Saturday, March 24, 2012

$5 Puppies & Dirt Bikes

Two of my three Heathens have birthdays in the next two weeks (March 28, April 2).  So the Asst. Zookeeper and I have been brainstorming about this year's presents.

Since we now live in the country and have ground - and a neighbor that allows Heathens on his land - we decided the Heathens should have dirt bikes or quads.  The decision was the easy part, locating affordable ones was a different story.  But the Asst. Zookeeper did some looking around and found what we needed.

At this point, I need to mention that over the years, I have managed to take us to some weird and creepy places when I've looked for puppies.  Granted, I never paid more than $50 for a pure bred and $5 for a mutt, but they were located in some backwoods, creepy places.  And the Asst. Zookeeper has constantly mentioned it ever since it occurred the first time.  Now, as we drive, if we pass a place that looks creepy or rundown, he will turn and look at me, smile, and then comment, "I bet they have $5 puppies!"

This time, the tables turned.

Last Saturday afternoon, while Heathen #1 was out of town, we put the younger two Heathens in the truck and told them we were going for a road trip to "look at equipment."  Grandma had told them they would like the trip, and they were certain she would be right.  According to Heathen #2, "Grandma said the gob cake was good, so she'll be right again."  Nothing like Heathen logic to make you go, "Huh?"

According to the owner, the bikes were near Brookville, not far from DuBois - a little over two hours from the Zoo.  When we passed Brookville High School, we still hadn't found the road we needed.  After a second phone call, we discovered that this guy lived practically in GROVE CITY - which we had taken the long way to get to because of his weird directions!

The directions included a lot of dirt roads with no visible road signs.  And what he told us was no more than 10 miles was much closer to 25!  After seeing where the man lived and the secluded area, I was surprised that he even had a cell phone. 

As we pulled into the man's "lane" Heathen #2 warned his father not to hit the man's motorcycles - not realizing yet why we we there.  As the Heathens go out of the truck, Heathen #3 asked if we had brought them to ride the dirt bikes - they only realized we were there to BUY them after another 15 minutes or so.

At one point, the man mentioned that he had been keeping the bikes in his house.  I struggled not to snort as Heathen #2 stared at the man strangely, turned to look at the man's detached garage, and then turned back to stare at the man as if to say, "What are you? Nuts?  You have a GARAGE!"  When the man went into his HOUSE to get a new spark plug, Heathen #2 leaned over to me and whispered, "CREEEEEEEPY!"

At no point in this entire interaction at this man's house did he ever speak to me.  Even when I spoke directly to him, he just looked at me.  CREEEEEPY!

After loading the bikes into the back of the truck, we followed the man to the closest notary in the town of Seneca.  When Sheetz is the biggest this in town, it should probably be downgraded to a "little town," just one or two steps above "village."

At this point, the Heathens needed to use the bathroom and the notary did not have one.  The man told the Asst. Zookeeper that there was one just down the street at the gas station that the boys could use.  Then he looked at my husband and asked (I kid you NOT!) "Does she DRIVE?"

He then proceeded to follow me out the door and warn me about the heavy traffic on the road and give me directions three times how to turn LEFT and go to the gas station.  I must have been drooling on myself that day without being aware of it.  Does she DRIVE?  Really?  And the heavy traffic he was warning me about was maybe two cars on the road - I wouldn't even count it as "traffic" much less "heavy traffic."

The Asst. Zookeeper and I laughed with the Heathens about our trip while we were eating dinner in Grove City that night.  Since we had made the unexpected trip there, we were able to pick up the new whitewater boat for Heathen #3 on the same day instead of having to make a second trip the following day - SCORE!

Heathen #2 is on the red bike Heathen #1 is on
the purple quad.



Heathen #3 on his red dirt bike.
Birthday Presents 2012 = Happy Heathens!
 As though in proof of how happy the Heathens were riding around the farm behind us on their birthday presents, this rainbow popped up and was visible for quite a while!


And their birthdays get better still.  Grandma and Pappy decided to get them one big present to share instead of individual gifts.  And here is what showed up at the Zoo:

Thank you Grandma and Pappy!

As the Asst. Zookeeper put, "God help the first one of them that tells me he is bored and there is NOTHING to do this summer!"

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