24-Hour Cheese

Yesterday evening, after Heathen #1's soccer game, I headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things that we needed for the Zoo to make it through the week. I took the youngest Heathen along for the trip.

Heathen #3 sat in the seat on the cart and had control of "THE LIST" and was in charge of crossing things out as they were placed in the cart. This is actually harder for a four-year-old to do then you would think - especially when the list is written in cursive.

When we arrived at the deli, the lady behind the counter offered him a slice of cheese, which he happily accepted. As we wheeled away from the counter, he informed me that he couldn't eat his cheese at the moment because he was busy crossing things off "THE LIST."

I tucked the cheese (wrapped in one of those little pieces of waxed paper) into the side of my purse so that it wouldn't get lost or smushed.

fast forward 24 hours....

This evening, we stopped at Sheetz to put gas in the Zoomobile. I decided that I wanted to run into the store and grab a cup of coffee. I opened my purse. And I immediately stopped, stared, and hung my head.

I then pulled out the wrapped up cheese and handed it to the Asst. Zookeeper, asking him to throw it in the garbage.

The look on his face was perfect. And I didn't even have to explain anything more than, "I was at the grocery store yesterday with one of our children." He just nodded, and put it in the garbage.

** In honor of all the other women in the world who carry cheese slices around in their purses for 24 hours WITHOUT noticing: Happy Mother's Day!

Heathen #3's Big Week

Tuesday was his kindergarten screening. Or, as he referred to it, his "Kindergarten Interview." This required a carefully selected outfit, complete with dress shoes.

Friday night was Heathen #3's Spring Program at KIDDS Castle. Thus the pirate costume (complete with parrot, thanks to the wonderful Miss Cindy!) Again, another carefully selected outfit that included a tie! The poor child was roasting by the time the show was over.

And Saturday morning, his very first soccer game!

Golf, Beer, and a Cell Phone

What is wrong with this picture?

1. He's wearing a collared shirt.
2. He's carrying a golf bag.
3. He's wearing khakis.
4. He's the only man alive to own golf SANDALS - which he's holding in his hand.

Today, the Asst. Zookeeper had a "golf outing" for the mining company. I always love the stories that come home from these events. One day, I'm going to go hang out at the golf course and watch the fun.

This year, he sent me several text messages over the course of the day. I'm going to add them in below, along with the time they were sent. Tee time was at 1 pm.

at 4:02 pm
We played 9 holes. We have 4 guys, 2 sets of clubs, 1 baseball bat, 2 guys bleeding, and 9 more holes to go.

I responded:
So it is going well!

at 4:15 pm
Meerkat just scared off the beer girl. (I didn't respond. I was afraid to ask!)

at 4: 29 pm

And now we've flipped over a golf cart.

I responded:

You make me so proud.

When I spoke with him around 6, I learned that they had to pull one of the guys out of the ponds. Apparently, he had only brought one golf ball with him, and he was determined to take the same ball back home!

Why only at 3 a.m.?

Why never at 8 a.m.? Or, how about noon, when they are at school? I wish they could try for mid-afternoon.

WHY do my Heathens only feel the need to VOMIT around 3 a.m.?

Monday morning, it was Heathen #3. The Asst. Zookeeper's alarm sounded at 3 a.m. and he headed out the door for work. As I hear the front door shut, Heathen #3 comes around the corner of my bedroom. "Where's Daddy going?" "To work." "Oh, good." And he crawled over top of me to get to his father's side of the bed. About 10 minutes later, he sat straight up and yelled "I'm gonna be sick!"

After about 6 hours of him dragging around "the bucket," he was just fine.

I caught up on the missed sleep and the other two Heathens were healthy. YES! I'd dodged a bullet!

This morning, it was Heathen #2. He, however, managed to wake up the entire house. He goes running past my bedroom door screaming MOM at the top of his lungs. Once I got him taken care of and tucked into bed with me, Heathen #3 comes around the corner.

Heathen #3 has an issue with my bed. He thinks that the only two people allowed in it are him and me. The Asst. Zookeeper is only considered "good" if he's at work and Heathen #3 can invade the bed. Once he saw that Heathen #2 was tucked up, he suddenly had a "scary dream" and had to crawl in as well.

Really, is it too much to ask for these events to take place during normal waking hours?

Good Heavens - He's 8!

Yesterday, the middle Heathen turned 8!

He's older now that Heathen #1 was bringing home Heathen #3! (Everyone follow that?)

He's my own special kind of pennance - he's as impatient as I am. He has a temper like mine. He drives me bonkers most days!!!

But!

I get more comments about him then I do the other two - about how sweet he can be. I can't wait to see how this particular Heathen turns out...

Award for Immaturity

There really should be an award for immaturity. There's an award for practically everything else. If there was such an award, the Asst. Zookeeper would definitely make a clean sweep!

This evening, we colored Easter eggs with Heathens #1-3. We always do it on Saturday night - not because of any "tradition" that requires that we do it that night. That's just when we run out of time and have to do it!

For the past many years, I've set up the table and then taken the photographs, while the Asst. Zookeeper actually assisted the youngest child with the egg coloring. I have a collection of photos that look like this:

This year, I offered him the choice. Would you like to participate in the egg coloring or would you like to run the camera? He opted for the camera this year.

After we were all cleaned up, he handed me the camera and went out for a cigarette. While he was out on the front porch, I decided to scan through the photos and see how they turned out.

I found these two photos mixed in with the photos of the Heathens coloring eggs:

At least he's MY immature Asst. Zookeeper! Someone else may have gotten upset. :)

Not Quite a Teenager

Today, Heathen #1 turns 12. Ugh. The first thing he asked me this morning was if I thought he was any taller than he was yesterday. And I, of course, said yes!

The boy stands at about 5'1" and weighs just shy of 100 lbs. And I remember when he was little enough to pick up and sway back and forth with - and wanted me too! If I tried to pick him up now, I'd probably end up in the emergency room.

Yes, time flies. Yes, it is hard to believe that he is that old. No, it doesn't make me feel old!

He's turning into a son that Dan and I are proud of. I wouldn't trade him for the world. However, I might rent him out once in a while...

His birthday party was yesterday. What a group! 15 boys (ages 10 - 14) met at the gym we rented for a Nerf battle. We used tables to set up bunkers and sniper's nests and places to hide, etc. And if I can get my camera to cooperate, I'll share the photos. For two hours, there were Nerf darts flying everywhere, and they all had a fantastic time. It was a little daunting when they started to arrive with DUFFLE BAGS of Nerf guns and ammo. It was like the SWAT team was landing and preparing for a hostage situation!

This evening, we took the three Heathens to Fuji Steakhouse for dinner. The Heathens had never been there before and were amazed by the flames and the onion volcano. Heathen #2 was the only one to catch the broccoli in his mouth despite the other two's valiant attempts.

I wonder what the next year will hold...