Every Student's Dream Come True

This past weekend I was incredibly ill on Friday night.  By 3 am on Saturday morning, I woke up the Asst. Zookeeper for him to drive me down to the hospital.  Due to being so sick, I didn't even bother with putting on my glasses.  I simply didn't care.

Upon arrival at the hospital, I went through the typical triage area and then was taken back to be seen.  Amazingly, this all went very rapidly and everyone was very nice!  I saw the doctor and he decides what he is going to do.  Part of his plan was an IV for fluids because I was so terribly dehydrated.  Doctor say that the nurse will be right in to get it started.

In walks the nurse.  I opened my eyes enough to verify if the shape was male or female.  Male.  Definitely my age or younger.  He was very polite as he moved around the room.  Then he asked if I still taught at McCort.

Huh?  I haven't been at McCort since spring of 2004.  And I'm not wearing my glasses, so I can't even see who this guy is.  He casually says that I was his math teacher. 

And now it's time for my IV!  Kudos to Travis (who's name I remembered shortly thereafter) for not spending an hour or more digging for my nonexistent veins.  He actually was very good at his job.

When he finished taping down the tubing and had everything situated, I told him he was now the envy of every high school student in the world.  What student wouldn't LOVE to stab their math teacher with a needle!?!?

What teacher doesn't dread the day that a past student is part of the "real world."  We remember you as a teenager or younger.  It's always a frightening thought!  And my old student was my nurse!

PS - Travis, you were a great nurse.  The IV was well done.  Congratulations on turning into who you are!  Welcome out into the real world.  :)

Say "Cheese!"

This past week, Heathen #3 came home from kindergarten with an interesting assignment.  He received a paper turkey, and he was to make a disguise for it.  It was a parent/child project (a.k.a. - you're allowed to help).  The assignment even gave a few hints for possible disguises.  I assumed the littlest Heathen would pick one of the suggestions.  I was SO wrong.

He wanted to put his turkey in a bikini because it was going to a "bikinishoot" - which translates into "bikini shoot," like a model.  It took a little bit to figure out what the correct translation was because he was getting VERY impatient with the Momma.

I'm figuring he won't have thought this through very clearly, and it shouldn't take much time.  I'll give the Heathen some crayons, he'll draw a swimming suit, and we're good!  NOPE!

After much work translating, I discovered that this turkey wasn't just to wear a regular bikini, it was to be a STRING bikini (Heathen translation: a bikini with those "things" and lots of hand motions).  And he wanted it to be sparkly.

Bless Grandma and her glitter glue!  She saved me (again).  After more than an hour of coloring, cutting, pasting, gluing, leaning in the glitter with our elbows, and REDOING everything on the above list, here is what the Heathen created for his disguise:

Don't miss the nail polish and the lipstick.  And the sandals have "those things on them" that he wanted as well!  I think I should have gone into fashion!