Spring is supposed to bring sunshine, warm afternoons, cool evenings, butterflies, children laughing, a sense of ease and calmness as the school year winds to a close. Birds should be chirping and baby bunnies should be hopping through the grass that has finally turned green.
ALL of those things are happening right outside my window!
With this absolutely LOVELY time of year comes a particular form of evil. This evil rears its head occasionally throughout the year, but spring is its favorite season. And the evil has a name. It calls itself HEALTH FORMS. Occasionally, it uses other aliases - Medical Forms, Physical Forms being the most common.
Heathens can go NOWHERE and do NOTHING without this evil being required. And the evil is different for every activity. Even if all three Heathens go to the same place at the same time - they each must have their own evil! And if the Asst. Zookeeper or I volunteer to help - we require our own evil as well!
I dedicated my entire day yesterday to the completion of this evil - at least to the point where I can put it all in a folder and take it to be signed by various medical professionals (and pay $5 for each signature - which is really just a stamp!).
Yesterday's evil tally:
Zookeeper - 2 health forms, one requiring a physician signature. Guess who had to schedule a physical because the last one doesn't fall into the required dates! Yeah.
Asst. Zookeeper - 1 health form requiring a physician signature. I know he needs a new physical. And I know what he's going to say when I tell him - he HATES going to the doctor. This will be like trying to talk a toddler into toilet training when they are quite happy with their diapers. Lots of bribes will be used.
Heathen #3 - 3 health forms, one requiring a signature. Just have to pay to have it stamped.
Heathen #2 - 2 health forms, one requiring a signature. Again, payment for a stamp.
Heathen #1 - 3 health forms, one having to be completed ONLINE, printed, taken to physician for stamp, than SCANNED and SUBMITTED ELECTRONICALLY. This took me almost 2 hours yesterday as this system required usernames and passwords for two different systems and they couldn't be the same - they had to be different from each other!
I currently have an entire FOLDER of evil to take to the pediatrician for stamping - at $5 or $10 a page. Plus the time it takes to get there and wait for them to do the stamping. And the trees I've killed to print the evil.
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| Health Forms ready for signatures. |
Definitely my LEAST favorite part of spring.
