The Asst. Zookeeper and I have never been ones to exchange gifts. We watch other couples worry about the "perfect gift" for Christmas, birthdays - and now Valentine's Day is just around the corner.
It entertains me when people treat us as lepers because we don't have huge plans for the upcoming weekend. "What do you MEAN you aren't doing ANYTHING special?" Pair this shocked question with a horrified look on the face of the woman who was painting my nails. Sometimes, I'm then pitied as though I don't know how horrible my life is - I'm told that there is STILL TIME to make plans and I can still go shopping.
Occasionally, I feel the urge to lie to these people (acquaintances, friends, and even family) just to avoid the entire conversation. I look at it as being a lie of convenience. I don't have to be treated as though I'm abnormal. I don't feel the need to attempt and defend our decisions. And, yet, I continue to tell people:
No - we do not have holiday/birthday plans. No - we do not exchange gifts.
YES - we are happy.
And here is why we are happy. Almost 20 years ago, when the Zoo didn't yet exist, we were NOT the Head and Asst. Zookeeper. We were simply US - and we had no extra money. Buying gifts and going out for fancy dinners wasn't an option at that point. So we learned to spend TIME together. And we learned to TALK to each other.
And now, 20 years later, it entertains me when the Asst. Zookeeper and I are in a different room from the Heathens and I overhear one of them ask where we are. It cracks me up to hear one of them respond, "They're in the dining room. But don't go in because they are TALKING." This is said with the same inflection of voice as though we are doing something else. And the Asst. Zookeeper chuckles as well.
So, no, we have no plans for Valentine's Day. And we have no plans for my birthday, which is just a few days later. And I DO NOT feel slighted, or unloved, or un-valued. This is simply how we work.
And, because the Asst. Zookeeper just walked in the door from work, I'm finished for this round. Now, as we taught our Heathens when they were little: Go find something to do for awhile. We're talking.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
The Difficult Part of the Season
The swimming season is starting to wind to an end - slowly. The swimmers will tell you that it lasts FOREVER. Most of the parents will agree. For those that swim for their local YMCAs, the season starts at the end of August and can run through March or April - depending on the quality of your swimmer.
Swimmer parents will all agree - January and the beginning of February are the seasons of burnout. Swimmers don't want to go to practice or another meet. Parents don't want to drive to another pool. Mothers weep at the idea of doing another load of towels. And the poor child that announces during this season that he has lost his goggles or ripped his cap is likely never to be heard from again. These children of the broken goggles don't "quit," they simply vanish. No one asks questions.
Chlorine has become so ingrained in the smell of my Heathens that I no longer notice it, and I find it rather insulting when strangers comment on my Heathen smelling like a pool. Considering what A LOT of teenage boys smell like, the public should be THANKFUL that mine smell of chlorine!
But we have reached the end of another era - Heathen #1 is finished with home swim meets. After years of being at the pool at UPJ for start practice, he won't be going there to compete any longer. Last week, the team held Senior Day - and the Asst. Zookeeper and I were lucky enough to escort our Heathen #1 around the pool deck. They even took nice photos of us (I haven't seen them). I just find it funny that this process takes place in the middle of the meet so that the kids are all soaking wet, and their hair is sticking up in all directions from pulling off their cap. Definitely, nice photos were taken.
It was a great meet for the Heathen. He managed to drop more time from his events. Although we could never tell him that he did well - he becomes complacent. He always needs another push to get him over the next hurdle in front of him. Maybe someday, we'll tell him that he swam a strong race - just not until after districts are over!
Heathen #1 is in Lane 3 with the red swim cap in all three videos. Enjoy!
Swimmer parents will all agree - January and the beginning of February are the seasons of burnout. Swimmers don't want to go to practice or another meet. Parents don't want to drive to another pool. Mothers weep at the idea of doing another load of towels. And the poor child that announces during this season that he has lost his goggles or ripped his cap is likely never to be heard from again. These children of the broken goggles don't "quit," they simply vanish. No one asks questions.
Chlorine has become so ingrained in the smell of my Heathens that I no longer notice it, and I find it rather insulting when strangers comment on my Heathen smelling like a pool. Considering what A LOT of teenage boys smell like, the public should be THANKFUL that mine smell of chlorine!
It was a great meet for the Heathen. He managed to drop more time from his events. Although we could never tell him that he did well - he becomes complacent. He always needs another push to get him over the next hurdle in front of him. Maybe someday, we'll tell him that he swam a strong race - just not until after districts are over!
Heathen #1 is in Lane 3 with the red swim cap in all three videos. Enjoy!
Thursday, January 7, 2016
2016 Brings HOPE
The first week of the New Year has come and gone - and there is still a Christmas tree in my living room, garlands on the stair banisters, and other miscellaneous holiday decorations gathering dust about the Zoo. At our front door, you will still be greeted by a wooden plaque that states "We Still Believe" - and we do.
But the glitter of the season has past. Visiting family has returned home. Presents have been opened, shared, and become part of the Zoo. Cookies have gone from "Don't eat those!" to "SOMEBODY EAT THESE!"
(I should clarify that statement: I don't bake. Bad things happen when I attempt to do so. The Asst. Zookeeper and the Heathens do all the baking at the Zoo.)
The calendar has flipped to January and the Heathens are back at school (other than the middle one that is currently ill).
This is the time of year that I start to panic. I'm a planner and a plotter, a list maker and a stacker of things that need done, taken care of, or dealt with in some manner. And at the beginning of the year, it dawns on me that it will be gone in a flash and I think of all that must be accomplished in the next 365 days - and I panic, because I can't possibly accomplish half of it, much less all.
However, this Sunday's comics made me laugh.
ONE EXTRA DAY! That's all I needed for this year to be successful. Just one day!
This comic strip is now on the refrigerator where I can see it every day. I guard my fridge space carefully as it is easy to lose things in clips and magnets - especially as I have Heathens that think EVERYTHING should be put there.
The Heathens have jokingly asked if I think one day is enough. My answer is, "I hope so."
Happy New Year from the Zoo.
But the glitter of the season has past. Visiting family has returned home. Presents have been opened, shared, and become part of the Zoo. Cookies have gone from "Don't eat those!" to "SOMEBODY EAT THESE!"
(I should clarify that statement: I don't bake. Bad things happen when I attempt to do so. The Asst. Zookeeper and the Heathens do all the baking at the Zoo.)
The calendar has flipped to January and the Heathens are back at school (other than the middle one that is currently ill).
This is the time of year that I start to panic. I'm a planner and a plotter, a list maker and a stacker of things that need done, taken care of, or dealt with in some manner. And at the beginning of the year, it dawns on me that it will be gone in a flash and I think of all that must be accomplished in the next 365 days - and I panic, because I can't possibly accomplish half of it, much less all.
However, this Sunday's comics made me laugh.
ONE EXTRA DAY! That's all I needed for this year to be successful. Just one day!
This comic strip is now on the refrigerator where I can see it every day. I guard my fridge space carefully as it is easy to lose things in clips and magnets - especially as I have Heathens that think EVERYTHING should be put there.
The Heathens have jokingly asked if I think one day is enough. My answer is, "I hope so."
Happy New Year from the Zoo.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Photo Montage
Years ago, I gave up on posed, professional Christmas pictures of the Heathens. While some families can make that work, our Zoo is not one of them. Occasionally we have managed a good one. However, they rarely capture what are truly my Heathens' personalities.
I changed to using snapshots of them several years ago. Not only is it more fun, but I get laughs and "I LOVED your Christmas card photo" instead of "they looked so nice."
This year, I started to run out of time and realized I still had not sent out Christmas cards. Which meant loading the Heathens into a car, driving to a local location that was "Heathenish" to me, unloading Heathens, and giving instructions.
My instructions were: Go stand on that rock and do something.
Here's what I got in response:
Amazingly, no one ended up in the water or actually got pushed off the rock. No one was hurt and there was neither tears nor blood - TOTAL SUCCESS!
I changed to using snapshots of them several years ago. Not only is it more fun, but I get laughs and "I LOVED your Christmas card photo" instead of "they looked so nice."
This year, I started to run out of time and realized I still had not sent out Christmas cards. Which meant loading the Heathens into a car, driving to a local location that was "Heathenish" to me, unloading Heathens, and giving instructions.
My instructions were: Go stand on that rock and do something.
Here's what I got in response:
Although it didn't make the card, this last one is my favorite. Not only are they all together, but they are STILL (not a common occurrence!).
Merry Christmas from the Zoo. We hope your holidays are everything you want them to be.
Monday, December 21, 2015
Rogue Sheep & Grumpy Angels
Christmas nativity plays are one of my FAVORITE parts of Christmas. I've heard people groan about it being the "same story" every year (of COURSE it is - so is Fiddler On The Roof!). But every group does it a little differently, and I love watching the children age up through the roles.
Many, many years ago, Heathen #1 was a sheep. His first year in the nativity play, Heathen #2 was too small to participate and Heathen #3 didn't even exist! And I remember being mortified when MY SHEEP was the one that wouldn't stand where he was supposed to stand. He was quiet (a small blessing, I thought at the time), but he meandered around the sanctuary and inspected decorations. When it was time to walk to the front with the other children, he flatly refused. During the song he was to sing with the other children, his lips were clenched tightly closed.
Ready to cry in my pew as I juggled a very small Heathen #2, all I wanted to do was snatch up my older child and run from the building. But as I glanced around for the glares I knew I was receiving, I was shocked to see people giggling and pointing and smiling.
No one in that sanctuary cared about Heathen #1's misbehavior - except the Asst. Zookeeper and me.
I remember the following year being a little better and Heathen #1 a bit more cooperative. Then Heathen #2 was old enough to be a sheep and Heathen #1 graduated to shepherd - I spent most of that year threatening Heathen #1 what I was going to do if he hooked his brother around the neck with his shepherd's crook one more time. Turned out, that shepherd's crook was the only reason Heathen #2 didn't wander about. And the congregation smiled and pointed.
The year that the older two Heathens were BOTH shepherds was the year of the battle of the shepherds' crooks - no injuries to report! We used plastic, hollow crooks which couldn't do much damage. Despite the Star Wars light-saber type battle in the background of the nativity scene - the congregation was still smiling and pointing. And telling me at the end of service about how much they loved the "spunk" in my Heathens.
Heathen #3 made his own debut as a sheep and a shepherd when he was old enough. I had a bit better behavior from the Heathens at that point because I was running the play for several years and could provide "momma looks" when needed during practice. But, there were the typical small Heathen antics from that child as well.
As the Heathens have aged through the roles of sheep, shepherd, the wise men, the angel Gabriel, and Joseph, and finally to narrator and stage crew, the Heathens have learned their roles - as well as the story in a way that many adults don't.
This year, the oldest two Heathens were originally on stage crew. However, Heathen #1 was quickly placed on "rogue sheep & angel" duty - trying to keep three small children from escaping the back of the narthex in an attempt to get to the nursery that holds the toys. By the end of the play, he was exhausted - and I was laughing!
Now as we walk into these nativity plays, we try to guess which of the children will be the rogue sheep or the grumpy angel that won't cooperate - and we look forward to seeing them. This year, we had both! And the Asst. Zookeeper and I were thrilled to see them - not only are they adorably cute, but they remind us of the years that it was our Heathens in those roles.
The youngest Heathen played Joseph this year - and took his role quite seriously. He did a wonderful job. All of the children did a wonderful job.
But next Christmas, the Asst. Zookeeper and I will still be laying bets on which will be the rogue sheep or the next grumpy angel. It isn't a true Christmas nativity play without them.
Ready to cry in my pew as I juggled a very small Heathen #2, all I wanted to do was snatch up my older child and run from the building. But as I glanced around for the glares I knew I was receiving, I was shocked to see people giggling and pointing and smiling.
No one in that sanctuary cared about Heathen #1's misbehavior - except the Asst. Zookeeper and me.
I remember the following year being a little better and Heathen #1 a bit more cooperative. Then Heathen #2 was old enough to be a sheep and Heathen #1 graduated to shepherd - I spent most of that year threatening Heathen #1 what I was going to do if he hooked his brother around the neck with his shepherd's crook one more time. Turned out, that shepherd's crook was the only reason Heathen #2 didn't wander about. And the congregation smiled and pointed.
The year that the older two Heathens were BOTH shepherds was the year of the battle of the shepherds' crooks - no injuries to report! We used plastic, hollow crooks which couldn't do much damage. Despite the Star Wars light-saber type battle in the background of the nativity scene - the congregation was still smiling and pointing. And telling me at the end of service about how much they loved the "spunk" in my Heathens.
Heathen #3 made his own debut as a sheep and a shepherd when he was old enough. I had a bit better behavior from the Heathens at that point because I was running the play for several years and could provide "momma looks" when needed during practice. But, there were the typical small Heathen antics from that child as well.
As the Heathens have aged through the roles of sheep, shepherd, the wise men, the angel Gabriel, and Joseph, and finally to narrator and stage crew, the Heathens have learned their roles - as well as the story in a way that many adults don't.
This year, the oldest two Heathens were originally on stage crew. However, Heathen #1 was quickly placed on "rogue sheep & angel" duty - trying to keep three small children from escaping the back of the narthex in an attempt to get to the nursery that holds the toys. By the end of the play, he was exhausted - and I was laughing!
Now as we walk into these nativity plays, we try to guess which of the children will be the rogue sheep or the grumpy angel that won't cooperate - and we look forward to seeing them. This year, we had both! And the Asst. Zookeeper and I were thrilled to see them - not only are they adorably cute, but they remind us of the years that it was our Heathens in those roles.
 |
| Joseph |
 |
| Speaking with the angel, Gabriel |
 |
| Grumpy Angel - 2015 |
 |
| She stood where she was supposed to stand. Then she SAT DOWN and was swinging her feet. Definitely our favorite part of this year's nativity play! |
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Be Polite To The Dust Bunnies - They Live Here
Dear Zoo,
I know that you currently feel unloved and unappreciated considering your current state of dishevelment. Please know that it is not that I don't care for you. I just have had to choose between upkeep and Heathens. Unfortunately for you, the Heathens have won.
The semester is almost at an end and I will have a chance to get you "caught up" and clean. Discarded objects will no longer clutter every horizontal surface. Dishes will no longer be stacked on the counter. Floors will be vacuumed and shelves will be dusted. Laundry will be gathered up and the floor will no longer be home to randomly discarded socks and shoes.
Belongings will get tidied up and put back in their places. Papers will be organized and filed away or discarded - not placed in stacks to be dealt with "later."
Until then, please bear with me, Zoo. I do love you - you house my Heathens so well and give us a safe place to call HOME. But this semester has been a rough one. I'll admit to hardly keeping my head above water on many days.
I know you understand my need to choose the Heathens first. With the oldest Heathen so close to leaving, that need is even greater because I can see the change growing closer.
Zoo, your time to shine will come soon enough. Until then, please be polite to the dust bunnies. (I hear they can be rather friendly.)
Love Always,
The Zookeeper
I know that you currently feel unloved and unappreciated considering your current state of dishevelment. Please know that it is not that I don't care for you. I just have had to choose between upkeep and Heathens. Unfortunately for you, the Heathens have won.
The semester is almost at an end and I will have a chance to get you "caught up" and clean. Discarded objects will no longer clutter every horizontal surface. Dishes will no longer be stacked on the counter. Floors will be vacuumed and shelves will be dusted. Laundry will be gathered up and the floor will no longer be home to randomly discarded socks and shoes.
Belongings will get tidied up and put back in their places. Papers will be organized and filed away or discarded - not placed in stacks to be dealt with "later."
Until then, please bear with me, Zoo. I do love you - you house my Heathens so well and give us a safe place to call HOME. But this semester has been a rough one. I'll admit to hardly keeping my head above water on many days.
I know you understand my need to choose the Heathens first. With the oldest Heathen so close to leaving, that need is even greater because I can see the change growing closer.
Zoo, your time to shine will come soon enough. Until then, please be polite to the dust bunnies. (I hear they can be rather friendly.)
Love Always,
The Zookeeper
Thursday, November 19, 2015
The Road Less Travelled - But An Excellent Road
It happens every fall on Facebook. The pictures of college acceptance letters start to pop up with increasing frequency along with pictures of ecstatic parents and high school seniors. "She got accepted to her first choice! We couldn't be more proud!" The excitement is palpable. And I grin every time I see such a post as I remember getting my own acceptance letter.
And, yet, when these same parents talk to my oldest Heathen, they attempt to TALK HIM OUT of his choice. "Have you thought of college? You should think about going to college instead." And Heathen #1, understandably, comes homes irritated and sometimes downright angry. He knows that he has made the best choice for HIM. And he knows he has our full support.
It is with GREAT PRIDE that I announce Heathen #1 has chosen to continue to lead a life of service following high school graduation. He has chosen to join the US Navy and currently has a ship date of August 2, 2016.
The Asst. Zookeeper and I FULLY SUPPORT his choice for his future. Not only is it an excellent choice for him, but both of our families are NAVY families (with the random person in a different branch occasionally). We've raised our Heathens to serve and help others - how could we not support his choice?
And for the parents that have felt the need to ask me, "Are you okay with this?" My answer is: it really isn't MY choice. I can be a supportive Zookeeper and sign the delayed entry program papers (which I did). Or, my Heathen can turn 18 in March and sign himself - and leave wondering if his parents support his choice, if he made a good choice. No Heathen deserves to leave home with extra feelings of self doubt. Leaving home is momentous enough.
So, to the adults who feel the need to "poo-poo" my Heathen's choice of a future: mind your own business. You won't hear me ask YOUR child if they are ready for their students loans that will take them the next 30 years to pay off and aren't they worried that they won't find a job with that choice of major? You will hear me CONGRATULATE your child on their choice of a future that fits THEM.
Have the decency to give my Heathen the same courtesy, please.
Well done, Heathen. The Asst. Zookeeper and I are VERY PROUD of your choice in a future.
And, yet, when these same parents talk to my oldest Heathen, they attempt to TALK HIM OUT of his choice. "Have you thought of college? You should think about going to college instead." And Heathen #1, understandably, comes homes irritated and sometimes downright angry. He knows that he has made the best choice for HIM. And he knows he has our full support.
It is with GREAT PRIDE that I announce Heathen #1 has chosen to continue to lead a life of service following high school graduation. He has chosen to join the US Navy and currently has a ship date of August 2, 2016.
The Asst. Zookeeper and I FULLY SUPPORT his choice for his future. Not only is it an excellent choice for him, but both of our families are NAVY families (with the random person in a different branch occasionally). We've raised our Heathens to serve and help others - how could we not support his choice?
And for the parents that have felt the need to ask me, "Are you okay with this?" My answer is: it really isn't MY choice. I can be a supportive Zookeeper and sign the delayed entry program papers (which I did). Or, my Heathen can turn 18 in March and sign himself - and leave wondering if his parents support his choice, if he made a good choice. No Heathen deserves to leave home with extra feelings of self doubt. Leaving home is momentous enough.
So, to the adults who feel the need to "poo-poo" my Heathen's choice of a future: mind your own business. You won't hear me ask YOUR child if they are ready for their students loans that will take them the next 30 years to pay off and aren't they worried that they won't find a job with that choice of major? You will hear me CONGRATULATE your child on their choice of a future that fits THEM.
Have the decency to give my Heathen the same courtesy, please.
Well done, Heathen. The Asst. Zookeeper and I are VERY PROUD of your choice in a future.
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