Spider Web Stillness

My school year is complete - the finals have been given and graded, grades have been submitted, assessments have been tracked for the department and submitted, filing is done, and my "work bag" has been stowed away for the summer.  I LOVE my job as part-time faculty.  It allows me to have the best of both worlds - both as a working mother and a stay-at-home mother.

Sometimes though, it provides me with the WORST of both worlds.  

I have work deadlines that must be met, lessons to prep, tests to create and grade, etc - but I have to do all of it in three days a week.  And while I only work part-time, I still set high standards for myself concerning what takes place in my classroom.  And, the standards are never "part-time" standards.

The other two days a week, I'm at home.  And I feel as though the house should be clean, the dishes and laundry done and put away, and a meal on the table every night.  I should volunteer at the schools (there is currently a Heathen at all three school buildings: elementary, middle & high).  I should volunteer with outside groups.  After all - I don't "really" work.  Again, the standards I set are what creates my downfall.

Bless the Asst. Zookeeper's heart - if I had a penny for every time he has looked at me and told me to quit my job, or go back to work full-time, or go back to school, or whatever I need to hear on that particular day.  This man's support has always been unfailing - which sometimes makes me feel even guiltier when I feel that I have failed in some way.  But his support is the rock upon which my world is built.  When I count my blessings, the Asst. Zookeeper is at the top of the list.

This morning, as the Heathens were getting ready for school, nothing seemed to go the way I planned.  Two Heathens were very slow getting out of bed.  The third Heathen had a headache and I had used the last of the Tylenol myself just last night.  I had (a lot of) cheese quesadillas to make for Teacher Appreciation Day at the middle school that had to be delivered by 10am.  

And in the middle of this whirlwind, the college called.  When I was my final grades, I didn't click through all of the pages so that the grades were saved to the system for the registrar.  The woman on the other end told me (unhappily - but understandably) that my grades not being submitted was holding up the entire process of figuring out who was eligible for graduation.  Ugh - I've used the system for years and never screwed it up yet.  But, today was the day.  And everyone was waiting on ME to do my job correctly.  I promised her I would re-enter the grades as soon as my Heathens were out the door for school.

Heathen #2 left first - and reminded me on the way out the door that he needed lunch money (which I promised to drop off at the school with the quesadillas).  Heathen #1 left second and he had everything he needed for the last track meet of the season.  By the time, Heathen #3 and I headed out the door for the bus, I was ready to panic because I had screwed up at work and I still had quesadillas that needed delivered on time.

And the bus was fifteen minutes late picking up the Heathen.  At the 10 minute late mark, I was dancing from foot to foot.  But then, Heathen #3 did something - and it changed my day.

Heathen #3's spiderweb and the fog coming in off the field.

He looked at me and asked if I noticed the fog coming into the yard from the field behind us and did I hear the geese honking as they flew overhead?  How could they fly in the fog and know where they were going?  And did I see that the dew on the lilies growing at the end of the driveway?  Doesn't it look like frost, even though it isn't?  And did I see the really cool spiderweb on the shrub behind me?  Where was the spider?  Where does it go when you can't see it?  And look at the big black ant over here?  Why is there only one ant?  Shouldn't there be more?

These are the eyes that still notice all the little things around him - even as he gets closer and closer to his tenth birthday.

He's worried that someday his blue eyes will change to another
color - as the other Heathens' eyes are green and brown.

Heathen #3 is an inquisitive little thing - although, not necessarily little anymore.  He only seems little in comparison to the sizes of the other Heathens.  But he forced me to stop and look around me as we stood at the end of the driveway.  And he forced me to notice things I would otherwise have simply overlooked - these things were not on the "to do" list running through my head in a loop.  And with his stream of questions, he forced me to respond and participate and think of the everyday things around me.

He forced me to stop and breathe and look around.

After he boarded the bus, I made a point of walking slowly back up our driveway.  The goats were bleating for attention, so I stopped in their pen and scratched their little round bellies.  Then I meandered my way back inside and got a new cup of coffee.  And I took five minutes to sit and drink it in a quiet living room while I watched the fog burn off the field behind us.

Only then did I re-enter the grades (it took all of 5 minutes).  And I finished the quesadillas and took them to the school (took less than 30 minutes).  Everything I was in a panic about finishing and getting done was completed quickly.

But it was completed more quickly and with a lot less stress that it would have been, if Heathen #3 hadn't forced me to slow down and look around with a bit of wonder while we waited for the bus.

Well done, Heathen.  Momma needed the reminder today.  Keep looking around you with those blue eyes.  I'm betting they will stay blue - but I'll love them (and the Heathen to whom they belong) regardless.

Take the Heathens to Work Day

Heathen #3 had a grand adventure for Takw Your Child To Work Day. And, as I was making the arrangements for that trip, I knew the other Heathens needed something for that day as well. Only, the Zoo has an employment issue. 

None of the Heathens want to be a teacher/professor (what I do) and because they are students, they already have a pretty good idea of what happens all day.  

While the Heathens would probably be fascinated by the prospect of a trip underground with the Asst. Zookeeper, laws and regulations forbid it. No pretending to be the chief electrician at a coal mine - even if you stay above ground all day. 

Two parents = two strike outs. 

And I'm okay with the fact that my Heathens will probably never "follow in my footsteps" when it comes to choosing an occupation. Because I am ME and they are all very separate, and different HEATHENS. 

Heathen #1, at the age of 17 and at the end of his junior year is currently looking at a machinist apprenticeship program. He attended the open house offered several months ago and came home very intrigued. I kept the paperwork and pulled it out a few weeks ago. 

With a few phones calls, I was able to set up a job shadowing for the eldest Heathen on April 23rd. While I was in New York, I received the following texts:

With me in NYC, the eldest Heathen had to get himself up and go location prior to 7am. When I called him at 6:30, he was already at Sheetz getting breakfast and excited to be on his way. 

Needless to say, the Heathen came home from a great experience and learned so much. Thank you, to JWF Industries and Mr. Rob Pytash for all your efforts on behalf of my Heathen. 

Heathen #2 was bitten by the technology bug a few years ago, thanks to the schools Technology Club, run by Mrs. McCreary. Luckily, the Asst. Zookeeper and I are friends with the CEO of Prime Design Solutions. After exchanging a few emails, Heathen #2 was cleared to spend the day at the office, working on graphic design and layout, marketing, etc. 

This Heathen sent me text updates as well!  Read on:

Later that day, this was posted to the company's Facebook page:

As this Heathen is still too young to drive (and I was out of town), my parents willingly transported the middle Heathen both directions - his grandfather picked him up at the Zoo at 7:30 and took him to breakfast. His grandmother picked him up at the end of his work day and took him home. I couldn't have managed it without the transport help. Thank you, Granddad and Grammy B!

The Heathen came home happily babbling about everything he had gotten to do that day. Another success!! Thank you to Mr. Brian Law and the rest of the staff at Prime Design Solutions for sharing your work day with my Heathen. 

April 23, 2015 was an ASTOUNDINGLY successful day in the life of the Zoo.  Not only did all three Heathens gain valuable experience and knowledge, but we experienced others being willing to step in and share an experience with my Heathens. Not that the Asst. Zookeeper and I needed any proof that we made the right choice for our Heathens by living here, but our Heathens experienced and witnessed the value of family, friends, and community. Thank you to all for April 23rd!

Determination and a Barrel Horse Goal

Heathen #2 is probably the most like me.  And I'm well aware of that fact.  And I know it is most likely the reason that he and I drive each other crazy - we've even talked about it.  It is something that we are working on improving so that we can both survive his teenage years successfully.

MONTHS ago (September 2014), after watching the barrel racing at the county fair, Heathen #2 decided he wanted to race a barrel horse.  Although we have horses here at the Zoo, none of them are suited for this (whether by age or temperament).

Heathen #2 riding Ariat.

And, I will admit, I wasn't a lot of help.  This was something that I had no clue about.  Not only had I never done this, I didn't even know anyone who had that I could use as a starting point.  I will admit that I kept pushing "find stables with barrel riding lessons" to the bottom of my TO DO LIST.

So Heathen #2 took care of it himself.  He located a set of stables and made friends.  He made arrangements on his own for when he could go (all we had to do was drive the car).  He made arrangements for ordering the tack he needed to ride and paid for it himself.  He brought home the list of Silver Shoe competition dates and put it on the refrigerator.

Yesterday morning (Sunday), my Heathen got out of bed at 4am.  On his own.  I could hear him upstairs moving around and getting dressed.  At 4:15, he stuck his head in my bedroom door and asked if I was up - he was to be at the barn at 5:30 am, and we had a 45 minute drive (minimum) to get him there.  He was practically vibrating with excitement.  It was worth getting up at that hour just to see him.

I've seen my Heathen ride the horses we have here at the Zoo - and he does very well with them.  Better than the rest of us, as a matter of fact.  But yesterday, I saw my Heathen really RIDE for the first time.  And the Asst. Zookeeper and I watched with pride.

It was his first competition EVER.  And, because of the distance to the stables, he doesn't get there nearly as often as he would like.  But he LEARNED what he wanted to learn.  He DID wanted he wanted to do.  He RODE a barrel horse in competition.   And the Asst. Zookeeper and I couldn't have been prouder of him.

As first time "show parents," the Asst. Zookeeper and I had no idea what to expect.  But we learned a lot as well, watching the kids ride.

At 10 pm, the Asst. Zookeeper and I made the 45 minute drive back out to the stables to pick up a very tired Heathen - the horses all had to be returned to the barn and the tack unloaded.  We pulled back into the Zoo somewhere between 11:30 and midnight.

Heathen #2 has had difficulty sleeping in a car since he was probably two or three.  The motion keeps him awake.  However, this is what we found when we looked behind us in the car:

Exhausted, with a saddle for a pillow.

This morning, Heathen #2 had a hard time crawling out of bed.  He is exhausted.  But he never asked to stay home from school.  He's sore and stiff and he has some bruises from yesterday.  After taking some Tylenol, I sent him back up to lay down for another 30 minutes and told him I would drive him to school.

He's going to have a long, tough day.  But, he set a goal for himself.  And, he accomplished it.  He's already looking forward to the competition next month.  The determination and dedication in Heathen #2, while frustrating on occasion, are also some of his greatest assets and will serve him well in the future.

Well done, Heathen.  You did SO WELL.

Ms. Jolene Watt, her daughters (Gabby & Billy Jo), and everyone else at Oak Street Stables - thank you.  You taught my Heathen something that I could not.  For that, I am always grateful.  While we encourage the Heathens to be willing to try ANYTHING, this is something that the Asst. Zookeeper and I couldn't have supported on our own.  Thank you.

Nerds Take New York!

My Heathen #3 is a nerd - he loves school and everything about it.  The social aspect.  The bus ride.  The cycle classes.  The teachers.  And, the learning - he LOVES to learn new things.  Learning is a challenge this Heathen accepts with open arms and then asks, "Isn't there more?"

Many days ago, I wrote a post about my little "quarter-circle nerd."  The conversation that I documented, I also shared with my father in a phone conversation - who then shared it with my younger brother.

My younger brother was a "quarter-circle nerd" as well, and I love him dearly.  He and my youngest Heathen remind me so much of each other that I occasionally use my brother's name when talking to Heathen #3.

Approximately three weeks ago, I received an email from my brother:

Yo Danners,

Awhile back Dad mentioned Landon saying he was disinterested in something because other kids thought it was nerdy.  I’d be happy to bring Landon to Two Sigma for Take Your Kid To Work day on 4/23 so he can see what grown-up-and-nerdy is like.

You two could come in the day before.  I’d take Landon to work for the event and you’d have a day in Manhattan to yourself.  I fly out for Austin on Friday after work but you two would be welcome to stick around into the weekend if you like.   Should be able to fit everyone at my apartment so the only expense would be transportation to/from the city.

Let me know either way,

Rhys

My younger brother doesn't know it, but he made me cry that day.  It had been a difficult "mom" day with the Heathens, and then I opened this email.  I have the BEST younger brother - have I mentioned that?

I immediately accepted the invitation - what an ADVENTURE it would be for Heathen #3.  The older Heathens had each gotten to go on an adventure trip with me and without any siblings.  This was PERFECT for the littlest Heathen.

The Asst. Zookeeper made my travel arrangements.  He truly is the best travel agent to have on hand!  Plans were made.  Arrangements were made for the Zoo to run smoothly in my absence.  Bags were packed.  And the adventure began!

We took Amtrak from the Johnstown station to Penn Station in New York - it was perfect.  The train, and its dining car, were popular with the littlest Heathen.

Waiting for our train to arrive at the Johnstown station.

Finally!  All aboard!

Breakfast on the rails.

Comfortable for 7.5 hours - not a single complaint!

 Once we arrived in Penn Station, my brother met us.  After stopping at his apartment to drop off our backpacks, we headed for Central Park to exercise the Heathen.  Anyone who owns a Heathen knows that it is like owning a dog - exercise after a long period of little physical movement is REQUIRED.

Heathen #3 spent more than an hour running through the park and climbing up and down the biggest rocks he could locate.

Central Park, New York

After feeding and ablutions, the Heathen was exhausted and fell asleep with no difficulty, despite the excitement of the upcoming day.

The "boys" headed out the door at 8am.  And the trip to work required another trip on the subway (always a hit with the Heathen when we go to New York).  After the required "mom" speech (behave, be polite, BEHAVE), I sent them out the door!

My two FAVORITE quarter-circle nerds.

How I spent my day is NOT important.  I will admit that a lot of it was thinking about what was happening with the boys and really hoping that everything was going well.

I met them in the building lobby at 5 pm, and Heathen #3 was BUBBLING with his adventures and what he had done.  He had gotten a t-shirt.  And had a group leader.  And they fed him breakfast AND lunch.  And they built a robot. And. And. And.  

SUCCESS.

Heathen #3 talked the entire time we walked to the Staten Island Ferry.  I wanted him to do something "New Yorky" that evening that the other Heathens had not done.  And his uncle planned well.  Riding the Ferry was a new experience and gave the Heathen the closest look he's ever had at the Statue of Liberty.

We took this photo on the way back to New York on the State
Island Ferry.  That's the Statue of Liberty over his shoulder.

Again, it was dinner, ablutions, and then crashed into bed.  The Heathen was exhausted, but happy - which is all that mattered.

Friday morning, my brother headed off to work before we had to catch the train home.  While it was a short visit, and he spent most of the time with my Heathen, it meant the world to me.  Someday, I hope to be able to return the favor in some manner.

Heathen #3 and I headed out and found a little restaurant for breakfast, then took the Subway to Penn Station.  

Penn Station and waiting for the track number
to appear on the board for our train,
the Pennsylvanian.

Heathen #3 made sure he could wear his new t-shirt to school today.  He had an adventure that he will NEVER forget.  And, I hope, he feels a little more comfortable as a "quarter-circle nerd."  He has a great future ahead of him, wherever he goes.

And, to my younger brother - thank you.  Helping my littlest Heathen be more comfortable in his own skin is one of the greatest gifts you could have ever given me.  Thank you.

Third Place Proud

I'll admit that I have an occasional addiction. My addiction level changes. Sometimes, I don't see my "dealer" for weeks (occasionally months). Other times, my "dealer" and I interact daily.

And I've been working at getting my Heathens hooked up with my "dealer" as well, to varying degrees of success. 

Hello, my name is Momma. And I'm a runner. And I'm pushing running on my Heathens at every opportunity I can.  And I have the full support of the Asst. Zookeeper in this endeavor. 

Heathen #2's FIRST award in running!

While my Heathens are not completely ungraceful, none of them are sprinters and I wasn't either. We are the people who are barely out of breath long after the sprinters are finished. 

Today, the Heathens were all registered for a 5K Run/Walk - as runners. We went as a family.  It's exciting and they always leave feeling they have accomplished something valuable. 

Heathen #1, who been up all night with scouts, made one mile and crawled himself to the sidelines. I wasn't surprised. While he does well with water, land kills him.  They are opposing forces. Despite his willingness to go, he has yet to cross the finish line unless it is a "fun run" that involves colored powder, down, mud, or some other element to distract him from the actual distance he is covering. 

Heathen #3 ran with us as long as his little 9.5 year old legs could go, then walked. He knew that I would continue to pass him (loop shaped course) and that as soon as I finished the race, I would find him and we would finish his race together. 

Heathen #2 is my running buddy. I let him set the pace and stayed behind him. I'll admit that, having not seen my "dealer" lately, the pace he set was a good one and I struggled to keep up with him. 

He would get a head of me and then I'd catch up because he needed to walk and catch his breath - but I never passed him the entire race.  I did a lot of loud encouragement from behind him. Not sure whether it was helpful or embarrassing - but he never told me to be quiet, so we'll go with a positive impression. 

As he rounded the last corner ahead of me, I saw him start to push hard. He was across the finish line before I even made it to the corner. He finished with a time of 28:52. Excellent for someone who does no distance running on a regular basis!

Once he went through the finishers' shoot, he was waiting to cheer me on to my own finish. And then continued to cheer on strangers. I smiled with a bit of pride 

Doubling back through the course, I located Heathen #3 at the two mile mark and we finished his last mile together. It was mostly walking but I got him to run between a set of light posts and then walk the next set, alternating. And he ran the last 100 yards (which was on an incline) to put himself through the finishers' shoot. And Heathens #1 and #2 were both cheering for him as he crossed the line. I looked at the clock as it ticked and told him to run, he wanted to cross before it changed to 52 minutes. He crossed at 51:58 - and I saw how hard he pushed to do it. Again, a grin of pride crossed my face. 

In their age group, Heathens #2 and #3 finished third and sixth, respectively. I managed third in my age group as well. 

Accepting his ribbon!

The Heathens did so well this morning. I was thrilled for everyone. We returned to the car tired but happy and feeling accomplished.  

After stopping on the way home to run a few errands, the younger two Heathens came to find me. "Can we take the dogs for a walk with you?"  We have three dogs and typically each take one. And we walk a 2.2 mile loop. 

Sure, Heathens. Get the leashes and let's go. We haven't had enough exercise yet today. And out the door we went!

Quarter-Circle Nerd

Yesterday, I wrote a post about my middle Heathen - that didn't paint either of us in a very pleasant light. We were both moody and miserable until the very end.  It reminded me of a conversation I had with the youngest Heathen a few weeks ago.

The littlest Heathen is a smart cookie and he is curiosity with feet and almost constant access to Google.  I think his current favorite phrase at the moment is, "I don't know. Hang on, I'll Google it."

Unfortunately, he doesn't always have the best social skills when it comes to keeping his intelligence from annoying certain people at school - and he's come home quite upset several times because he's been dubbed a NERD. In fourth grade, this is heavy stuff and not to be taken lightly. 

So I showed him two pictures. This is the first one. :

And I asked him if it would be very fun to play with for very long?  He said no, it doesn't do much. All the pegs are the same and they won't even go the whole way through because the floor gets in their way. I asked him what would it be like if people were like these pegs - we might be different colors and look different, but what if we were all good at the same things? He decided that was be boring, too. 

I told him that school kids - clear up through high school want everyone to be the same. To be just like them, because it helps them feel safe as part of the group. 

Then, I showed him this picture:

I told him this is our Zoo. None of us are the same. But we all have our shape and place as part of the group. I asked him to pick shapes that might describe his brothers. 

He picked the six-sided hexagon for Heathen #1 "because it looks like a gear and he likes to make things work and fix things." I agreed it was an accurate choice (and description).

He picked the heart shape for Heathen #2 "because when he cares about something, he's completely committed to it. And he's really loyal and cares about a lot of things, and that takes a big heart." Again, I agreed completely (and tried not to sniffle too loudly).

I asked him for a shape for me. And he quickly announced that I was the plus sign because I taught math. No surprises there!

What about for the Asst. Zookeeper? "What shape would Daddy be?" I asked.

He wasn't sure if the Asst. Zookeeper should be the star, since he loves to fly airplanes, or if he should be the trapezoid, because it reminded him of a tent and Daddy loves to do anything outdoors.  We decided that both would work, depending on the day and what Daddy chooses to do.

Then I asked him to pick a shape for himself. And he paused for a long time and started at the picture and I could see the wheels turning as he thought them all through as possibilities. 

He said, "I don't know what shape I am."  

And I asked him if he could only be one shape? If the Asst. Zookeeper could be either of two, couldn't he be more than one shape as well? Couldn't he be one shape on one day, then be another shape another day?  He still fit in the "family" regardless of what shape he was. 

But, I told him I was pretty sure he was our quarter-circle shape. Because it had the ability to rock on one side, or sit strongly on another. It could be part of a bigger circle or it could stand alone.  It looked like a nerd shape to me. And he grinned. "None of the other pieces can roll AND stand."

That's my nerd - figured it out that quickly. 

To my nerd Heathen (and his Heathen brothers): whatever shape you are, you will always have a place at the Zoo. You might have struggle at school or out in the "big world" to find your nitch, your slot, your opening that fits your perfectly. But you will find it. You may have to change shapes several times to find the correct one. 

Until then, keep trying on shapes, see what fits YOU the best and which makes you happy. 

There is a slot at the Zoo for any shape you choose to become.  

Tea Kettle to Progress

I've never been one to advocate screaming at children. However, I do believe that you need to raise your voice occasionally to be heard.  

Puberty and being a teen has hit our middle Heathen with the subtilty of a shovel, or maybe a 2x4. Whatever your metaphor is for "suddenly and painfully," that's how it has arrived. And it hasn't been pleasant for anyone involved. 

We've gone the "patience" route. We've given him "space."  We've given him "choices" in whether he spends time with us when his attendance is not required. We've "ignored" some behaviors in the hopes that they would disappear when they didn't get the desired reaction. As of Wednesday night, I had run out of options that I've learned over the years in working with teenagers, or in any of the psych classes I've taken. The reservoir of strategies was not only empty, but it had a dry bottom. 

Wednesday evening, after spending an hour and half straight of listening to him complain about every living thing under the sun, I escaped and went on a four mile run. It was silent bliss. 

I knew the Heathens were hungry and I decided to stop at Subway. I called the house to verify every one's standard order. Heathen #2 often thinks we choose to eat out deliberately on occasions that he chooses not to join us - I was thinking I was going to take home a sandwich and he would feel at least slightly loved and less like a miserable teenager.  

That was my "unicorn" and I was going to capture it. The sandwich I had in the car was magical. The night would be salvaged by it - the poor sandwich had no idea the expectations that I placed upon it. 

I almost made it into the house with the sandwiches for everyone before he started to complain about something new. And his favorite words to use in his complaining are "always" and "never."  Shoots my blood pressure sky high. 

And I lost it. I turned into the whistling kettle that no one will take off the burner. It just keeps going whistling. 

I stood in my kitchen and yelled at him about being so miserable to be around and that he was driving me crazy. I yelled that I realized that teenagers are supposed to be moody, but that wasn't the goal he should have set for himself. I yelled that it has been at least three days since I had heard him say anything nice to anyone, or even seen him smile. I yelled that I loved him to pieces but that I didn't want to spend time with him if all he was going to do was complain.  I repeated myself a lot because the frustration had finally reached the point of no return. 

Then I handed him his sandwich, told him to enjoy it and explained that I had specifically made a point of bringing him a sandwich in the hopes that I managed to do something right in his opinion.  That my whole goal for the sandwich was him to smile, say thank you, and enjoy his sandwich. 

Then I walked away and hid in my bedroom for 30 minutes, convinced that I had just ruined my teenager and he probably was plotting my demise.  But I knew I could not leave it like that. Neither of us could go to bed like that. I had to fix my screw-up to the best of my ability. So I tracked him through the house and found him in the living room picking at his sandwich. 

He was sitting in a chair and I sat on the floor in front of him, so that I had to look up at him. And I apologized for yelling. I told him that as an adult, I should have been able to explain the situation without yelling at him about it. Obviously, I still had flaws that I need to work on improving. 

But the yelling didn't change the fact that he'd been very unpleasant to be around lately.  He has to survive middle and high school before he can "escape" the small fish bowl where we live. And he can choose to look at the unhappy side of everything and complain constantly. Or he can choose to look at the happy side and be happier. Because, more than anything, I want to see him happy again and to hear him laugh. He has the best laugh.  And I love hearing him laugh. 

So we made a deal. I am going to work on not yelling when I get frustrated with him. Adults don't yell at each other in our Zoo and he is turning into a young adult. He is going to work on not complaining. 

Today, Heathen #2's plans did not go according to the master schedule in his head. And I admit to starting to panic because I knew there was a temper tantrum coming and I just didn't want to deal with it.  

Instead, Heathen #2 stood in the kitchen in front of me and took a big breath and let it out. And then dealt with the situation like a rational adult - calm and cool and collected. 

I told him how well he handled the situation and how proud I was of him. And while I was sorry his plans hadn't worked out, in a way, I was thrilled the plans had gone poorly just so that I got the chance to see him handle it so well. I was so proud I was trying not to cry. 

He asked if it was okay that he was angry and wanted to scream because he was so frustrated. And I said of course! You're still human. You'll still get upset. It's all in how you deal with it. And he asked for a hug. And he got one. And I needed that hug at least as much (if not more) than he did. 

So, maybe the yelling was needed to get his attention the night before. Maybe the conversation afterward would have been enough. Whichever, he chose to be happier today and I saw him smile. I saw him get along with both of the other Heathens. I'll take the calm for as long as it lasts. But he gained a small bit of maturity today. We'll take it and keep moving forward.  Well done today, Heathen. Well done.