Flying Heathens - Similar, But Not To Be Mistaken With, Flying Monkeys

 

The younger two Heathens are currently airborn - somewhere over Cambria, Indiana, or Somerset counties in a small plane with the Asst. Zookeeper at the yoke.  They weren't sure whether to be excited or terrified as they boarded.

The Asst. Zookeeper started working on his private pilot's license several months ago.  For a man of few personal needs, flying is something that makes him glow with happiness.  I can hear them above me, but I keep loosing sight of them in the clouds.   They were thrilled that they got to wear headsets with attached mics. I worry that they will talk the entire time they are in the air!

Headed for the runway - notice the little Heathen face in the back window.

Take off!

Landing!

Taxiing back to the hanger  - again, notice the Heathens in the back window.

Touch the clouds every chance you get, Heathens - whether in real life or just in your imagination.  Life is SO much better when we are REACHING for something.

(The plane is in the lower left corner of the photo.)

Your Mama Was A Microwave.

For the past four days, people have felt the need to make comments to me, in my Heathen's hearing, that I wish they wouldn't.  

"Another teenager in the house.  Look out!"

"Good luck with a new teenager!"

"Will you survive another one?"

And I've chuckled and made the socially acceptable responses.

But the truth of the matter is, I'm EXCITED for Heathen #2 and the next several years.  He's no longer a baby that needs to be cared for every second of every day simply to survive.  He's no longer the impulsive toddler that must have his hand held constantly.  He's no longer the little boy that left for kindergarten and asked me that first day if I thought he was smart enough to go to school.  He's not even that "boy" anymore.

I still see flashes of each of these ages in my Heathen, almost daily.  He is still the infant, that in an instant of uncertainty, he needed a hug and asked me if he could have a second one as soon as the first ended.  He is still the toddler, that in an instant of nervousness looked around the room until he found me standing and grinning at him and I saw him calm instantly.  He is still the little boy that wants to be smart enough, that when he brought home a medal and announced he made it to states asked me, "Do you think I can do it?"  And these little pieces of the small boy he once was are the things that, as a Zookeeper, make all of the laundry and trips to the grocery store worth it.

But he's turned the magical age of THIRTEEN.  The next few years will truly start to show me what he will become in the future.  The clay project that I started years ago is starting to take shape and harden, and I'm curious as to what he will become.

When Heathen #1 had a birthday a few days before, Heathen #2 saw my Facebook post that said Heathen #1 brings me happiness.  And he asked me what he brings to my life - doesn't he bring me happiness as well?  And I grinned, and as the evil Zookeeper I am, I told him he would have to wait for his birthday to learn what he brings to my life.

Here's what I posted the day of Heathen #2's birthday:

"Happy 13th Birthday to Heathen #2.  You are not an "easy" child - but that is because of your strength of personality.  It will serve you well as an adult.  You never fail to amaze me in your search for dedication to fairness - especially when so often it is not your own cause that you are championing.  You will my life with laughter, which is more valuable than money,  You make me a rich Momma.  Happy Birthday, Heathen.  We love you."

Later that day, he asked me if he truly brought me laughter.  And I asked him, "Who sat in the car with me the morning of your birthday and argued about whether you were holding up 13 fingers when people ask you how old you are or if you're only holding up 10 fingers and 3 thumbs or 11 fingers and 2 thumbs (depending on the appendages used?"  And he grinned, and walked away.  But the walk looked a little more confident.

On Saturday, we had lunch at a local restaurant.  Right inside the door is one of those claw-machines, where for 50 cents, you can attempt to grab a stuffed animal.  My Heathens (and the Asst. Zookeeper) love them.  If the Asst. Zookeeper has one dollar bills in his pocket, they magically find their way into those machines - and the Heathens know it.

Heathen #3 managed to snag a stuffed dolphin, but was the only successful one.  After eating, Heathen #2 got one more shot at it, but still came up with an empty claw.  As we were walking away from the machine, from behind me I hear, 

"Whatever.  Your mama was a microwave." (directed at the claw machine)

Yes, Heathen #2, you bring my life laughter.  And, in a world where things can seem to go so wrong so often and people are so serious so much of the time, that is a very valuable thing to bring to some one's life.  Happy Birthday, Heathen #2.

The "Unimportant Middle" Birthday

I've often been mentally struck by the importance placed on certain birthdays, and the lack of importance placed on others.  I've noticed this myself as I've aged, the "lack" of BIG ONES coming up - the milestones that are supposedly so important in our development as humans.  In reference to Heathen #1's 17th birthday (having just occurred in the past week), I found myself guilty to this same lack of importance.

Last year, EVERYONE was excited for his birthday - it was a BIG ONE - he would be able to drive a vehicle.  Random strangers at the DMV were congratulating him on turning 16.  He counted down the days until he could apply for the permit, and then the 6 month period until he could take his test.

This year, in February, when asked what he wanted for his birthday, he replied that he wanted a GoPro camera (he's been asking for one now for several years - but the Zookeeper is cheap and Heathen #1 is notoriously hard on property).  And, I looked at my oldest son and said, (and I'm ashamed to quote myself, but I will), "You're only turning 17!  That's not important! It isn't 16 or 18 or even 21!  You'll ONLY be 17 - that's nothing special."

The post about the GoPro vs. "The Podium" is a separate post.

I've frequently thought about my comments since the day I made them - and I've decided I was WRONG.  "17" may be THE MOST important birthday a Heathen experiences in his lifetime. It marks the last year of childhood where 99% of mistakes are forgiven and expected because the Heathen is still learning.

At 18, we expect small heathens to magically be children one day and adults the next, just because the "number" associated with their age changes.  This mistakes are suddenly life-changing and unacceptable.

So, in this thought pattern - to my oldest Heathen at the beginning of your LAST year of childhood:

The Asst. Zookeeper and I look at you with a mixture of wonder, pride, worry, and mixed emotions - and sometimes that is all in the span of 60 seconds.

Wonder - we really thought, at many points along this path (and probably many more to come), that we had "screwed you up."  That we had handled a situation so badly that you would never recover to be a normal, functioning adult.  So far, so good!  While you have a few years left under our guidance, for the most part, the large "shaping" is done.  The Asst. Zookeeper and I are in the polishing stage - and the finished product is starting to be recognizable.

Pride - You have proven to be a productive member of society and to be the owner of a thoughtful and kind heart.  There are times where the kindness and consideration you display shames me due to my lack of similar reaction.  When you offer assistance, when you stop to help, when you stop to chat with those who need a kind word - my heart swells.  And when I chastise you that we don't have the "time" for something, and you look me in the eye and say, "but you taught me this is how we behave," you are teaching me as well,

Worry - there is so LITTLE left in your life that I can "fix."  That has been my role in your childhood - to fix things.  Whether it was a broken toy (which we immediately handed to the Asst. Zookeeper) or a broken social situation, my job was to "fix" what could be fixed.  And, as you have aged, to assist you in fixing things yourself.  We have reached the stage where my role is mostly as a coach on the sidelines - and then, only if you choose to ask and listen and consider the opinion offered.  As I am a "control freak," this leaves me in a state of mild panic.

Mixed emotions - while I am sad that your literal childhood is ending shortly (you told me the other day that there are only 364 days left until you are an adult), I am waiting with baited breath to see what lies ahead of you.

ENJOY your last 364 days of childhood.  While I haven't enjoyed every single one of the 6,206 days of your childhood so far, I wouldn't trade ANY of them if it meant missing seeing who you choose to become in the next years.

Happy 17th Birthday, Heathen #1.  You bring me happiness.

Podium Vs. GoPro

GoPro cameras arrived on the scene a few years ago - I was only aware of their appearance on the electronic scene because Heathen #1 added it to every "wish list" he was asked to create - birthday, holiday, regardless of who asked - it was on the list.  A homeless person could have asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and this new gadget would have been the response.

While the Asst. Zookeeper and I don't consider ourselves to be cheap, we also were NOT willing to drop that type of cash for a teenager.  We have maintained a budget, whether it was holidays or birthdays - it has never been a "free for all" with the checkbook.  The Heathens do not own iPads, etc.  If it is deemed needed, that is different.  But we differentiate between our needs and our wants in this house and we stick to them - which occasionally leaves an unhappy Heathens.

The Regional PIAA swim meet was held the last Friday and Saturday of February.  We originally threw Heathen #1 into a pool at 4 months of age - and we only waited that long because he was born in March and it was an outdoor pool.  He's been swimming ever since.  He swims like a fish - that doesn't use his tail.  He drags his size 14 feet through the water behind him like cinder blocks.  If I had a quarter for every time I yelled at him to kick his feet, I would never have paid a swim team fee in the past 8 years.  I've paid the fee every year and he continues to drag his feet.

This year, on the first day of the meet, he jokingly asked me if he made podium, if he could have a GoPro camera.  He was joking and being silly - but I looked right at him and said, "You make podium and I'll stop at Best Buy on the way home.  You won't get anything for your birthday, but I'll buy it today."  He was shocked.

Heathen #1 is a good swimmer - mostly by luck.  He swims because he enjoys it.  If he places, great.  If he doesn't place, whatever.  Which is a great attitude for the most part - but it occasionally drives me crazy.  The Regional swim meet is one of those times.

Let's start by qualifying what it means to "make the podium:"
In a relay event - only the top 3 teams are placed on the podium and receive medals (this Olympics).
In an individual event - the top 6 are placed on the podium.

Because I was only able to attend one of the two days, I stipulated that I wanted photographic evidence of "podium."

He had four chances - 2 relays and 2 individual events.  The Heathen boarded the bus with a mission.

First event was a relay - while they dropped time, they only placed 4th = NO PODIUM.

Second event was his 200 free - again, he dropped several seconds, but he only placed 8th = AGAIN, NO PODIUM.

Looking at the next day's events, he was seeded 6th in the 100 back stroke - which is excellent for all of the non-swimmers.  He looked at the time for the boy seeded 7th and stated that was the only boy he needed to out swim to make podium as their times were so close.

Saturday came and he headed for Regionals and the Asst. Zookeeper went to watch as I was taking Heathen #3 to a different swim meet several hours away.

Third event - 100 back - he dropped a ton of time - and still only placed 7th = NO PODIUM.

At this point, I'm a three hour drive away and my heart is aching.  I knew the Heathen was trying.  The Ass. Zookeeper said he swam a fantastic heat - it just wasn't quite enough.'

Last event was a relay - and the team took THIRD = PODIUM for the HEATHEN!

I received the following photos on my phone:

HE MADE PODIUM!  And, because it was ridiculously late at that point in the evening, and I was three hours away, I took him to Best Buy the next day to purchase the silly GoPro camera.  He might have pushed just a little bit harder for this swim meet because he had a definite goal in sight.  He might have made podium without the "carrot" dangling in front of him - we will never know.  What I know is that my Heathen earned himself a small piece of recognition as part of a team that he will always remember.  And I will always remember receiving this pictures and cheering loudly in a crowded hallway of swimming parents and yelling, "my son just got THIRD place at REGIONALS!" and that they all cheered with me.  Well done, Heathen.  See what happens when you KICK you feet instead of DRAG them like ANCHORS behind you?

Little Blue Shirt Retired

Dear Little Blue Cub Scout Shirt,

While I attempt to avoid sentimentality, sometimes as a mother, it is impossible.  It has been an emotionally draining week here at the Zoo.  We're only a week from the beginning of the school year and the pace has picked up noticeably in the family schedule.  But that isn't what has been draining.

Usually, I can ignore the fact that the Heathens are growing up without too much difficulty.  They are all still young at heart and love laughter and playing.  And none of them have gotten so old yet that they are unwilling to laugh and play with their Momma - which is such a blessing.

But there is always a time when I can no longer ignore their aging - and that is when I sew patches onto Boy Scout and Cub Scout uniforms.  While I refer to them as "patches," these little circles, ovals and squares of embroidery are actually the Heathens achievements in life.  Each little piece is a goal that one of them set for themselves, that they worked towards, and then achieved with little or no help from me.

Two days ago, Heathen #1 submitted his COMPLETED Eagle Scout packet - the only thing standing between him and a goal he set for himself at the age of six is a board of review.  Ten years of dedication on his part has paid off.  The day he submitted that packet, he couldn't contain his excitement.  The grin of pride on his face was breathtaking to see.

The same day Heathen #1 submitted his packet, Heathen #2 brought home a new rank advancement that he had earned - and he was grinning with pride as well.  He just attained Star Scout.  He handed me the rank advancement card with patch and, while grinning, told me, "I'm getting closer to Eagle!"  He, too, set himself the goal (at age 6!) that he would be an Eagle Scout.

Today, I pulled out my sewing box to attach these pieces of my Heathens' achievements to their uniforms.  Heathen #3 is finally old enough to wear the tan shirt of the "big boys" and I needed to move the patches to his new shirt.  After I had switched over the patches, I had him try it on - and the grin of pride was, like his brothers, amazing to behold.  He was so proud to wear that shirt and commented that now, "my shirt is just like Daddy and the boys' shirts."  He knows his father and brothers have attained something worth striving towards and he set himself the same goal of becoming an Eagle.  He frequently worries (at the age of 9) that there won't be any "good" Eagle projects left by the time he is old enough.

But, as I sat and stitched, I realized that for the first time in ten years, I won't have a little boy in my house that is wearing a blue shirt.  We've reached the end of an era in our household.

Our little blue shirt is finally retired - but it has served the Heathens well.  That shirt took my Heathens places and it taught them things.  It taught them that they were capable (even at the young age of 6) of setting a goal and working towards it.  I remember handing it to each of them to wear for the first time and seeing their excitement.  And they all wore it the day each of them looked at their father and me and said, "I am going to be an Eagle Scout."

Little Blue Shirt - thank you for what you have taught my Heathens.  You will always hold a special place in my heart.

The Heathens' Momma

Heathen #1 Installs Signs

The Eagle Scout Project continues!  Signs have been built and installed - although watching a bunch of Scouts dig holes and pack concrete was truly entertaining.  They are a great bunch of kids that will turn out to be good men someday.

Eight signs built and installed.  The map is almost complete.  Another week, and he'll be finished with the project.  Then, on to completing and submitting his packet and board of review to complete successfully.  I couldn't be prouder of him. 

Well done, Heathen.

Eeww! No Thanks!

The science fair is FINISHED.  I'll readily admit to being a bad mother and discouraging my Heathens from participating in the school science fair.  It is a long, drawn out process and another thing to do in the busy evenings.  I've managed to interest the Heathens in other things every year!  But this year, I failed.  Heathen #3 was determined to participate and I could not persuade him.  WHO taught this Heathen that he should try new things?  I blame the Asst. Zookeeper!

He decided to see which soda would rot your teeth the most, which involved floating hard boiled eggs in mason jars of soda for four weeks - which smell WONDERFUL when opened, let me assure you!  He was thrilled with the whole thing, from the planning, to the labelling, to the notating, to the poster, to the judges - it couldn't have gotten any better (in his opinion).  The whole process made me crave alcohol.

His judge was a local dentist that volunteered to be one of the judges - which was perfect!  Who better to discuss this project with but a dentist!  Heathen #3 came out of the judging with a HUGE grin on his face to tell me that Dr. Mike said if he, "wanted to do another project about teeth to let (him) know and he would give (Heathen #3) REAL TEETH that he had pulled from patients! Wouldn't that be fantastic, Momma? I wouldn't have to worry about breaking the eggs!"

Yes, Heathen.  That WOULD be FANTASTIC. (Be sure to read this line with heavy sarcarsm.)

I need to either find a great idea for next year (that DOESN'T involve teeth in any way) or work on my bribing skills.