I've not posted since the beginning of Heathen #1's senior year of high school started. I had difficulty remembering to even breathe that year just trying to keep up with everything that needed to be done. At the end of the year and upon his leaving for Basic Training, I had trouble remembering to breathe because my Zoo felt broken.
It has taken me this long to regain my equilibrium (or at least close to equilibrium). While I knew his leaving would cause a drastic change, I failed to foresee the vast impact it would have - not only on myself, but on the younger two Heathens as well.
The younger Heathens have found their balance as well. Life here at the Zoo is beginning to feel normal again.
However, so much has happened - I'll have to start filling in the holes for the past many months. Enjoy!
Friday, July 28, 2017
Day Camp Era Ends
For the past eleven years, I have been to Cub Scout Day Camp. It has been an adventure EVERY year.
The first summer I attended the first day with Heathen #1 - and I was 9 months pregnant with Heathen #3. That Wednesday was the ONLY day I could attend as I was scheduled for an induction the following morning on Thursday. I was due on July 12. Wednesday was July 13. The camp nurse was a woman that I had known for years. And when she saw me arrive, I had to PROMISE that I wouldn't go into labor while I was at camp.
We had a great day with perfect weather. The fresh air was fabulous and although tired, I felt great. The only difficulty of the day was that the bathrooms were not centrally located and I needed to visit them frequently.
At 3:30, the group assembled for the closing flag ceremony and I excused myself from my group for yet another trip to the bathroom. Part way to the restroom, my water broke - at camp with more than 200 cub scouts. And I had scouts that I had to take home in addition to my own Heathens. I managed to round up the kids I needed and leave camp without having to admit to the nurse that I DID go into labor at camp - and I've never told her! I really had every intention of keeping that promise when I made it that morning.
Heathen #3 has attended Day Camp every year, including the year of his birth, except for one year when it overlapped with church camp. I attended Day Camp that year even though I DIDN'T have a scout there!
Archery, crafts, games, nature, feature, BB guns, scout skills, theme - stations that I will never visit again. I learned as much as my Heathens did over the years. I can tie the knots (some of them and not as well as the Heathens), I can start a fire (better than the Heathens), I've learned about space, the ocean, the Oregon Trail and so much more.
I've watched Heathens fall asleep in the car every day on the way home - every year. I've never heard one say they DIDN'T want to attend.
I've been a "walker" every year - chaperoning groups of scouts from station to station. I've watched them run when they were supposed to walk and walk when they were supposed to run. I've survived crafts that always seemed to involve a scout swinging a hammer and me holding the nail. I've survived archery and BB guns and yelled the phrase "keep that pointed down range!" more times than I can count. I've watched a scout put skittles in his nose and then look at me as though nothing was strange - and then eat said Skittles. I've searched for scouts that wandered away from their groups. I've survived Mother Nature in all her glory, packed into small rooms with small boys, waiting for the storm to pass.
I've watched my Heathens make friends and I've made friends myself.
But the Heathens are finished with Day Camp, at least as campers. I could see them going back as staff at some point, but that will be their choice. I have regained three days in the month of July for many years to come. And while I won't be going to Day Camp next summer, I don't know that I'll ever pass the month of July without thinking of it.
The first summer I attended the first day with Heathen #1 - and I was 9 months pregnant with Heathen #3. That Wednesday was the ONLY day I could attend as I was scheduled for an induction the following morning on Thursday. I was due on July 12. Wednesday was July 13. The camp nurse was a woman that I had known for years. And when she saw me arrive, I had to PROMISE that I wouldn't go into labor while I was at camp.
We had a great day with perfect weather. The fresh air was fabulous and although tired, I felt great. The only difficulty of the day was that the bathrooms were not centrally located and I needed to visit them frequently.
At 3:30, the group assembled for the closing flag ceremony and I excused myself from my group for yet another trip to the bathroom. Part way to the restroom, my water broke - at camp with more than 200 cub scouts. And I had scouts that I had to take home in addition to my own Heathens. I managed to round up the kids I needed and leave camp without having to admit to the nurse that I DID go into labor at camp - and I've never told her! I really had every intention of keeping that promise when I made it that morning.
Heathen #3 has attended Day Camp every year, including the year of his birth, except for one year when it overlapped with church camp. I attended Day Camp that year even though I DIDN'T have a scout there!
Archery, crafts, games, nature, feature, BB guns, scout skills, theme - stations that I will never visit again. I learned as much as my Heathens did over the years. I can tie the knots (some of them and not as well as the Heathens), I can start a fire (better than the Heathens), I've learned about space, the ocean, the Oregon Trail and so much more.
I've watched Heathens fall asleep in the car every day on the way home - every year. I've never heard one say they DIDN'T want to attend.
I've been a "walker" every year - chaperoning groups of scouts from station to station. I've watched them run when they were supposed to walk and walk when they were supposed to run. I've survived crafts that always seemed to involve a scout swinging a hammer and me holding the nail. I've survived archery and BB guns and yelled the phrase "keep that pointed down range!" more times than I can count. I've watched a scout put skittles in his nose and then look at me as though nothing was strange - and then eat said Skittles. I've searched for scouts that wandered away from their groups. I've survived Mother Nature in all her glory, packed into small rooms with small boys, waiting for the storm to pass.
I've watched my Heathens make friends and I've made friends myself.
But the Heathens are finished with Day Camp, at least as campers. I could see them going back as staff at some point, but that will be their choice. I have regained three days in the month of July for many years to come. And while I won't be going to Day Camp next summer, I don't know that I'll ever pass the month of July without thinking of it.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Two Sheets of Powerful Paper
Everyone owns a bag of some sort. This bag is your "catch-all" - backpack, purse, etc. Occasionally, this bag needs to be cleaned out. For many mothers, it is whatever bag they can NOT leave home without. Some mothers carry small bags, some carry medium size bags, and some use carry-on sized luggage. NONE of us can fault the luggage haulers - when those of us who opt for a smaller bag have need of something for our own child, the luggage-hauler inevitably digs through her luggage and magically pulls out whatever we need, and than hands it to us and shares with a smile. We would all be lost without those particular mothers!
Prior to the Heathens, I vaguely remember carrying a purse the size of a Tic-Tac. Upon Heathen #1's arrival, the Tic-Tac disappeared to be replaced by the ever-trusty diaper bag. About the size of a small duffel bag, our diaper bag when through a few renovations over the 11 years that I carried one.
Now years past that phase of parenting, I'm back to the woman's closest companion - my purse. I've noticed in the past week that it was time. There was too much stuff crammed in there: pens, pencils, receipts, to do lists, small tubes of lotion, hair clips, candy wrappers, gum wrappers, and other random objects that I have no idea why they were there or who put them there. It was time to empty it out, sort through the detritus, and discard the rubbish. Much like spring cleaning, it is not something I look forward to doing, but I feel better when it is over.
All receipt dates were checked to make sure they were financially recorded and then thrown away. All hair accessories were returned to the container in the linen closet. All candy/gum wrappers went into the garbage. Coupons' expiration dates were checked. Expired ones into the trash, valid ones into the wallet where I would see them to use prior to expiration (hopefully).
As I placed the coupons into my wallet, I noticed a ragged paper I keep in the back of my wallet. I haven't noticed it in quite a while and it surprised me that it was actually still there. I smiled as I pulled it out and carefully unfolded a magazine article that I have carried in my wallet for years. Like my purse, it is always with me. I've read that article so many times in the past years. As I reread it this morning, I noticed the date:
At that point in my life, I was working full time, juggling two small Heathens (ages 6 and 2), and pregnant with the third Heathen. While I love my Heathens, I have always loved my job - whatever it happened to be at that time. And I have always retained, to this day, a dual sense of guilt: one part, "I should want to stay home with my Heathens," and one part, "I should have a career and use my education." Oil and water, those bits of guilt are always discernible.
This article was the first I had seen that did not only support one side of the guilt or the other. It was not a list of all the ways children of stay-at-home mothers thrived more or a list of all the financial advantages to having a second income. It was an article written for me - and those like me - that love what they do and feel guilty and selfish for loving their jobs.
This article has been the equivalent of shaking a bottle of salad dressing. When the guilt of one or the other separates from everyday life, when I feel as though I am failing at a task (either as a mother or a teacher), when I feel overwhelmed by trying to have both worlds - I read this article. It shakes me out of that feeling of being overwhelmed.
Two years after I started to carry this article, I stopped working full-time and went to part-time. I am blessed with a husband that allows me the freedom (both financially and supportively) to make that change. That change freed me from so much of that guilt that I had carried for so long.
Over the years, as the Heathens have grown, I have needed to read the article less and less. For one, I've read it so many times that I could probably write most of it down from memory. But more importantly, as I've watched my Heathens grow, I have watched the eleven reasons listed in the article all come true with my Heathens. While I still worry over how my Heathens will turn out in the future, I now look at strong facial features forming clues to permanent appearances instead of the soft, boneless, fragile, doughy appearances of babies and small children. Now I watch strong personalities and characters instead of holding hands and struggling to teach "waiting your turn" at the playground to small impatient Heathens.
I reread the article again this morning, wondering if I still "needed" the article. With Heathen #3 in 6th grade this year, I went back to work full-time at the beginning of the school year. It has been an adjustment for both myself and the Heathens. Complaining about the chaos and juggling has been done by both the younger two Heathens and myself. It was specifically mentioned one day that, "I liked it when we just had me-and-Mommy days. I wish you didn't work."
Remember the amount of guilt that particular statement caused me, I shook myself this morning while I held the article in hand. Carefully, I refolded the article and put it back into my wallet with a soft smile. I'm not quite ready yet to give up that article. And I may not be ready until the Heathens are all successfully launched into their own lives. And that's okay. And the article is right, my Heathens are turning out well. That's okay with me.
** For those that would like to read the article, it is available here.
Prior to the Heathens, I vaguely remember carrying a purse the size of a Tic-Tac. Upon Heathen #1's arrival, the Tic-Tac disappeared to be replaced by the ever-trusty diaper bag. About the size of a small duffel bag, our diaper bag when through a few renovations over the 11 years that I carried one.
Now years past that phase of parenting, I'm back to the woman's closest companion - my purse. I've noticed in the past week that it was time. There was too much stuff crammed in there: pens, pencils, receipts, to do lists, small tubes of lotion, hair clips, candy wrappers, gum wrappers, and other random objects that I have no idea why they were there or who put them there. It was time to empty it out, sort through the detritus, and discard the rubbish. Much like spring cleaning, it is not something I look forward to doing, but I feel better when it is over.
All receipt dates were checked to make sure they were financially recorded and then thrown away. All hair accessories were returned to the container in the linen closet. All candy/gum wrappers went into the garbage. Coupons' expiration dates were checked. Expired ones into the trash, valid ones into the wallet where I would see them to use prior to expiration (hopefully).
As I placed the coupons into my wallet, I noticed a ragged paper I keep in the back of my wallet. I haven't noticed it in quite a while and it surprised me that it was actually still there. I smiled as I pulled it out and carefully unfolded a magazine article that I have carried in my wallet for years. Like my purse, it is always with me. I've read that article so many times in the past years. As I reread it this morning, I noticed the date:
Just shy of twelve years. I was pregnant with Heathen #3 when I found this article. I've had this article with me for that long. Heathen #3 didn't make his appearance until mid-July that year.
As a Zoo, we rarely subscribe to magazines. We are so rarely able to actually sit down and read one that it has always seemed to be rather a waste of money to us. And I am personally not (and never have been) a subscriber to "mommy magazines," as I think of them. Although I am sure they have the best intentions at heart, I've always felt as though those magazines make the work of raising children more difficult.
The articles are full of suggestions, crafts, pictures, etc. that have always struck me as so unattainable (for the most part). I'm left feeling frustrated and as though I failed at whatever task was covered in that months issue. Unfortunately, when you have children, especially children like my Heathens, you visit the pediatrician's office frequently - and they subscribe to those magazines en mass. Stacks of them are everywhere you turn.
That is my only guess at this point in time as to how I came upon this article in the first place. I don't remember the location or why I was there or who I had with me. But I remember reading this article and feeling as though it was written just for me. I remember looking hastily around to be sure no one was looking. Quietly as possible, I tore the two pages from the magazine, and quickly folded it and stuffed my contraband into my purse.
This is what I've carried for so long:
At that point in my life, I was working full time, juggling two small Heathens (ages 6 and 2), and pregnant with the third Heathen. While I love my Heathens, I have always loved my job - whatever it happened to be at that time. And I have always retained, to this day, a dual sense of guilt: one part, "I should want to stay home with my Heathens," and one part, "I should have a career and use my education." Oil and water, those bits of guilt are always discernible.
This article was the first I had seen that did not only support one side of the guilt or the other. It was not a list of all the ways children of stay-at-home mothers thrived more or a list of all the financial advantages to having a second income. It was an article written for me - and those like me - that love what they do and feel guilty and selfish for loving their jobs.
This article has been the equivalent of shaking a bottle of salad dressing. When the guilt of one or the other separates from everyday life, when I feel as though I am failing at a task (either as a mother or a teacher), when I feel overwhelmed by trying to have both worlds - I read this article. It shakes me out of that feeling of being overwhelmed.
Two years after I started to carry this article, I stopped working full-time and went to part-time. I am blessed with a husband that allows me the freedom (both financially and supportively) to make that change. That change freed me from so much of that guilt that I had carried for so long.
Over the years, as the Heathens have grown, I have needed to read the article less and less. For one, I've read it so many times that I could probably write most of it down from memory. But more importantly, as I've watched my Heathens grow, I have watched the eleven reasons listed in the article all come true with my Heathens. While I still worry over how my Heathens will turn out in the future, I now look at strong facial features forming clues to permanent appearances instead of the soft, boneless, fragile, doughy appearances of babies and small children. Now I watch strong personalities and characters instead of holding hands and struggling to teach "waiting your turn" at the playground to small impatient Heathens.
I reread the article again this morning, wondering if I still "needed" the article. With Heathen #3 in 6th grade this year, I went back to work full-time at the beginning of the school year. It has been an adjustment for both myself and the Heathens. Complaining about the chaos and juggling has been done by both the younger two Heathens and myself. It was specifically mentioned one day that, "I liked it when we just had me-and-Mommy days. I wish you didn't work."
Remember the amount of guilt that particular statement caused me, I shook myself this morning while I held the article in hand. Carefully, I refolded the article and put it back into my wallet with a soft smile. I'm not quite ready yet to give up that article. And I may not be ready until the Heathens are all successfully launched into their own lives. And that's okay. And the article is right, my Heathens are turning out well. That's okay with me.
** For those that would like to read the article, it is available here.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Cast of Characters - REVISITED
On January, 31, 2008, I started this blog. Here is the original post, for those that care to revisit it.
It has been EIGHT YEARS of chronicling the antics of my Heathens and the Asst. Zookeeper. Life here at the Zoo has done anything by slow down. If anything, it is moving at "full-steam ahead" and showing signs for speeding up!
For those that haven't followed for the entire 8 years, I thought I would reintroduce my Cast of Characters. The faces of small Heathens have aged, rounded cheeks giving way to cheekbones and chins. They've grown in height to the point that I've begun to feel like a midget in my own home.
So, the UPDATED Cast of Characters:
There are three heathens currently residing in the zoo that we call a home. Although, only until September.
Heathen #1: Tristan (age 18)
His senior picture - and our first high school graduate of the Zoo. This Heathen secured himself a job for the past FOUR summers and I'm beginning to think he may turn out to be a decent citizen of the community. This Eagle Scout has chosen to join the Navy (special warfare contract) and is leaving the Zoo in September. The Asst. Zookeeper and I completely support his choice and are proud of the young man he is becoming. What a difference 8 years makes!
Heathen #2: Gavin (age 5)
Again, a current school picture - his first ever! Heathen #2 is VERY different from Heathen #1. When the boys got out of bed the morning of school pictures, Gavin put this outfit together by himself! He knew exactly what he wanted to wear and asked me specifically where his white shirt was because he needed it to go under this sweater vest. Needless to say, this heathen is much more fashion conscious than the previous one. Heathen #2 is currently 5 years old, but will be turning 6 in just two months. His favorite response to anything I say is "But, Mom!" This angelic looking child also has a stubborn streak that would give anyone pause - he gets it from his father, but we'll get to him in a minute.
Heathen #2: Gavin (age 14)
Kindergarten to completed 8th grade - what a jump! This Heathen is taking on high school next year. I don't know that the high school is ready, but at least they will only have one Heathen at a time except for one year. This Heathen is learning to find himself in the lovely years of being a teen. And he is learning that being HIM is just fine. For a younger teen, while there is a lot of eye rolling, there is very little muttering. Although, if he feels he has a valid point, he will argue it to death (usually his mental death or mine). This one is still work on attaining Eagle Scout, but I fully expect him to earn it. While he still has the stubborn streak that he has demonstrated since birth, he has learned to channel it in useful ways. What a difference 8 years can make!
Heathen #3: Landon (age 2.5 years)
This heathen is the youngest of the crew - God help him! At 2 and a half, he can hold his own with the older boys. Although still little, he does an amazing job of keeping up with Heathens #1 and #2. Needless to say, he is incredibly verbal for his age. This one's claim to fame is his appetite. At two and a half, he's only about 28 lbs. And he's only 2ft. 9in. tall - a midget compared to my older two. But he eats more than both of them put together! As his father so eloquently put it, "His verbal skills are deteriorating. All he says anymore is, 'Mama, I hungry.'"
Heathen #3: Landon (age 10)
The bright blond hair has given way to a darker blond and the adorable toddler has grown into a witty almost-teen. Now entrenched in middle school, this Heathen is making his presence known. He's started the trials of middle school and trying to make sense of why some people are no longer friends and how friendships change as your age. But he is surviving and flourishing. He has begun the trek to Eagle Scout, following in some rather large footprints left by not only his brothers, but his uncles as well. I can't wait to see where this one goes in life. What a difference 8 years can make!
Well, that's the cast of characters at our zoo. Our zoo is always open, and there is no entrance charge except a sense of humor and a willingness to roll with the punches.
Oh! And I forgot, there's me - I'm head zookeeper.
It has been EIGHT YEARS of chronicling the antics of my Heathens and the Asst. Zookeeper. Life here at the Zoo has done anything by slow down. If anything, it is moving at "full-steam ahead" and showing signs for speeding up!
For those that haven't followed for the entire 8 years, I thought I would reintroduce my Cast of Characters. The faces of small Heathens have aged, rounded cheeks giving way to cheekbones and chins. They've grown in height to the point that I've begun to feel like a midget in my own home.
So, the UPDATED Cast of Characters:
There are three heathens currently residing in the zoo that we call a home. Although, only until September.
Heathen #1: Tristan (age 9)
This is this year's school picture - he'd probably be mortified to know I was using it. While it is an excellent photo of him, this is not a "true" picture of who my oldest son is.
The morning of school pictures, he came down the steps in a ratty, stained t-shirt and his hair looked like he combed it with an egg-beater. I chose the shirt and I combed the hair - adding a threat about NOT using the comb that the photographers provide. Heathen #1 is currently 9 years old, but will be turning 10 in less than two months. His favorite response when I ask him to do something is, "Aw, Mom!"
Heathen #1: Tristan (age 18)
His senior picture - and our first high school graduate of the Zoo. This Heathen secured himself a job for the past FOUR summers and I'm beginning to think he may turn out to be a decent citizen of the community. This Eagle Scout has chosen to join the Navy (special warfare contract) and is leaving the Zoo in September. The Asst. Zookeeper and I completely support his choice and are proud of the young man he is becoming. What a difference 8 years makes!
Heathen #2: Gavin (age 5)Again, a current school picture - his first ever! Heathen #2 is VERY different from Heathen #1. When the boys got out of bed the morning of school pictures, Gavin put this outfit together by himself! He knew exactly what he wanted to wear and asked me specifically where his white shirt was because he needed it to go under this sweater vest. Needless to say, this heathen is much more fashion conscious than the previous one. Heathen #2 is currently 5 years old, but will be turning 6 in just two months. His favorite response to anything I say is "But, Mom!" This angelic looking child also has a stubborn streak that would give anyone pause - he gets it from his father, but we'll get to him in a minute.
Heathen #2: Gavin (age 14)
Kindergarten to completed 8th grade - what a jump! This Heathen is taking on high school next year. I don't know that the high school is ready, but at least they will only have one Heathen at a time except for one year. This Heathen is learning to find himself in the lovely years of being a teen. And he is learning that being HIM is just fine. For a younger teen, while there is a lot of eye rolling, there is very little muttering. Although, if he feels he has a valid point, he will argue it to death (usually his mental death or mine). This one is still work on attaining Eagle Scout, but I fully expect him to earn it. While he still has the stubborn streak that he has demonstrated since birth, he has learned to channel it in useful ways. What a difference 8 years can make!
Heathen #3: Landon (age 2.5 years)
This heathen is the youngest of the crew - God help him! At 2 and a half, he can hold his own with the older boys. Although still little, he does an amazing job of keeping up with Heathens #1 and #2. Needless to say, he is incredibly verbal for his age. This one's claim to fame is his appetite. At two and a half, he's only about 28 lbs. And he's only 2ft. 9in. tall - a midget compared to my older two. But he eats more than both of them put together! As his father so eloquently put it, "His verbal skills are deteriorating. All he says anymore is, 'Mama, I hungry.'"
The bright blond hair has given way to a darker blond and the adorable toddler has grown into a witty almost-teen. Now entrenched in middle school, this Heathen is making his presence known. He's started the trials of middle school and trying to make sense of why some people are no longer friends and how friendships change as your age. But he is surviving and flourishing. He has begun the trek to Eagle Scout, following in some rather large footprints left by not only his brothers, but his uncles as well. I can't wait to see where this one goes in life. What a difference 8 years can make!
We've almost finished the cast of characters for the home zoo. There is still one main character to go, plus a few minor characters.
This last main character is probably the biggest Heathen in my zoo. And most of the time, he's the ringleader. I've mentioned him a few times already, but he definitely deserves his own introduction.
Daniel - the head heathen & Assistant Zookeeper
We started dating when we were in high school - and twenty plus years later, we still haven't killed each other. Considering how obnoxious I can be at times, how irritating he can be at times, and considering the strong personalities involved on both sides, this is truly amazing! The motorcycle pictured has been gone for several years, followed by an array of other toys. There is always adventure to be had at our Zoo.
That's the end of the main characters. As for the minor characters, there are a quite a few. WE currently have three dogs: Duchess, Bantley, and Zeus. We have three cats: Nina, Tucker, and Sorcia. We also claim approximately a dozen chickens (6 friendlies, 6 not friendlies) and three goats: Anastasia, Sable, and Abeena.
Well, that's the cast of characters at our zoo. Our zoo is always open, and there is no entrance charge except a sense of humor and a willingness to roll with the punches.
Oh! And I forgot, there's me - I'm head zookeeper.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Living With His Mistress
I lead a difficult life - I'm constantly tripping over my husband's mistress. I started their relationship referring to her as his "girlfriend." At this point, I've upgraded her to a mistress. When I speak to her directly, I've called her, "Hey, B****" for years now. We have a loving relationship - as long my the Asst. Zookeeper is not home.
She has developed a new trick - just in the past two weeks. The Asst. Zookeeper's new job requires more travel that in the past. This leaves his mistress home with me. I care for her as I do the Heathens - she is fed, has proper medical care, etc., all during his absence. She loves me when he is not at home. As soon as he walks in the door, I cease to exist.
Her new trick is that she only turns back the bed on HIS side.
She has developed a new trick - just in the past two weeks. The Asst. Zookeeper's new job requires more travel that in the past. This leaves his mistress home with me. I care for her as I do the Heathens - she is fed, has proper medical care, etc., all during his absence. She loves me when he is not at home. As soon as he walks in the door, I cease to exist.
Her new trick is that she only turns back the bed on HIS side.
Whether the Asst. Zookeeper is home or not, I flip the covers back over the bed in the morning - I wouldn't call it "making the bed" as much as a "you can NOT take a nap" deterrent. Since he started to travel more for work, she does this EVERY DAY, even on days that he is home.
When I walked into the bedroom a few minutes ago, I found the above scene. Once she glanced over her shoulder to discover that I was NOT HIM, she immediately went back to looking out the window and ignoring my existence.
NINE YEARS I have lived with this female. At her current age of 12, I'm sure we are on the downward side of our relationship. She can no longer go for runs with me (although she wants to and I have to sneak out the door with the other dogs). But she still manages this type of nonsense - making sure that I know which of us she prefers above all others. Well done, Duchess.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Conversation and Time vs. A Card
I'll admit to not being a fan of Mother's Day - especially since I had Heathens. At the Zoo, we celebrate big occasions in a big way. Small occasions we tend to let slip by.
While we celebrate the Heathens birthdays, we let our own birthdays and anniversary come and go with little fanfare.
I don't need candy, flowers, a card, or some other present to make me feel loved as a mother. Never have. My Heathens and Asst. Zookeeper love me everyday.
I feel loved as a mother when at the ages of 10 and 14, the Heathens come a give me a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door for the bus in the mornings.
I feel loved as a mother when I seem overwhelmed and either Heathen #1 or the Asst. Zookeeper looks at me and says, "What do you need me to do to help?"
I feel loved as a mother when the older Heathens return from a weekend camping trip and want to tell me everything that happened BEFORE they raid the refrigerator.
I feel loved as a mother when the littlest Heathen asks for a "Mommy and Me Day - like when I was little and the boys were in school."
I feel loved as a mother when one of them had a rough day, and simply asks for a hug - as though I still have magical powers like they believed when they were small.
I feel loved as a mother when the Heathens tell others that they know everything will work out for the best, because the Head Zookeeper said so - and she always makes it work.
I feel loved as a mother when my Heathens ask how MY day was at work - and then wait to hear my response because they genuinely want to know.
I feel loved as a mother when my Heathens tell others that they are unavailable for something because they have a "family commitment" and they aren't upset to miss a chance to go to the movies to attend a young cousin's birthday party instead.
I don't need a card or flowers - I need their love, which they share with me every day.
I did receive an over-the-shoulder "Happy Mother's Day" from one of the older two Heathens after spending an hour talking to me about their weekend. I'll take the conversation over the words any day.
Love my Heathens. And cards or flowers don't make the difference. At least, not for me.
While we celebrate the Heathens birthdays, we let our own birthdays and anniversary come and go with little fanfare.
I don't need candy, flowers, a card, or some other present to make me feel loved as a mother. Never have. My Heathens and Asst. Zookeeper love me everyday.
I feel loved as a mother when at the ages of 10 and 14, the Heathens come a give me a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door for the bus in the mornings.
I feel loved as a mother when I seem overwhelmed and either Heathen #1 or the Asst. Zookeeper looks at me and says, "What do you need me to do to help?"
I feel loved as a mother when the older Heathens return from a weekend camping trip and want to tell me everything that happened BEFORE they raid the refrigerator.
I feel loved as a mother when the littlest Heathen asks for a "Mommy and Me Day - like when I was little and the boys were in school."
I feel loved as a mother when one of them had a rough day, and simply asks for a hug - as though I still have magical powers like they believed when they were small.
I feel loved as a mother when the Heathens tell others that they know everything will work out for the best, because the Head Zookeeper said so - and she always makes it work.
I feel loved as a mother when my Heathens ask how MY day was at work - and then wait to hear my response because they genuinely want to know.
I feel loved as a mother when my Heathens tell others that they are unavailable for something because they have a "family commitment" and they aren't upset to miss a chance to go to the movies to attend a young cousin's birthday party instead.
I don't need a card or flowers - I need their love, which they share with me every day.
I did receive an over-the-shoulder "Happy Mother's Day" from one of the older two Heathens after spending an hour talking to me about their weekend. I'll take the conversation over the words any day.
Love my Heathens. And cards or flowers don't make the difference. At least, not for me.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Hugs, Hula Hoops, Water Slides, and Misbehavior
It has been a month since my Gram's passing - and I still think of her everyday. I'm sure I will for many days yet to come.
My Heathens have reached the point where they remember happy moments with her again. Ice cream, her candy dish when she would tell them to take a handful after I had said they could have just a few. Her bird clock now hangs in my kitchen - chirping out the hours 24 hours a day. No one else wanted the silly thing, but it brings my Heathens such happiness. They know how she loved her bird-watching. And when they hear the clock chirp, they yell, "Hi, Great Gram! Love you!" towards the kitchen - which never fails to make me smile.
My Gram was such a major part of my life. After my grandfather's death when I was twelve, Gram was always with us - she did everything except sleep at our house. She was at basketball & volleyball games, wrestling matches, concerts - always cheering us on and pointing out to anyone and everyone which ones where HER grandchildren. I never doubted her love for me.
By choosing to raise my own children in town, our extended family grew - Gram started attending school concerts for great grandchildren, running errands with small children in tow, lunch dates with small blond boys. She was at every holiday meal at my mother's house. Although "old-fashioned" in nature, my Heathens were blessed to spend so much time with her.
Gram always met you with a hug and made sure you left with another hug - she wasn't skimpy with her affection. Most hugs were accompanied by a huge kiss on the cheek and her telling you that she loved your and how glad she was to see you.
After my grandfather died, instead of shutting herself into her house - she remade her life. I can only imagine the courage and strength it took for her to do that. And she continued to have fun - despite what people thought was appropriate for her age.
My Aunt Paula organized a surprise luau for Gram's 70th birthday. One of her grandchildren talked her into the hula hoop:
When she was in her mid-eighties, she and I took a trip to the local swimming pool - taking my 3 Heathens, as well as the youngest two grandchildren (5 children under driving age). One of the children joking asked her to go down the water slide. She grinned and headed for the steps.
My Heathens have reached the point where they remember happy moments with her again. Ice cream, her candy dish when she would tell them to take a handful after I had said they could have just a few. Her bird clock now hangs in my kitchen - chirping out the hours 24 hours a day. No one else wanted the silly thing, but it brings my Heathens such happiness. They know how she loved her bird-watching. And when they hear the clock chirp, they yell, "Hi, Great Gram! Love you!" towards the kitchen - which never fails to make me smile.
My Gram was such a major part of my life. After my grandfather's death when I was twelve, Gram was always with us - she did everything except sleep at our house. She was at basketball & volleyball games, wrestling matches, concerts - always cheering us on and pointing out to anyone and everyone which ones where HER grandchildren. I never doubted her love for me.
By choosing to raise my own children in town, our extended family grew - Gram started attending school concerts for great grandchildren, running errands with small children in tow, lunch dates with small blond boys. She was at every holiday meal at my mother's house. Although "old-fashioned" in nature, my Heathens were blessed to spend so much time with her.
Gram always met you with a hug and made sure you left with another hug - she wasn't skimpy with her affection. Most hugs were accompanied by a huge kiss on the cheek and her telling you that she loved your and how glad she was to see you.
After my grandfather died, instead of shutting herself into her house - she remade her life. I can only imagine the courage and strength it took for her to do that. And she continued to have fun - despite what people thought was appropriate for her age.
My Aunt Paula organized a surprise luau for Gram's 70th birthday. One of her grandchildren talked her into the hula hoop:
When she was in her mid-eighties, she and I took a trip to the local swimming pool - taking my 3 Heathens, as well as the youngest two grandchildren (5 children under driving age). One of the children joking asked her to go down the water slide. She grinned and headed for the steps.
She didn't head for the small slide on the left. She headed for the slide on the RIGHT - that requires several flights of stairs to reach the top. And DOWN SHE WENT! When she popped to the surface of the water, all five children were cheering as though she had just won a gold medal. The teenage lifeguard looked as though he was going to die at the idea of fishing her out of the water. She got out, giggled, and said she thought once a day was enough. (My mother was quite upset that I "allowed" her to do such a thing at her age!)
When we made arrangements for her haircut, we would always decide what type of trouble we were going to cause while we were out together. And when I would take her home, I would tell her to misbehave until I came back. She would giggle and tell me to misbehave as well.
Then I would get my guaranteed hug and "I love you" before I headed out the door. I always told her I had more trouble to cause and she would giggle again. When I would arrive the next time, she would ask me what kind of trouble I had been causing.
Unfortunately, there will be no more hugs or giggles for a while. I was sure that I wouldn't be told to go cause trouble (after all, I am an "adult").
Then this arrived in the mail on the inside of a card:
So, there will be more trouble, and giggling! I just need to be reminded. Look out, World, the Heathens and I have a mission of misbehavior in honor of Great Gram. I'm sure we will do her proud.
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