Every parent does it, whether they admit to it or not. Whether said in anger, confusion, worry, excitement - we say things that make us pause and ask ourselves, "Did I just say that?"
These sayings change over the years. When the Heathens were younger, I remember saying the following:
WHY is there a stuffed dinosaur in the refrigerator?
WHY would you color your stomach with a blue permanent marker?
As the Heathens aged, what I said changed:
WHY would you hit your brother with a broom?
WHY is there a jar of lightening bugs in the refrigerator?
In the past week, I've racked up some new ones. Things I NEVER thought I would say:
No pooping on the sidewalk! (Yelled at the top of my lungs and directed at one of our dogs during a snowstorm.
No goats running a-muck in the basement! (Instructions to a Heathen to close the pen when one of our goats kidded too early and we brought her in the house.)
Don't look at me in that tone of voice! (Pick a Heathen - I've said it too all of them in the past week. At ages 17, 13, and 10 - all three have that "tone" to their face when they are angry with me.)
WHY is there an empty plastic bowl in the freezer?
WHY does everyone have SHOES in my bathroom? This is NOT YOUR BATHROOM!
Friday, March 25, 2016
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Costume Changes
There are weeks where I'm positive that I'm stuck in the movie Ground Hog's Day with Bill Murray. However, my movie title would be Halloween with the Heathens. Everyday requires multiple costume changes - forget the "wearing of different hats."
I originally ran into the concept of costume changes years ago when Heathen #2 was part of the local ballet company. During dress rehearsals, while I was chaperoning a group of third graders dressed as mice, I overheard some of the mothers of the older dancers discussing how one of the girls had a "30 second change" and a "45 second costume change" at different points during the production. And I remember thinking it was crazy - that some of the girls were playing so many roles that they had 6 or 7 costume changes with just seconds to get back out onto the stage.
Fast forward to this past weekend - and I was the one with multiple costume changes with only minutes to spare to get back on "stage!"
It was a typical Saturday at the Zoo (frighteningly typical): Heathen #1 was out of town for the weekend, attending his LAST Youth Rally at Living Waters. With him leaving Friday at dinner time and not returning until after lunch on Sunday - he left me short on a driver for the weekend (rather inconsiderate, if you ask me!). Heathen #2 had indoor guard practice from 8am-noon, and then was leaving from there to travel with the group to Tyrone for a competition. Heathen #3 had a swim meet at IUP and had to be in the water by 7 am. The Asst. Zookeeper was my dedicated driver for Heathen #3 - which left me with Heathen #2.
Unfortunately, I had an AYSO inter-regional scheduling meeting at 9am that same morning! This meeting typically lasts several hours.
So I started my morning with this outfit and attending a 3 hour scheduling meeting:
Then I quickly changed costumes and drove an hour from the meeting to the swim meet. I managed to see two of Heathen #3's events! Of course, the event I missed was the event that he finally met his goal of qualifying for districts in the 100 backstroke. Bless the Asst. Zookeeper's heart and the coaches' hearts for taking pictures for me!
As soon as the meet ended, the Asst. Zookeeper and I packed up the littlest Heathen. I changed costumes yet again! This time, it was an hour and 20 minute drive to Tyrone to see Heathen #2's performance with the indoor guard. We made it with just MINUTES to spare before his group took the floor! Bonus - got to see my Skinny Minnie's group perform as well!
And, finally, an hour and a half drive home. I made my final costume change and crawled into bed - EXHAUSTED. Zeus was quite unhappy as it was well past his 8pm bedtime. As soon as I crawled in bed, so did he.
It was a CRAZY day - but a great day for the Zoo. The next morning, we were up and out of the house before 9am. The Asst Zookeeper says we have a weekend off in April - of 2030 - if we are lucky.
I originally ran into the concept of costume changes years ago when Heathen #2 was part of the local ballet company. During dress rehearsals, while I was chaperoning a group of third graders dressed as mice, I overheard some of the mothers of the older dancers discussing how one of the girls had a "30 second change" and a "45 second costume change" at different points during the production. And I remember thinking it was crazy - that some of the girls were playing so many roles that they had 6 or 7 costume changes with just seconds to get back out onto the stage.
Fast forward to this past weekend - and I was the one with multiple costume changes with only minutes to spare to get back on "stage!"
It was a typical Saturday at the Zoo (frighteningly typical): Heathen #1 was out of town for the weekend, attending his LAST Youth Rally at Living Waters. With him leaving Friday at dinner time and not returning until after lunch on Sunday - he left me short on a driver for the weekend (rather inconsiderate, if you ask me!). Heathen #2 had indoor guard practice from 8am-noon, and then was leaving from there to travel with the group to Tyrone for a competition. Heathen #3 had a swim meet at IUP and had to be in the water by 7 am. The Asst. Zookeeper was my dedicated driver for Heathen #3 - which left me with Heathen #2.
Unfortunately, I had an AYSO inter-regional scheduling meeting at 9am that same morning! This meeting typically lasts several hours.
So I started my morning with this outfit and attending a 3 hour scheduling meeting:
Then I quickly changed costumes and drove an hour from the meeting to the swim meet. I managed to see two of Heathen #3's events! Of course, the event I missed was the event that he finally met his goal of qualifying for districts in the 100 backstroke. Bless the Asst. Zookeeper's heart and the coaches' hearts for taking pictures for me!
As soon as the meet ended, the Asst. Zookeeper and I packed up the littlest Heathen. I changed costumes yet again! This time, it was an hour and 20 minute drive to Tyrone to see Heathen #2's performance with the indoor guard. We made it with just MINUTES to spare before his group took the floor! Bonus - got to see my Skinny Minnie's group perform as well!
And, finally, an hour and a half drive home. I made my final costume change and crawled into bed - EXHAUSTED. Zeus was quite unhappy as it was well past his 8pm bedtime. As soon as I crawled in bed, so did he.
It was a CRAZY day - but a great day for the Zoo. The next morning, we were up and out of the house before 9am. The Asst Zookeeper says we have a weekend off in April - of 2030 - if we are lucky.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
The Joy of Volunteering
For those that know me (whether they know me slightly or know me well) are currently wondering if this post's title is sarcastic or sincere - as it would well be either.
I'm one of those souls that has the world "YES!" stamped on my forehead in invisible ink that only those requiring help in some method or another can see - usually from quite a distance (I think the ink flashes sometimes!). If someone asks me to help, I simply can NOT help myself. I say yes.
I have been a classroom parent, a visiting reader, a committee member (I've lost track of the number of committees), a board member, a treasurer, a fundraiser, an organizer, a chaperon, a team parent, a party planner - you name it, I've probably done it (or considered it before the Asst. Zookeeper put his foot down and told me NO MORE!)
Recently, just this past Saturday, my longest running affiliation with a volunteer organization came to an end. I've been counting down to this day for MONTHS. I felt the need to build a paper chain to count down the meetings remaining until "Freedom Day!" After approximately 12 years, I was ready to be finished.
Saturday was INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL for me - I was handing over responsibilities. Did I have everything prepped so that the new person was prepared to the best of my abilities? Was there any more I could have done to make the transition any smoother? Did I find the best replacement for my jobs?
During the banquet, I was recognized (much to my horror - I'd much rather fade into the wallpaper). But all these young scouts knew who it was that organized the trips, and the camps, and the fundraisers, etc. I wish I could have hugged them all - watching their hands shoot into the air because the knew the answer and wanted to be called on to give it was SO HEARTWARMING for me.
Those little hands straining with knowledge of who had loved them, was why that ink stamp exists on my forehead. It was never for the parents (many of which I could have smacked at one time or another). It was never for the recognition. It was never for the "power" of being in charge. It was for those scouts - they deserved the best program we were capable of providing. And, I believe, I helped provide that program for the past many years.
At the banquet, I handed everything over - and I went home full of worries and doubts. Not doubts in the people replacing me. I'm easily replaceable. All it takes is a warm body and some dedication. It was more a worry for the future of the group. I hope those taking over love the program and the scouts the way I have.
In addition to the scouts themselves, I have met some of the most AMAZING adults along the journey. People who share my values and dedication to children. Some friendships are built over the course of years as people slowly get to know one another. Other friendships are built in the matter of a second, as one person recognizes a dedicated volunteer in the other - my best friend was found this way.
So, to the Cub Scouts - THANK YOU for the program you have given my Heathens over the past 12 years. They have learned skills and abilities that are unique to the program and that will serve them well in life. THANK YOU to the other volunteers for every time you offered to help me when I seemed overwhelmed - whether I accepted the offer of help or not, the OFFER matter much more than you can imagine. THANK YOU to the scouts - you accepted that I was allowed to participate and have fun WITH you. For every story you told me, every project you shared with me, every achievement you showed me - THANK YOU.
As for the boys currently in the Pack, you will always be "mine" - just like the scouts that have bridged out ahead of you. I still find delight in hearing about college plans, good grades, adventures, etc. I know you all by name and will be keeping an eye out for you in the years to come.
While I say it with a sniffle, I am ready to BE PREPARED for the next chapter in my volunteering life. Although, I will never forget where it started. Cub Scout Pack 217 - thank you.
I'm one of those souls that has the world "YES!" stamped on my forehead in invisible ink that only those requiring help in some method or another can see - usually from quite a distance (I think the ink flashes sometimes!). If someone asks me to help, I simply can NOT help myself. I say yes.
I have been a classroom parent, a visiting reader, a committee member (I've lost track of the number of committees), a board member, a treasurer, a fundraiser, an organizer, a chaperon, a team parent, a party planner - you name it, I've probably done it (or considered it before the Asst. Zookeeper put his foot down and told me NO MORE!)
Recently, just this past Saturday, my longest running affiliation with a volunteer organization came to an end. I've been counting down to this day for MONTHS. I felt the need to build a paper chain to count down the meetings remaining until "Freedom Day!" After approximately 12 years, I was ready to be finished.
Saturday was INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL for me - I was handing over responsibilities. Did I have everything prepped so that the new person was prepared to the best of my abilities? Was there any more I could have done to make the transition any smoother? Did I find the best replacement for my jobs?
During the banquet, I was recognized (much to my horror - I'd much rather fade into the wallpaper). But all these young scouts knew who it was that organized the trips, and the camps, and the fundraisers, etc. I wish I could have hugged them all - watching their hands shoot into the air because the knew the answer and wanted to be called on to give it was SO HEARTWARMING for me.
Those little hands straining with knowledge of who had loved them, was why that ink stamp exists on my forehead. It was never for the parents (many of which I could have smacked at one time or another). It was never for the recognition. It was never for the "power" of being in charge. It was for those scouts - they deserved the best program we were capable of providing. And, I believe, I helped provide that program for the past many years.
At the banquet, I handed everything over - and I went home full of worries and doubts. Not doubts in the people replacing me. I'm easily replaceable. All it takes is a warm body and some dedication. It was more a worry for the future of the group. I hope those taking over love the program and the scouts the way I have.
In addition to the scouts themselves, I have met some of the most AMAZING adults along the journey. People who share my values and dedication to children. Some friendships are built over the course of years as people slowly get to know one another. Other friendships are built in the matter of a second, as one person recognizes a dedicated volunteer in the other - my best friend was found this way.
So, to the Cub Scouts - THANK YOU for the program you have given my Heathens over the past 12 years. They have learned skills and abilities that are unique to the program and that will serve them well in life. THANK YOU to the other volunteers for every time you offered to help me when I seemed overwhelmed - whether I accepted the offer of help or not, the OFFER matter much more than you can imagine. THANK YOU to the scouts - you accepted that I was allowed to participate and have fun WITH you. For every story you told me, every project you shared with me, every achievement you showed me - THANK YOU.
As for the boys currently in the Pack, you will always be "mine" - just like the scouts that have bridged out ahead of you. I still find delight in hearing about college plans, good grades, adventures, etc. I know you all by name and will be keeping an eye out for you in the years to come.
While I say it with a sniffle, I am ready to BE PREPARED for the next chapter in my volunteering life. Although, I will never forget where it started. Cub Scout Pack 217 - thank you.
Monday, February 15, 2016
8 At ONCE!
At the beginning of November, Kohl's was holding a great sale with a rebate on small appliances. And I saw an electric griddle - something the Asst. Zookeeper has talked about for years, but we could never find one exactly like he wanted (his specifications were exact). This griddle was everything that he wanted. So I bought it with the intention of saving it for Christmas.
I gave it to him long before Thanksgiving and didn't give him anything at Christmas.
He was so happy to be able to make 8 grilled cheese sandwiches at once that he could hardly contain himself. I was summoned to the kitchen to witness the "awesomeness" of 8 grilled cheeses happening at one time!
All I could think of was the Brave Little Tailor with Mickey Mouse when he's so excited about killing flies, but everyone things he's talking about giants:
Last weekend, he made French toast and I heard him talking to himself in the kitchen, "Look at THAT!" And I knew that he was again using his griddle.
So if anyone hears my Asst. Zookeeper talking about "8 at once," please know that he was not out slaying giants. He was making dinner - for which, I am ever grateful.
I gave it to him long before Thanksgiving and didn't give him anything at Christmas.
He was so happy to be able to make 8 grilled cheese sandwiches at once that he could hardly contain himself. I was summoned to the kitchen to witness the "awesomeness" of 8 grilled cheeses happening at one time!
All I could think of was the Brave Little Tailor with Mickey Mouse when he's so excited about killing flies, but everyone things he's talking about giants:
King: Did you kill seven [giants] with one blow?
Mickey: Uh, yes, your honor, and how!
King: ...well, how?
Mickey: I was all alone, I heard them coming, I looked up, and I was surrounded!
King: Yes?
Mickey: They were here, there, everywhere! A whole bunch of them! They came at me from the right, the left, right, left, left, right!
King: Yes, yes, go on!
Mickey: They were coming closer! The fight was on! I swung and missed! I missed and swung! I swung again and again and again! They were right on top of me!
King: And then?
Mickey: And then, I let 'em have it!
—Mickey Mouse
Last weekend, he made French toast and I heard him talking to himself in the kitchen, "Look at THAT!" And I knew that he was again using his griddle.
So if anyone hears my Asst. Zookeeper talking about "8 at once," please know that he was not out slaying giants. He was making dinner - for which, I am ever grateful.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Simple Joys: Time & Conversation
The Asst. Zookeeper and I have never been ones to exchange gifts. We watch other couples worry about the "perfect gift" for Christmas, birthdays - and now Valentine's Day is just around the corner.
It entertains me when people treat us as lepers because we don't have huge plans for the upcoming weekend. "What do you MEAN you aren't doing ANYTHING special?" Pair this shocked question with a horrified look on the face of the woman who was painting my nails. Sometimes, I'm then pitied as though I don't know how horrible my life is - I'm told that there is STILL TIME to make plans and I can still go shopping.
Occasionally, I feel the urge to lie to these people (acquaintances, friends, and even family) just to avoid the entire conversation. I look at it as being a lie of convenience. I don't have to be treated as though I'm abnormal. I don't feel the need to attempt and defend our decisions. And, yet, I continue to tell people:
No - we do not have holiday/birthday plans. No - we do not exchange gifts.
YES - we are happy.
And here is why we are happy. Almost 20 years ago, when the Zoo didn't yet exist, we were NOT the Head and Asst. Zookeeper. We were simply US - and we had no extra money. Buying gifts and going out for fancy dinners wasn't an option at that point. So we learned to spend TIME together. And we learned to TALK to each other.
And now, 20 years later, it entertains me when the Asst. Zookeeper and I are in a different room from the Heathens and I overhear one of them ask where we are. It cracks me up to hear one of them respond, "They're in the dining room. But don't go in because they are TALKING." This is said with the same inflection of voice as though we are doing something else. And the Asst. Zookeeper chuckles as well.
So, no, we have no plans for Valentine's Day. And we have no plans for my birthday, which is just a few days later. And I DO NOT feel slighted, or unloved, or un-valued. This is simply how we work.
And, because the Asst. Zookeeper just walked in the door from work, I'm finished for this round. Now, as we taught our Heathens when they were little: Go find something to do for awhile. We're talking.
It entertains me when people treat us as lepers because we don't have huge plans for the upcoming weekend. "What do you MEAN you aren't doing ANYTHING special?" Pair this shocked question with a horrified look on the face of the woman who was painting my nails. Sometimes, I'm then pitied as though I don't know how horrible my life is - I'm told that there is STILL TIME to make plans and I can still go shopping.
Occasionally, I feel the urge to lie to these people (acquaintances, friends, and even family) just to avoid the entire conversation. I look at it as being a lie of convenience. I don't have to be treated as though I'm abnormal. I don't feel the need to attempt and defend our decisions. And, yet, I continue to tell people:
No - we do not have holiday/birthday plans. No - we do not exchange gifts.
YES - we are happy.
And here is why we are happy. Almost 20 years ago, when the Zoo didn't yet exist, we were NOT the Head and Asst. Zookeeper. We were simply US - and we had no extra money. Buying gifts and going out for fancy dinners wasn't an option at that point. So we learned to spend TIME together. And we learned to TALK to each other.
And now, 20 years later, it entertains me when the Asst. Zookeeper and I are in a different room from the Heathens and I overhear one of them ask where we are. It cracks me up to hear one of them respond, "They're in the dining room. But don't go in because they are TALKING." This is said with the same inflection of voice as though we are doing something else. And the Asst. Zookeeper chuckles as well.
So, no, we have no plans for Valentine's Day. And we have no plans for my birthday, which is just a few days later. And I DO NOT feel slighted, or unloved, or un-valued. This is simply how we work.
And, because the Asst. Zookeeper just walked in the door from work, I'm finished for this round. Now, as we taught our Heathens when they were little: Go find something to do for awhile. We're talking.
Monday, January 25, 2016
The Difficult Part of the Season
The swimming season is starting to wind to an end - slowly. The swimmers will tell you that it lasts FOREVER. Most of the parents will agree. For those that swim for their local YMCAs, the season starts at the end of August and can run through March or April - depending on the quality of your swimmer.
Swimmer parents will all agree - January and the beginning of February are the seasons of burnout. Swimmers don't want to go to practice or another meet. Parents don't want to drive to another pool. Mothers weep at the idea of doing another load of towels. And the poor child that announces during this season that he has lost his goggles or ripped his cap is likely never to be heard from again. These children of the broken goggles don't "quit," they simply vanish. No one asks questions.
Chlorine has become so ingrained in the smell of my Heathens that I no longer notice it, and I find it rather insulting when strangers comment on my Heathen smelling like a pool. Considering what A LOT of teenage boys smell like, the public should be THANKFUL that mine smell of chlorine!
But we have reached the end of another era - Heathen #1 is finished with home swim meets. After years of being at the pool at UPJ for start practice, he won't be going there to compete any longer. Last week, the team held Senior Day - and the Asst. Zookeeper and I were lucky enough to escort our Heathen #1 around the pool deck. They even took nice photos of us (I haven't seen them). I just find it funny that this process takes place in the middle of the meet so that the kids are all soaking wet, and their hair is sticking up in all directions from pulling off their cap. Definitely, nice photos were taken.
It was a great meet for the Heathen. He managed to drop more time from his events. Although we could never tell him that he did well - he becomes complacent. He always needs another push to get him over the next hurdle in front of him. Maybe someday, we'll tell him that he swam a strong race - just not until after districts are over!
Heathen #1 is in Lane 3 with the red swim cap in all three videos. Enjoy!
Swimmer parents will all agree - January and the beginning of February are the seasons of burnout. Swimmers don't want to go to practice or another meet. Parents don't want to drive to another pool. Mothers weep at the idea of doing another load of towels. And the poor child that announces during this season that he has lost his goggles or ripped his cap is likely never to be heard from again. These children of the broken goggles don't "quit," they simply vanish. No one asks questions.
Chlorine has become so ingrained in the smell of my Heathens that I no longer notice it, and I find it rather insulting when strangers comment on my Heathen smelling like a pool. Considering what A LOT of teenage boys smell like, the public should be THANKFUL that mine smell of chlorine!
It was a great meet for the Heathen. He managed to drop more time from his events. Although we could never tell him that he did well - he becomes complacent. He always needs another push to get him over the next hurdle in front of him. Maybe someday, we'll tell him that he swam a strong race - just not until after districts are over!
Heathen #1 is in Lane 3 with the red swim cap in all three videos. Enjoy!
Thursday, January 7, 2016
2016 Brings HOPE
The first week of the New Year has come and gone - and there is still a Christmas tree in my living room, garlands on the stair banisters, and other miscellaneous holiday decorations gathering dust about the Zoo. At our front door, you will still be greeted by a wooden plaque that states "We Still Believe" - and we do.
But the glitter of the season has past. Visiting family has returned home. Presents have been opened, shared, and become part of the Zoo. Cookies have gone from "Don't eat those!" to "SOMEBODY EAT THESE!"
(I should clarify that statement: I don't bake. Bad things happen when I attempt to do so. The Asst. Zookeeper and the Heathens do all the baking at the Zoo.)
The calendar has flipped to January and the Heathens are back at school (other than the middle one that is currently ill).
This is the time of year that I start to panic. I'm a planner and a plotter, a list maker and a stacker of things that need done, taken care of, or dealt with in some manner. And at the beginning of the year, it dawns on me that it will be gone in a flash and I think of all that must be accomplished in the next 365 days - and I panic, because I can't possibly accomplish half of it, much less all.
However, this Sunday's comics made me laugh.
ONE EXTRA DAY! That's all I needed for this year to be successful. Just one day!
This comic strip is now on the refrigerator where I can see it every day. I guard my fridge space carefully as it is easy to lose things in clips and magnets - especially as I have Heathens that think EVERYTHING should be put there.
The Heathens have jokingly asked if I think one day is enough. My answer is, "I hope so."
Happy New Year from the Zoo.
But the glitter of the season has past. Visiting family has returned home. Presents have been opened, shared, and become part of the Zoo. Cookies have gone from "Don't eat those!" to "SOMEBODY EAT THESE!"
(I should clarify that statement: I don't bake. Bad things happen when I attempt to do so. The Asst. Zookeeper and the Heathens do all the baking at the Zoo.)
The calendar has flipped to January and the Heathens are back at school (other than the middle one that is currently ill).
This is the time of year that I start to panic. I'm a planner and a plotter, a list maker and a stacker of things that need done, taken care of, or dealt with in some manner. And at the beginning of the year, it dawns on me that it will be gone in a flash and I think of all that must be accomplished in the next 365 days - and I panic, because I can't possibly accomplish half of it, much less all.
However, this Sunday's comics made me laugh.
ONE EXTRA DAY! That's all I needed for this year to be successful. Just one day!
This comic strip is now on the refrigerator where I can see it every day. I guard my fridge space carefully as it is easy to lose things in clips and magnets - especially as I have Heathens that think EVERYTHING should be put there.
The Heathens have jokingly asked if I think one day is enough. My answer is, "I hope so."
Happy New Year from the Zoo.
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