Simple Joys: Time & Conversation

The Asst. Zookeeper and I have never been ones to exchange gifts.  We watch other couples worry about the "perfect gift" for Christmas, birthdays - and now Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

It entertains me when people treat us as lepers because we don't have huge plans for the upcoming weekend.  "What do you MEAN you aren't doing ANYTHING special?"  Pair this shocked question with a horrified look on the face of the woman who was painting my nails.  Sometimes, I'm then pitied as though I don't know how horrible my life is - I'm told that there is STILL TIME to make plans and I can still go shopping.

Occasionally, I feel the urge to lie to these people (acquaintances, friends, and even family) just to avoid the entire conversation.  I look at it as being a lie of convenience.  I don't have to be treated as though I'm abnormal.  I don't feel the need to attempt and defend our decisions.  And, yet, I continue to tell people:

No - we do not have holiday/birthday plans.  No - we do not exchange gifts.

YES - we are happy.

And here is why we are happy.  Almost 20 years ago, when the Zoo didn't yet exist, we were NOT the Head and Asst. Zookeeper.  We were simply US - and we had no extra money.  Buying gifts and going out for fancy dinners wasn't an option at that point.  So we learned to spend TIME together.  And we learned to TALK to each other.

And now, 20 years later, it entertains me when the Asst. Zookeeper and I are in a different room from the Heathens and I overhear one of them ask where we are.  It cracks me up to hear one of them respond, "They're in the dining room.  But don't go in because they are TALKING." This is said with the same inflection of voice as though we are doing something else.  And the Asst. Zookeeper chuckles as well.

So, no, we have no plans for Valentine's Day.  And we have no plans for my birthday, which is just a few days later.  And I DO NOT feel slighted, or unloved, or un-valued.  This is simply how we work.

And, because the Asst. Zookeeper just walked in the door from work, I'm finished for this round.  Now, as we taught our Heathens when they were little:  Go find something to do for awhile.  We're talking.