Repeat Conversations with Children

I've learned over the past years (approximately 8 or since the oldest Heathen learned to speak) that there are certain phrases, that when uttered by my children, I have a pretty good idea of what is coming next. In the past two hours, I've heard several of them.

Heathen #1: "Momma! Where are you?!?"

My reply: "WHAT do you want?!?" (He was in the basement and I was on the second floor of the house putting away laundry.)

Heathen #1: "I want to ask you something!" (Accompanied by thumping footfalls up two flights of steps).

I know what is coming... it's a request for permission to DO SOMETHING or GET SOMETHING. That's all that ever follows those words when they come out of that child's mouth. And I was right!

He wanted to go play with a friend down the street. To make it better, he had trouble telling me where down the street and with whom he wanted to play. When I asked whom he was going to go see, he replied "Broderick." Not a name I'm familiar with. And when I said "Broderick WHO?" he said, "You know, BRODERICK!" Oh, that changes everything. And as for where he was going, it took a while to find a common point of reference. But we made it and he left with a time deadline to return home.

15 minutes later, the phone rings and I don't recognize the number. It's Heathen #1.

Heathen #1: "Hey Momma! Broderick gave me something. Can I have it?"

My mind went immediately to the "creature" category. That's about the only thing I ever remember taking home that my parents wouldn't let me have. My mother was a strictly one-pet household and would happily have lived animal free if possible. I imagined snakes, lizards, gerbils, hamsters, rabbits, etc. In a split second, I was trying to figure out how to say "no" if it was unreasonable (like a tarantula) or how to justify it to the Asst. Zookeeper if it was something I would like.

My reply: "What did he give you?" Cringe and wait for the answer.

Heathen #1: "A guitar. Can I have it?"

Oh. That was pretty painless. Not NEARLY as bad as I imagined in the split second that I thought it was a critter.

After the required "does his mother know about this" conversation, I okayed the guitar.

One hour later, Heathen #2 walks in the back door from the yard. I am in the basement folding more laundry (yes, that is my life).

Heathen #2: "Hey Momma! I found something!"

This usually means that he "found" something that he KNOWS belongs to someone else and he's hoping that I'm too stupid to know that. He wants me to grant permission for him to keep it. In his head, all that is required for this permission is for me to say, "that's cool" or something of that effect.

My reply: "What and where did you find it?"

Heathen #2: "Just outside. I think it's mine."

Automatically means that it is NOT his and he knows it.

It turned out to be a bracelet of mine that I had given him (I think) several months ago to play with. He's now happily walking around the house with his "new" bracelet.

I'm off to pick up Heathen #3 at preschool. I wonder what conversations await me for the 5 minute car ride home...