Be Polite To The Dust Bunnies - They Live Here

Dear Zoo,

I know that you currently feel unloved and unappreciated considering your current state of dishevelment.  Please know that it is not that I don't care for you.  I just have had to choose between upkeep and Heathens.  Unfortunately for you, the Heathens have won.

The semester is almost at an end and I will have a chance to get you "caught up" and clean.  Discarded objects will no longer clutter every horizontal surface.  Dishes will no longer be stacked on the counter.  Floors will be vacuumed and shelves will be dusted.  Laundry will be gathered up and the floor will no longer be home to randomly discarded socks and shoes.

Belongings will get tidied up and put back in their places.  Papers will be organized and filed away or discarded - not placed in stacks to be dealt with "later."

Until then, please bear with me, Zoo.  I do love you - you house my Heathens so well and give us a safe place to call HOME.  But this semester has been a rough one.  I'll admit to hardly keeping my head above water on many days.

I know you understand my need to choose the Heathens first.  With the oldest Heathen so close to leaving, that need is even greater because I can see the change growing closer.

Zoo, your time to shine will come soon enough.  Until then, please be polite to the dust bunnies. (I hear they can be rather friendly.)

Love Always,
The Zookeeper

The Road Less Travelled - But An Excellent Road

It happens every fall on Facebook.  The pictures of college acceptance letters start to pop up with increasing frequency along with pictures of ecstatic parents and high school seniors.  "She got accepted to her first choice!  We couldn't be more proud!"  The excitement is palpable.  And I grin every time I see such a post as I remember getting my own acceptance letter.

And, yet, when these same parents talk to my oldest Heathen, they attempt to TALK HIM OUT of his choice.  "Have you thought of college?  You should think about going to college instead."  And Heathen #1, understandably, comes homes irritated and sometimes downright angry.  He knows that he has made the best choice for HIM.  And he knows he has our full support.

It is with GREAT PRIDE that I announce Heathen #1 has chosen to continue to lead a life of service following high school graduation.  He has chosen to join the US Navy and currently has a ship date of August 2, 2016.

The Asst. Zookeeper and I FULLY SUPPORT his choice for his future.  Not only is it an excellent choice for him, but both of our families are NAVY families (with the random person in a different branch occasionally).  We've raised our Heathens to serve and help others - how could we not support his choice?

And for the parents that have felt the need to ask me, "Are you okay with this?"  My answer is: it really isn't MY choice.  I can be a supportive Zookeeper and sign the delayed entry program papers (which I did).  Or, my Heathen can turn 18 in March and sign himself - and leave wondering if his parents support his choice, if he made a good choice.  No Heathen deserves to leave home with extra feelings of self doubt.  Leaving home is momentous enough.

So, to the adults who feel the need to "poo-poo" my Heathen's choice of a future: mind your own business.  You won't hear me ask YOUR child if they are ready for their students loans that will take them the next 30 years to pay off and aren't they worried that they won't find a job with that choice of major?  You will hear me CONGRATULATE your child on their choice of a future that fits THEM.

Have the decency to give my Heathen the same courtesy, please.

Well done, Heathen.  The Asst. Zookeeper and I are VERY PROUD of your choice in a future.

Together When Separate

My Asst. Zookeeper is an amazing man - mostly because he lives with and deals with ME on a daily basis.  For twenty years now, he has been my solid ground through the winds of life.

He is not a fussy, emotional man.  He is "fuzzier" with me than he is with any other human on Earth - including our Heathens now that they are older.  He is definitely a no-nonsense type of person.  He dislikes drama vehemently.

In so many things, he is my polar opposite.  But it works for us.

Last week, on one of my commutes to work, I remember thinking of something funny and also thinking that I had to remember to share that thought with the Asst. Zookeeper since it was something I knew he would appreciate.  This led me to the thought:

Does the Asst. Zookeeper think of me during the day while he is away?  I think of him frequently when things strike me as funny, or ironic.  I think of him as I watch other people deal with life and I consider how he would have dealt with a particular situation.

And I decided that he probably thinks of me in the same manner.  After 20 years together, we function not only as individuals, but as a single unit.  We still love nothing more than to sit and talk, sharing our day.

Turns out I was wrong.

Today, at approximately 9:30 am, my phone rang with the Asst. Zookeeper on the other end of the line.  He had called simply to tell me about the rainbow he saw on his drive to work.  He said he knew what was at the end of the rainbow because it sprang right out of the mountain on one side of the road and went over the roadway.  He had driven under the rainbow.  It was SO AMAZING that he wanted to show it to me because he knew I would love it.  He pulled to the side of the road and tried taking several pictures with his phone but they just didn't show how awesome it really was.

So he called to tell me all about it.  And it was the greatest five minutes of my morning.  Something that I will never forget.

He may be rough and rugged.  He may not be "cuddly" very often.  But I am in his thoughts, even when we are separate.  Nothing is better than that.

When the Calm is FRIGHTENING

The school year is in full swing here at the Zoo - activities are underway, the Heathens are drowning in homework, and I have to sign at least one paper and provide at least one Heathen with money on a daily basis.  Today, I signed a math test and money was requested for a field trip.  All is well.

The Zoo functions at optimal levels when the level of "insanity" is directly proportional to the "lack of time available."  The Asst. Zookeeper and I have always been this way - and the Heathens have learned it as well.

This is typically an asset to the lifestyle we lead.  For example, prior to the beginning of my typing, our day went as follows:

by 6 am - alarms start blaring in various rooms of the house

by 6:30 am - dogs have given up patiently waiting for people to wake up and have begun to get obnoxious in their want of the outdoors

by 6:33am - dogs start cycling through the backdoor and patiently wait as I walk to the bottom of the stairs to start hollering for Heathens to get out of bed

by 7 am - Two Heathens are prepped for school and putting on their shoes (I actually have a 7 am alarm set so that we don't lose track of time in the mornings!); 3 dogs have gone outside; I have consumed at least one cup of coffee (sometimes 2); dishes from breakfast have been washed (if I'm feeling up to it)

between 7 & 7:30 am - I holler up the stairs for the oldest Heathen a minimum of 3 times for him to get moving; I start computer work for the day (either lesson plans or household stuff or volunteer items).

7:30 am - the oldest Heathen finally leaves, and the Asst. Zookeeper starts to get ready for his day;  I'm still working in the dining room, where I remain until 9:30 am

9:30 am - I prep dinner and throw it all in the crock pot as I KNOW the evening is busy.  By 10 am, I'm in the shower.  By 10:45, I'm ready to leave, having made an errand list to attempt during the day.

11 am through 3:30 pm - involves a 45 minute commute to work and teaching 2 college courses, followed by running a few errands and the matching commute home

3:30 pm - as I pull in the driveway, the younger Heathens are getting off the bus;  I enter the Zoo to discover that the oldest Heathen did indeed put water on the stove to boil (per my text).

4 pm - all Heathens are eating dinner prior to evening activities (including scouts and a committee meeting);  At 4:15, I took a scheduled phone call from the college. Everyone is finished eating by 4:45.

Here is where today became FRIGHTENING - from 4:45 pm to 6:30 pm, NOTHING has happened or is scheduled to happen.  Strangely, no one had homework.  I already had prepped everything needed for my meeting tonight.

And, while there were things I COULD DO, there has been nothing I HAD TO DO.  I've paced through the house several times now with the feeling that I am forgetting something important.  I will discover it any moment now and then life will be back onto its normal break-neck pace.

But until then, I'm just not sure how to handle this!

The Last "First" Day

Senior Year for Heathen #1 - need I say more?  He started a count down to graduation at his 17th birthday in MARCH.  He's not excited in the least.

So my Heathen #1 is a senior.  And if one more person asks me if I am upset that he is a senior and will be leaving soon, I may just HIT them!

What does it mean that my oldest Heathen is a senior?
1.  I survived the years of sleeplessness that goes with having a young child in the house where you wake up at every little creak and lie awake waiting to see if you are needed.
2.  I learned to change diapers until he mastered potty training. It was a fierce battle, but I finally proved to be more stubborn then him.
3.  I survived his elementary school years  - where a stubborn, outspoken little boy doesn't always fit in very well.
4.  I watched him attempt to make friends and succeed.  I watched him attempt to make friends and fail.
5.  I've watched him learn that failure is not the end of the process - that it is always worth another try.
6.  I struggled watching him through the middle school years which are painful for even the luckiest of children.
7.  I watched him discover who he is, and accept that who he is, is a pretty cool guy.
8.  I've watched him grow by inches and learned to look up to him - both literally and figuratively.  Although still a teenager, he has strong common sense.
9.  I've watched his independence grow and learned that my opinion is not always welcome, of even needed.  I've also learned that when he asks my opinion, it is because he still seeks guidance.

And the most important:
10.  I've learned that being sad that my Heathen is a senior would be contradictory to everything I've attempted to teach him over the years he has been part of my life.

He doesn't belong to ME.  He belongs to himself.  He should face new adventures with enthusiasm - and everything can be considered an adventure, even a trip to the grocery store.  He has to be able to make decisions that HE can live with and that will allow him to sleep soundly at the end of the day. Doing something on your own is respectable, but ask for help when you need it.

So, NO - I refuse to be sad that my oldest Heathen is a senior.  He has a great future ahead of him and I am excited to see what paths he chooses along the way.  On the first day of kindergarten, I told him that school was a grand adventure and he was finally old enough to start that adventure.  His adventure is not ending, it is still only just beginning...

Heathen #1 - first day of school: SENIOR
August 26, 2015
 

Not only did a get a hug and kiss goodbye, he smiled for
the first day photos.  It has been several years since that happened!

The Dreaded Years of MIDDLE SCHOOL

This school year involves such big milestones for our Zoo.  Two eras are ending and a third era is beginning.  My mind, while usually the quality of Swiss cheese, is struggling to keep up.

For the first time in 12 years, I do NOT have a Heathen in the elementary building.  And it is such a relief!

Don't get me wrong, my Heathens were happy there and made enormous leaps and bounds in their educations.  I believe that their teachers were all behind the "big desk" not because it meant they were in charge but because they felt a call to teach - a vocation of meaning.  I cherished the cards made with little hands dipped in paint, and asking them to tell me about their drawings because I couldn't tell WHAT it was they had scrawled on the paper.  I loved eating lunch with them and watching them interact with their friends.  Halloween parades, holiday parties, Valentine cards - I loved it all.

But that "book" of my life (I can't label 12 years as a "chapter.") if finished.  The youngest Heathen has boarded the bus for MIDDLE SCHOOL.

Despite years of watching his older brothers turn into little monsters that rolled their eyes and made huffing noises when disgusted.... Despite giving hugs and promising me (without promoting!) multiple times, and quite sincerely, that HE would NEVER behave like that....  Approximately 24 hours before the first day of school, IT HAPPENED.

Heathen #3 huffed at me in disgust and ROLLED HIS EYES at me.  It was like his body just KNEW that he was going to be an official 'middle schooler" and had to make sure that he was possible of making both the noise and eye movement that are guaranteed to make me want to shake a Heathen!

The world can relax; the Heathen can officially make the noise well and the eye roll was practically professional in quality.

I watched parents at the 5th grade orientation with their children - and you could tell which parents were there with their oldest child.  Internally, I was laughing at them as they practiced walking their child from room to room without allowing the child to even look at their own schedule.  I giggled inside as I watched parents talk to the teachers instead of letting their child introduce themselves.

But I choose not to be a helicopter parent and I've been on the Middle School Merry-Go-Round for seven years already - this will be year number eight.  Once the youngest Heathen and I arrived for the orientation, I handed him the schedule and said, "Get going - find your classrooms, introduce yourself to your teachers, and ask if there are any special supplies that you will need.  I'll follow you."  The only trouble we had was the fact that I no longer have the ability to dart through a hallway of children nearly as quickly as the youngest Heathen.

All was well - despite a small case of nerves the night before the big day.  By the end of day one, Heathen #3 was a confident middle schooler and knew where he needed to go.  But Lord, save that child's life if he rolls his eyes at me again anytime soon.

Heathen #3 - first day of school: 5th Grade
August 26, 2015

While the youngest Heathen is just entering the Middle School, the middle Heathen is entering his final year at the same building - MUCH to his delight.  In Heathen #2's case, Middle School has been the stereotypical awful experience.  He has finally learned that his life is MUCH safer if he doesn't roll his eyes at me and he has ALMOST learned that the huffing noise will send the Asst. Zookeeper off the deep end - although the noise does slip out from time to time.  This Heathen is still working on learning who HE is, not who someone else is.  And he is learning that who HE is, is who he is supposed to be.  So, in his last year at the Middle School, I hope he continues to grow as a person.  I hope he finally comes to terms with the grade on the paper doesn't correlate to the type of person you are or will become.  I want him to continue to be HIM - as he is the only Heathen #2 that I have.

Heathen #2 - first day of school: 8th Grade
August 26, 2015

 So I sent my "middle school bookends" to school together for the first time in years.  And I found it a bit awe inspiring to look from one to the other and think, "This was what you looked like and is similar to who YOU were four years ago!  And this is how much YOU are going to change in the next four years!"  It was exciting - I had the ability to see both into the past and into the future at the same time.

My middle school bookends: 5th and 8th Grade!

Batten down the hatches Middle School - you get
TWO Heathens this year!

 I didn't forget about Heathen #1 - but this year, he has earned a post of his own.  So I'll just slide in a photo of all three.  What an amazing year it is going to be!

Egbert's Arrival

When the Heathens were much younger (ages 12, 8, and 5 approx.), we had a motor home that the Heathens dubbed "Rover."  Our Zoo made a habit of naming motorized vehicles when the Heathens were little.

Rover was well-loved.  He made several memorable trips with the Heathens - Canada and Niagara Falls, Assateague Island and the wild horses, etc.  The trips were not only memorable for the destinations, but for the events that happened along the way.  If you want to look back on these trips, I documented them here and here.

Unfortunately, Rover was old when we bought him.  And his transmission didn't live as long as the Heathens would have liked.  After we sold him, we never managed to pass one up for sale on the roadside without the Heathens asking when we would buy another one.

So, with his Heathens in mind, the Asst. Zookeeper called me about two weeks ago and wanted to take me to Hollsopple.  Not the town that usually pops to mind when you think of a date with your husband.

But, here is what the Asst. Zookeeper had found in Hollsopple:

After the purchase and transfer, we took the RV home.  Heathens #2 and #3 were with us. And they dubbed the RV "Egbert."  I followed behind in the car as Egbert headed to the Zoo.

In typical Zoo fashion, the adventure began almost immediately.  The Heathens wanted to stop at the Asst. Zookeeper's parents' house to show them Egbert - the Heathens needed additional people to get excited with them and grandparents are GREAT about doing that.  However, when it was time to head home again, Egbert wouldn't start!

Despite checking the fuel, jumper cables, etc., we had to call it a night and leave Egbert at Grandma's house.  It was just too dark for the Asst. Zookeeper to be able to see anything under the hood.  The Asst. Zookeeper spent time online once we arrived home researching the problem.

It is INCREDIBLY handy to have a mechanic and an electrician at the Zoo. The man is worth his weight in gold.

The next morning - the Asst. Zookeeper had Egbert running and home in less than an hour.  The Heathens have spent many a night in Egbert while he is currently parked in the backyard.  While we haven't managed to take a trip just yet, the Heathens have had just as much fun planning trips.

Where will Egbert take us?  No one really knows.  But I'm sure it will be a memorable adventure. And that's all that matters here at the Zoo.