The Armpit Discussion

YMCA swimming lessons began again for the new year. Heathens #2 and #3 take lessons during the entire school year, while Heathen #1 swims for the team. Last night was the first lesson of 2010.

This entire school year, the Heathens have had females for swimming instructors, simply by luck of the draw. This sessions, they both have a younger gentleman by the name of Josh.

They have both had Josh before, last school year. And I'm going to say right now that he is a good instructor. And the "armpit discussions" were not caused by anything he did.

After lessons, I put the Heathens into the car to head for home. As I was buckling him into his seat, Heathen #3 announced that, "Josh has stuff under his arms!" He said it in the same tone of voice one would use announcing that someone was seen sneaking off with a married man. Heathen #2 piped right it with, "Yeah! None of the other teachers have stuff in their armpits!"

So I spent the next few minutes explaining that the "stuff" was hair. Yes, all adults have hair in their armpits. Yes, I do too, but I shave. No, Josh doesn't shave his armpits. Yes, it's just girls that shave their armpits. No, boys do not shave their armpits. Yes, I have seen other boys' armpits before. No, Daddy doesn't shave his armpits. Yes, you can see Daddy's armpits just as soon as we get home.

God LOVE the Asst. Zookeeper. I trooped into the house with the younger two Heathens. We located their father laying on the bed with his laptop. Heathen #3 said, "Daddy, can I see your armpit?" He didn't even ask why or look at the Heathen strangely. He simply raised one arm over his head and continued to check his email.

Unfortunately, the Asst. Zookeeper was wearing a t-shirt, which covered any visible armpit hair. So, of course, Heathen #3 had to crawl up on the bed to pull the shirt sleeve aside and stick his head into his father's armpit. Again, the Asst. Zookeeper just continued to check his email.

After quizing his father about armpit hair and who has it and who doesn't (please see paragraph describing car ride home), Heathen #3 looked at me and asked for a snack. He was satisfied with his new found knowledge and was once again thinking with his stomach. All was, once again, right in his world.