4th Grade Procrastination

One month ago, Heathen #1 was assigned a school project. The topic was to be "past, present, and future" of whatever they chose. He chose cars - no problem. Simply enough. He spent an afternoon outside with the camera and the Assistant Zookeeper taking pictures of the 2002 Dodge Caravan and the 1973 Fiat Spider that we own. And I saw lots of drawings of what a "future" car would look like - no problem.

Here are/were the problems:

Problem #1:

What I never saw was a project outline from the teacher or any written directions of any kind - so I assumed that it was a project that they were working on in school.

Problem #2:

By the time I thought to ask when the project would be finished, the project was due in one week. (At this point, I'm still assuming this project is being done in school.)

Problem #3:

Tristan says that the project is due Friday (which happens to be today). He says all he has to finish is to make his poster. The poster board, at this point, has made multiple trips back and forth to school on the bus, has been crumpled by Heathen #3, and has also been torn near one corner. And he started to just staple pictures onto it. This is what he was going to turn in (on left). Can you see the condition of this poster board?

Problem #4:

This is the first such project that Heathen #1 has been assigned. And since I know myself to be an over-controlling perfectionist when it comes to schoolwork of any type, I was doing my best to ignore the condition of the project taking place at my dining room table. I was doing pretty well when the Assistant Zookeeper got a glance of it and declared it unacceptable - much to my relief because that meant that I wasn't being crazy, in this one instance.

Problem #5:

We have no extra poster board in the house to use to start over. As Head Zookeeper, zoo supplies are in my job description. I headed for the local grocery store for poster board.

God BLESS Giant Eagle! Not only did I find poster board, but I was also able to get a glue stick, markers, two car magazines, and a small package of car stickers all in one place.

I returned to the Zoo with my supplies in tow - feeling quite proud of myself that I was resourceful enough to have thought of the car magazines and stickers while on the supply run. Then Assistant Zookeeper and I found the next problem.

Problem #6:

THIS WAS A PROJECT THEY WERE TO BE WORKING ON AT HOME. HEATHEN #1 HAD DONE NO RESEARCH AT ALL. HE HAD TO WRITE THREE PARAGRAPHS ABOUT CARS (one each: past, present, and future) AND HE HAD NO INFORMATION. HE HAD NOT DONE ANY RESEARCH.

I should mention that at this point it is now 8pm on Thursday night. This poster is due at 9am on Friday morning. And I'm still struggling between my perfectionist urges concerning school work and my promise to myself that I will not be one of those moms that does the project for her child.

Here's the timeline for the rest of the night.

8pm: Assistant Zookeeper put Heathens #2 and #3 into the bathtub together while I worked at the dining room table with Heathen #1. After they were in the tub, Assistant Zookeeper joined us at the table to lend his automotive expertise. Heathens #2 and #3 worked on soaking the bathroom carpet.

So we planned out the poster by drawing a sketch of it on plain paper. Tristan got the information he needed and he drafted the three paragraphs on scrap paper. I checked them for spelling and grammar, and then he rewrote them neatly (after an argument where I threatened to make him start completely over). I even photographed the proof that he did his own work! The sketch of his planned poster is on the left, the paragraph drafts are on the right.

8:30pm: Heathen #3 is upstairs crying in the bathtub that he has soap in his eyes while Heathen #2 is yelling that he didn't put soap in his brother's eyes. Assistant Zookeeper and I look at each other and he asks if he should go check on them. After a minute, Heathen #3 quite crying, Heathen #2 quite yelling, and we all got back to work. Assistant Zookeeper, Heathen #1 and I all went back to the poster project. Heathens #2 and #3 went back to attempting to drown each other and the bathroom carpet.

9pm: After taking two cold, wet Heathens out of the bathtub and returning them to their cage - I mean, bedroom - Assistant Zookeeper wished me good luck and left for work. (There are times I wished I was the one that worked night shift.) Heathen #1 and I continued work on the poster.

We finally got around to putting the actual poster together - God bless whomever invented glue sticks. I smeared glue on the backs of things and he smashed everything onto the poster board - paragraphs, pictures, et. al.

10pm: The night before the project was due, Heathen #1 had completed a poster that was acceptable for submission. It was a major improvement over his first half-attempt. He even admitted that it was more fun with me helping. :) I think he knew my nerves were unraveling at that point. I took a picture of the finished product so that Assistant Zookeeper could see it.

At 10pm, Heathen #1 headed for bed and so did I. I thought the project was complete and I was quite proud of myself. I hadn't taken over the project or done the work for him. I had managed to control my irritation with his procrastination.

Friday Morning - "D" day, 7pm: This morning, when my alarm sounded, I turned it off and flipped on the television to the news. School was cancelled for the day due to an ice storm. Go figure.

Landon's "boo-boo" finger - a recollection

Heathen #3 entered the realms of the "broken bone" club at the Miller zoo in November.­ I'd spent the past summer thinking how lucky we've been at our house.­ It's been roughly three plus years since we've has any broken bones.­ It almost seemed strange to me.­ I always thought that was what boys did -­ break bones.­ We did have the short spell several years ago where either Tristan or Gavin had a cast for a period of three or four months straight.­ But other than that, the boys have been very resilient.­ We didn't even have too many skinned knees this past summer.­

Well, on Saturday, November 11, 2007 around 11 o'clock, our luck ran out.­ Landon was sitting in his grandfather's truck with the door open.­ We were all standing around waiting to be able to start sorting scout popcorn.­ Tristan crawled past Landon into the truck -­ and swung the door shut.­ It was at that point that Landon started to cry.­

I got the door open within just a few seconds and I held Landon while he cried.­ The tears only lasted about three minutes -­ which amazed me.­ He then announced that he was "aw wight" and asked to be put down.­ He was a little grouchy for the next few hours, but that seemed reasonable enough considering that he'd had his hand shut in a door!

I took him to the emergency room that night for x-­rays.­ It wasn't slowing him down much, but it was starting to swell.­ And besides, with our schedule in life, that was the best time to take him.­ It would be a full week before Dan and I were both home at the same time.

Landon let them poke, prod, turn, x-­ray and splint that broken finger with little more than a "it hurts.­" I've never seen so many adults apologize to a small child who wasn't crying.­ He was such a trooper about the whole ordeal.­ And he left the splint on and makes sure he knows where his tape was.­

We did have to put a Spiderman band-­aid on the other hand solely for decorative purposes.­ However, I think that was the least I could do for the poor kid.­ When I took him to daycare this morning, he made sure that he had his tape with him and that Miss Melissa knew how the splint was supposed to be taped on.­

So much for a lack of broken bones in our house!

Evidence of "Making Crafts"

Gavin is currently into "making crafts" - as he calls it. Basically, it involves cutting every bit of paper in the house into confetti sized pieces and leaving them everywhere. You can follow him through the house just as you could follow the path of a ticker tape parade. Here is the evidence that Gavin has been "making crafts":

No catalog that arrives in the mail is safe. He has some of them cut apart before they've even been inside the house for more than 2 hours. When a paper item is missing, I always know who to ask. Just like I always know who to ask where my scissors and my scotch tape are - always Heathen #2.

However, he is unable to "make crafts" by himself. He has to include Landon. And by "has to" I do mean HAS to, whether Landon is willing or not. At some point in the "making crafts" activities, Landon discovered that you could color with crayons. And he discovered that crayons work on LOTS of different surfaces. Here's the first bit of evidence that I found:

I also found evidence on several wall and on the top of the laundry hamper. I'm planning on repainting most of my second floor - sooner than I had originally thought.

Apparently, Heathens #2 and #3 were having a craft session while I was in the basement doing laundry. I thought the two little Heathens were watching cartoons, because they were quiet and they weren't pestering me ("Mama, whatchyoo doin?" - per Heathen #3). And I was wrong. Too bad it hasn't become a decorating trend to have crayon, marker, or pencil scribbles on walls (or other household objects). Otherwise, my Heathens would have made me a trendsetter.

Cast of Characters

After many years of failed journaling, I've given in to the "blog." There are too many times when something happens that I want recorded in some way - and I have no way to record, or share, the event. Now I do.

The natural place to start would be an introduction of cast characters - isn't that how most plays start, with a cast list?

Obviously, from the blog title, there are three heathens currently residing in the zoo that we call a home.

Heathen #1: Tristan

This is this year's school picture - he'd probably be mortified to know I was using it. While it is an excellent photo of him, this is not a "true" picture of who my oldest son is.

The morning of school pictures, he came down the steps in a ratty, stained t-shirt and his hair looked like he combed it with an egg-beater. I chose the shirt and I combed the hair - adding a threat about NOT using the comb that the photographers provide. Heathen #1 is currently 9 years old, but will be turning 10 in less than two months. His favorite response when I ask him to do something is, "Aw, Mom!"

Heathen #2: Gavin

Again, a current school picture - his first ever! Heathen #2 is VERY different from Heathen #1. When the boys got out of bed the morning of school pictures, Gavin put this outfit together by himself! He knew exactly what he wanted to wear and asked me specifically where his white shirt was because he needed it to go under this sweater vest. Needless to say, this heathen is much more fashion conscious than the previous one. Heathen #2 is currently 5 years old, but will be turning 6 in just two months. His favorite response to anything I say is "But, Mom!" This angelic looking child also has a stubborn streak that would give anyone pause - he gets it from his father, but we'll get to him in a minute.

Heathen #3: Landon
This heathen is the youngest of the crew - God help him! At 2 and a half, he can hold his own with the older boys. Although still little, he does an amazing job of keeping up with Heathens #1 and #2. Needless to say, he is incredibly verbal for his age. This one's claim to fame is his appetite. At two and a half, he's only about 28 lbs. And he's only 2ft. 9in. tall - a midget compared to my older two. But he eats more than both of them put together! As his father so eloquently put it, "His verbal skills are deteriorating. All he says anymore is, 'Mama, I hungry.'"

We've almost finished the cast of characters for the home zoo. There is still one main character to go, plus a few minor characters.

This last main character is probably the biggest Heathen in my zoo. And most of the time, he's the ringleader. I've mentioned him a few times already, but he definitely deserves his own introduction.

Daniel - the head heathen & assistant zookeeper

We started dating when we were in high school - and twelve plus years later, we still haven't killed each other. Considering how obnoxious I can be at times, how irritating he can be at times, and considering the strong personalities involved on both sides, this is truly amazing! The motorcycle above is one of his many toys. This one he repainted himself - and he's talking of painting it again here shortly. Never satisfied....

That's the end of the main characters. As for the minor characters, there are a few. First of all, there are the Psychotic Cats. I got these cats for my birthday last year, from a no-kill shelter in the middle of nowhere (this is a post all by itself). Anya is the gray one, and Rosie is the black.

These two are NUTS. A set of litter-mates, Anya and Rosie should have been dogs with the personalities they have. Life is rarely dull with these two in the evenings. Just about 18 months old, they still have a lot of kitten left in them.

Hamsters. We have crazy hamsters - in a house with two cats. These critters are deserving of their own posts, which I will get to eventually. We've had as many as 16 at one time - again, a separate post.

And fish - these are very minor characters here. The only time they have a role is when one of the younger two heathens puts something into the fish tank. The least of the items is usually a Matchbox car or something that sinks and must be fished out. I can handle this. The worst has to have been when Heathen #2 fed them an entire box of Cookie Crisp that I had left on the counter. Cookie Crisp and fish filters are not friends - just something to keep in mind.

Well, that's the cast of characters at our zoo. Our zoo is always open, and there is no entrance charge except a sense of humor and a willingness to roll with the punches.

Oh! And I forgot, there's me - I'm head zookeeper.