Waking the Animals

This morning is the perfect example of mornings at my zoo. It's no wonder that the first thing I do upon arrival at work is to slug down two or three cups of coffee and vegetate for several minutes. Mornings at the zoo are solos for me. The Assistant Zookeeper doesn't arrive home from work until 9am or later. I take pride in the fact that all my children are still living.

Years ago - and several children ago - I would roll out of bed at 5 am. I'd be out the door by 7 am. Nowadays, the mornings start around 7 to 7:20. Upon waking up, I usually discover that I've mammals laying on me. Sometimes it's one or two cats. Usually, it's Heathen #3. For a 30 lb mammal, he takes up a lot of bed space. It's really handy that the Asst. Zookeeper works nights.

I dragged myself into the shower. In the shower, I tend to lose track of time. My mind starts to whirl and I find myself just standing in the water with no idea how long I've been there. Quick scrub - and I jump out. Dry off. While I'm dressing, I start waking the Heathens.

Heathen #1 is the first stop - he's bedroom is right beside the bathroom. Flip on his light and call his name until I see some movement of the blankets (he sleeps with the blankets over his head). This child is like waking a hibernating bear - and usually about as safe. As soon as I spot movement or I hear a groan, it's on to Heathen #2.

Flip on Heathen #2's light. This Heathen is much easier to wake. His bed is right under the light switch. He's usually already stirring when I get there. He also sleeps with his head under the blankets. But you never know which end of the bed is where his head is located. I've uncovered feet on many mornings. Once this one is awake and talking, it's back into Heathen #1's room to re-wake him again.

During the entire waking process, I have to keep talking to them or they will crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. After they are both moving, they head for the bathroom. I usually stand in the hall outside the door to keep them moving. Heathen #1 has been known to curl up on the bathroom floor.

Usually about this time, Heathen #3 announced from my room that I have to come wake him up. He's fun to wake up still. He's warm and floppy and cuddly. My days of this are numbered though. I'm enjoying it while I still can.

Then it's time to get the oldest two dressed. This involves arguments of whether clothing qualifies as "clean" or how many times you can wear something between laundering. It also is usually the first opportunity for Heathen #2 to have a melt down - usually because he gets stuck trying to get his pajamas off or his shirt on.

Once the older two Heathens are dressed - we head to the kitchen for breakfast. Breakfast at our zoo is cereal, 29 days out of 30. The Heathens tells me what cereal they want, I put it in bowls and add milk. Heathen #3 is in charge of spoons. As soon as they are all seated at the table, I give my speech of "eat your breakfast, I'm going to fix my hair..." and I head back to the bathroom.

While I dry and prep my hair for the day, I listen to the Heathens alternately chatting and screaming. By the time I'm applying makeup, I'm yelling from the bathroom to stop talking and eat. Usually, I make at least one trip down the steps to threaten them with annihilation if they don't hurry up and finish their food.

Then I've got to herd the older two into brushing their teeth and combing their hair. This is usually Heathen #2's chance for a second melt down - he always has knots in his hair. It's a wrestling match to get the knots out and keep his hands out of my way.

Then the alarm goes off in the kitchen and we suddenly have to find socks, shoes, coats, mittens, backpacks, and a violin (on Thursdays) and get those all appropriately applied. Then the older two Heathens head out the door to wait for the bus. And I take a deep breath.

Spinning on my heel, Heathen #3 now knows it's his turn for daily preparation and immediately becomes uncooperative. I usually haul him into his bedroom to change his clothes as though he were a football. And if it's a normal morning, he starts chatting that he wants to do something.

Today, the something was brushing his teeth. But he couldn't find his toothbrush because he hauls it all over the house. Once located, then he didn't want to brush his teeth anymore. So I announced that we were leaving and forcibly applied a hat and winter coat to Heathen #3.

From this point until we arrived at the sitter's house, Heathen #3 had a temper tantrum. He yelled the following items (over and over):

1. I want to brush my teeth!
2. I want fishies (which means he wanted to take a pack of goldfish crackers to share with Nicholas)!
3. Your not my friend!
4. I said I don't like you!

Add tears and crying and you have Heathen #3. It's very attractive on his part and it's always good for my self-esteem. It's a good thing I'm a morning person. Otherwise, none of my children would have lived this long.