera to cooperate, I'll share the photos. For two hours, there were Nerf darts flying everywhere, and they all had a fantastic time. It was a little daunting when they started to arrive with DUFFLE BAGS of Nerf guns and ammo. It was like the SWAT team was landing and preparing for a hostage situation!

This evening, we took the three Heathens to Fuji Steakhouse for dinner. The Heathens had never been there before and were amazed by the flames and the onion volcano. Heathen #2 was the only one to catch the broccoli in his mouth despite the other two's valiant attempts.

I wonder what the next year will hold...

Baggies and Birthdays

Last week, on Sunday, March 21st, the Asst. Zookeeper accomplished something that many of us who know him NEVER thought he would manage - he survived long enough to reach the age of 30....

Yes, despite some of his better efforts over the years, he made it to this landmark birthday. I thought long and hard about what I was going to give him this year. The Heathens didn't provide any good ideas for the first time ever. I was really beginning to panic that I wouldn't think of anything with which to mark this auspicious occasion. And then it hit me...

It was the perfect idea! He would never forget it. He's been saying for years that it would be the very last thing he would need on Earth. It didn't require any special shopping, it was already purchased and in the house! The perfect gift for the Asst. Zookeeper was...

... a Ziploc baggie.

To anyone who's known him, it makes sense! He's said that was all that would be needed to pick up the pieces that were left of him when he finally croaked. He always said a coffin would be too big! So I gave the man a sandwich baggie for his 30th birthday. :)

No shoes, No shirt, No service.

This evening, I went running at the YMCA after dinner. This is a regular Tuesday evening event. The Asst. Zookeeper goes to his guitar lesson. Heathen #1 goes with him and attends his drum lesson. Heathens #2 and #3 hang out in the play room at the YMCA while I run. This is the normal schedule. Today was normal... or as close as it every gets at this Zoo.

Before dinner, Heathen #3 arrived in the kitchen wearing nothing but his guchies. He announced that his shirt and his pants were wet. Anyone raising small boys will understand that this is not an uncommon occurrence with young boys. They have very short attention spans and their aim goes wherever their eyes go. My response to his announcement was "Okay, no problem."

Since I'm not taking any prizes for Mother of the Year, I allowed Heathen #3 to eat his dinner in just his guchies. After eating, I told him that he had to go put on clothes so that we could go to the YMCA. I then proceeded to go change for running.

I put the younger two Heathens in the car and off we went to the YMCA. Once inside, I signed the two Heathens into the playroom and gave them the "You'll Behave Or Else" speech that is required of all parents. Most of us realize that this speech is done as much for the person watching the children as for the children themselves. It means that we really ARE attempting to train the children (or in my case, Heathens).

Heathen #3 suddenly turned around and looked at me with panic on his face. "I don't have a shirt on!"

Let me repeat that for anyone who's automatic thought was "Huh?"

"I don't have a shirt on!"

In his rush to go outside and play for 90 seconds before leaving the Zoo, Heathen #3 put on pants, socks, snow boot, and a winter jacket (which he had zipped up to his chin without any assistance). He NEVER put a shirt on!

After staring at him as though he were a two-headed monster for a few seconds, I offered him the solution of wearing my sweatshirt that I had over my running clothes. This option he flatly refused.

Heathen #2 came to my rescue!!!! He happened to be wearing a t-shirt and a sweatshirt over top. He offered his sweatshirt to Heathen #3, who gladly accepted.

On the way home after running, Heathen #3 and I discussed what "go get dressed to leave the zoo" entails. And the conversation went downhill quickly. We ended up talking about places where you didn't have to wear a shirt and circumstances where you don't have to wear a shirt. Heathen #2 happily contributed to the conversation corrosion. I'm so doomed...

One of these items is NOT like the others!

Every parent has found bizarre items upon opening the refrigerator door. To date, my finds have been limited to partially eaten food - sometimes put back in the fridge to save it, other times because they took a bite and didn't like it.
You'll notice in this photograph that there is an item that does not belong...

The Asst. Zookeeper opened the refrigerator door a few days ago, and was MOONED by the stuffed dino. This particular critter belongs to Heathen #3 and goes by the name of Diamond.

When we called Heathen #3 into the kitchen and showed it to him, his response was "There she is!"

And then he walked away... leaving the critter in the fridge...

Kudos to Heathen #1

Usually, when the phone rings and I don't recognize the number, it's a telemarketer or a wrong number. This afternoon, it was neither.

A mother called to tell me thank you. Heathen #1 helped her son last night at the ski slopes. He was badly hurt skiing and Heathen #1 was the first one there. He held C-spine and sent two other boys for the ski patrol. Apparently, he calmed the boy down and talked to him until patrol got to him.

Her son was transported by ambulance. Turns out he has quite a concussion on top of his other injuries. She just wanted to say thank you.

It is so rare that someone goes out of their way to tell you something good about your kids. Especially at the age Heathen #1 is now. When I told him about the phone call, he just smiled - and then asked if he could go out and play in the snow.

Morning Prayer

Heathen #2 performed in his first talent show last week. He played "Morning Prayer" on the piano. Here's his performance:

BatFest 2010!

Several weeks ago, I picked up a brochure for Lincoln Caverns. Listed inside was an event called BatFest. And, of course, I decided that I wanted to go! Isn't that the logical response to seeing a brochure?


But, I couldn't go by myself with the Heathens. That wouldn't be nearly enough fun. So, I invited two additional families. The first family to agree to join us was the Thornton clan. They and their Knuckleheads accompanied us on our adventure to New York City in November. We were also joined by the Williamson clan. Their clan consists of a boy, age 8, and twin girls, age 6. Mama Williamson joined us, while Daddy Williamson is deployed with the military.

BatFest was limited to 50 people - and I provided 13! Those poor unsuspecting people at the cavern...

The event was 5 hours. It included crafts, games, information sessions with wildlife experts, and tours of two separate caves.

These two bats are Buffy and Bernice. They came with the wildlife rehabilitation speaker. They are both "small brown bats" - literally. Apparently, whomever named them was not feeling very inventive that day. Don't confuse them with the "large brown bats" that are only an inch longer.

Finding the bats inside the cave was not a easy as you would think! The crazy things are really small, the same color as the rocks, and they like to hide around corners. Here were two that we managed to see that were in good photo spots.

This little guy is a "small brown bat" that is covered in water droplets. The coating of water droplets lets you know that he has been hibernating for a while.

This little guy is called a "tri-color bat" and is noticably different because of the visible pink arms. Both of these bats are less than 3 inches long.

We had a fantastic day!