Surviving 3 Sons... So Far

Crunchy Tacos, Snickers, Corn on the Cob

2012-02-06T07:21:00.000-08:00

The list of things Heathen #1 has not been permitted to eat for 2 years due to his braces. While there is actually a much larger list, these were the items that he actually missed eating. For the past two years, when he grumbles about his braces, these are the three items that he claimed he would eat for dinner the day his braces came off.

After two years, that day arrived this past Thursday. I stopped and bought his two Snickers bars before I even retrieved him from the school. This is the LAST photo of Heathen #1 with his braces.

The Last "Metallic" Smile

He still didn't want to smile, but I told him I was holding the Snickers bars as ransom.

An hour later, he was back in the car, the proud owner of retainers and two Snickers bars.

Look how STRAIGHT!!!

We drove from the dentist's office straight to Taco Bell, where Heathen #1 happily ate crunchy tacos for lunch. He wriggled in his seat like a puppy the entire time he ate!

The corn on the cob is in the fridge...

I thought the braces coming off would mean an end to dentist phone calls (knocking a bracket off, etc.) But I was wrong. He got the retainers on Thursday. Saturday afternoon, I was informed that the retainers are too loose and he needs to have them tightened.

So I called the dentist....

A Corpse and a Resurrection

2012-02-06T07:13:00.000-08:00

The Zoo only functions when the Zookeeper is running on all pistons. The fuel for this model happens to be CAFFEINE - to which anyone who lives near me can attest. See Zookeeper, see coffee cup in hand (usually from the Coffee Gods at Sheetz!).

The filling station at the Zoo has been "wonky" for the past few weeks. The LED clock on the front would strangely get dim, but then turn bright again. No trouble - could care less if the clock works. It is the ON button that concerns me.

Sometimes when pushed, the ON button would stay "on" and make fuel. Other times, the ON button would click back "off" and nothing would happen. Which means I would arrive at the station with coffee cup in hand to find NOTHING.

After two weeks of playing this game, I'd had ENOUGH. On the station's last morning, I thought I was going to burst into tears. Even holding the ON button "on," it was clicking right back off. After watching me fuss for several minutes and whine in the kitchen, Heathen #1 calmly walked over to the refrigerator and wrote on the shopping list "coffee machine." Then he brought the list over to where I was whining in front of the machine and said, "Look, Mom. It will be okay."

Sadly enough, all three Heathens eagerly helped me shop for a new coffee maker. They know what makes the Zoo run! They spent quite a bit of time reading boxes and arguing cases for different machines while the Asst. Zookeeper watched us as though we were all crazy.

Corpse (left) and the Resurrection (right)

To the Corpse: You served me well for many years. I can't begin to count the number of cups you brewed. Thank you.

To the Resurrection: You have a very large spot on the counter to fill. Be diligent and speedy in your work. You have assumed a great responsibility. Best of luck!

Gang Signs and Jellyfish

2012-02-03T05:37:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, the younger two Heathens and I visited the Baltimore Aquarium with our Cub Scout Pack. Since we took a charter bus, I didn't even have to drive! And there were lots of people for the Heathens to talk to, so I didn't even have to talk - I got to sleep on the bus!

Outside the Aquarium and impatiently
awaiting our entrance time!

The U.S.S. Torsk is docked in the harbor right beside the Aquarium entrance. The Heathens loved the painting of the shark teeth on the front.

Heathen #2 seems to be throwing
some sort of gang sign. Not really
sure just WHAT he's doing!

This sculpture was outside the Barnes & Noble along the waterfront. We were able to waste a good ten minutes of wait-time while the two Heathens discussed how it was made.

Both Heathens are holding their clipboards that contain
the Aquarium scavenger hunt. Immediately upon entering the
Aquarium, they decided they didn't want to do it - so I got
to carry the clipboards and pens for the day!

Isn't this the COOLEST shot?

At the Aquarium, it was Australia Day. Thus, during the Animal Encounter, the Heathens were introduced to Rufus (left), who was a Blue-Tongued Skink, and Ned (right), who was a Bearded Dragon. The Heathens had a GREAT view of the critters!

The Heathens loved the aboriginal rock drawing in one part of the Aquarium. Can you tell they have their picture taken A LOT?

After walking around the corner from the rock painting, the Heathens were in for a really COOL surprise! The Aquarium had a didgeridoo player and the children were allowed to make their own rock paintings!

The Aquarium had an exhibit titled Jellies Invasion that was tanks and tanks of different types of jellyfish. The Heathens and I could have stayed in this section all day. They were mesmerizing to watch move through the water and they were all SO different!

The Heathens LOVED these upside-down jellyfish
that live on the bottom of the tank. They were my
favorite, too!

We watched the dolphin show and I managed to catch a shot of two dolphins in the air at the same time! We also watched a 4D film titled One Planet that blew wind and rain and snow at us, along with the sensation of animals running at your feet. It was very cool, although the Heathens weren't all that excited when the shark jumped on screen and the chair poked you in the back to scare you!

The Aquarium has a long line of these bubble tubes. So mesmerizing. It's hard to see in the picture, but the Heathens have their hands on the tubes. You can actually feel the vibration of the bubbles as they rumble to the top of the tube!

And, another gang sign from Heathen #2! Again, WHAT is he doing and what made him do it? SOOOO weird!

Four-Eyed Issues

2012-01-26T07:00:00.000-08:00

Heathen #2 wears glasses. And he loves his glasses - he spent over an hour choosing the frames on our last visit to the optometrist. This is the best picture of him where the glasses are visible.

He choose a style that is truly HIM. Unlike many people's children, he's never broken his glasses. He never comes home with them all bent up. He's really good about taking them off for times where they could get broken.

And then, in true-Zoo fashion, the "Luck of the Glasses" ran out this week.

Heathen #2 called from school Monday immediately after breaking his glasses. He was obviously upset that they were broken. Imagining only a bent frame or a popped out lens, I told him not to worry about it. Just put the pieces in a baggie and bring it home. I could have them fixed.

My expectations.

Once off the bus, I was presented with "the glasses," held at the end of an outstretched arm as though they were contagious or had a foul odor. And this is NOT what I was expecting:

The Dismembered Corpse and the Coffin

The lenses were the only thing still intact! No bent frame for my Heathens! That would be WAY to close to normal for this Zoo! While this looks like the work of a child that HATES his glasses, I knew that wasn't true. Just our typical, everyday Zoo life with the Heathens.

After my heart started to beat again after the shock of seeing "the body", I realized that Heathen #2 was watching me with the "I'm in so much trouble" look. And I understood why.

Since he started wearing glasses, if the glasses are not on his face, I ask where they are. Then I send him to get them. Any time I find them laying somewhere, I call him over to get the "These Are Expensive, Take Care of Them" speech.

Apparently, he actually listened to those speeches and was now awaiting his execution.

I smiled and said, "That's why I bought the warranty that covers Heathens." A short jaunt to the optometrist's this afternoon, $15 and the glasses are good as new and will be awaiting him when he steps off the bus.

I wonder if the optometrist will give "the body" a proper burial...

World Erasers per the Heathens

2012-01-23T12:43:00.000-08:00

Heathen #3 has a book that he purchased at the local book store. It is a cross between a doodle book and a journal for small children. The pages contain everything from pictures to questions for the children to answer. Currently, he carries it everywhere. For example, right now it is in his backpack so that he can "doodle" on the bus.

Sunday, it went in the car to church. This is the conversation I overheard from the seat behind me.

Heathen #3 (reading from the doodle book): If you could erase one thing from the world, what would it be?

Heathen #2: That's easy! Death! Everyone could live forever! Or sickness - people would never get sick.

At this point, I'm getting ready to nominate Heathen #2 for Miss America. He seems to be pageant-prepared! And I was actually a little proud. He wasn't thinking of something to directly benefit himself.

Heathen #3: Why would you erase sickness when you could skip school FOREVER!?!?!?

At which point I almost lost it. He was HORRIFIED by Heathen #2's suggestions. And the funny part is that Heathen #3 LIKES school! But then I hear from the seat beside me...

Heathen #1: Good, Lord. Would you listen to those two?

I didn't have the heart to tell him that the Asst. Zookeeper and I still listen to HIM with the same type of reaction.

The Half Birthday

2012-01-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

Heathen #3 had the misfortune (according to him) of being born in the summer. He's as close to mid-summer as you can possibly get at July 14th. The reason for this misfortune - your party always gets moved away from your birthday because people are on vacation!

This past summer was busier than most for our Zoo - and his birthday party kept getting pushed back farther and farther in the hopes of the schedule clearing up a bit. No such luck. Before I knew it, school had started! And then it was Halloween, and then Thanksgiving.... You see how this is going.

I'd like to say that Heathen #3 forgot ALL about having a birthday party, but I would be lying. Several times a week since mid-July, he's asked when we are having his party. Every few days. Without fail.

He also started asking his teacher when he could bring in his birthday snack to school. Obviously, since I failed to make sure he had a party, Ms. Krise was going to fail to allow his the snack as well! Guilty by association - Sorry, Ms. Krise!

After the exchange of several emails, it was decided that he could take in his birthday snack for his "half" birthday on January 17th. Seeing this as my perfect opportunity, I scheduled the birthday party!

Here's the evidence of an evening at the local Wacky Bear with "The Cousins."

After much discussion, Heathen #3 has agreed to have his birthday celebrated early every year. From now of, his birthday will be celebrated over Fourth of July - no more "Half" parties!

Church Going Heathens

2012-01-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

We've always been a church family. My Heathens actually think it is strange when other people say they DON'T go to church. The comment is always, "Why not?" I always feel a small amount of pride in that my Heathens understand and we've actually managed to impart that to them.

Church going with Heathens has not always been the easiest attempt. There have been a number of times, when the Heathens were much younger, that I gathered them up from our pew and left due to bad behavior and headed for the car. There have been thousands of trips to the bathroom. And at least a hundred arguments just before service started about "No, you are too old to be in the nursery any more."

And yet, Sunday mornings, I rouse the Heathens, force them into dress clothes (& shoes!) and we head for Trinity. And the silly people there still SMILE at us when we walk in after all these years.

This Sunday was no different that most. Grouchy Heathens that didn't want to get out of bed. But we got to church and made it through Sunday School without mishap. And that's when Heathen #3's luck seemed to turn south.

Heathen #3 decided about a year ago, that if HE has to st through Sunday service in the sanctuary, so are his brothers. Immediately following his Sunday School class, he starts looking for them - that way it is easier to tattle. Yesterday, he came running to tell me that Heathen #1 was hiding in the nursery, spun o his heel and headed back to go get him.

Before I could stop him, he threw open the door to the nursery and informed his oldest brother that he wasn't allowed in there, he was too old, Mom knew where he was, and he had to come sit in church too! At this point, I had reached the nursery as well, just in time to hear Pastor tell Heathen #3 that they were almost done with Confirmation class. Oops.

The Heathens have rules that MUST be followed during service. 1. You MUST be quiet. 2. You can doodle or draw or entertain yourself QUIETLY. 3. When the congregation stands, you WILL stand respectfully. 4. When the congregation prays, you WILL fold your hands and bow your head. 5. No misbehavior is tolerated. 6. If you must use the restroom, you leave while the congregation is standing and return when they are standing.

At the beginning of service, Heathen #3 managed to bang his head off the pew in front of us somehow. I'm really not sure how. It made a nice loud, resonant THUNK - and it was during a time of silent prayer, so EVERYONE in the sanctuary heard it. He managed to not screech or fuss. He held his breath and turned really red while we rubbed his head. Every older person in the church could be seen with their shoulders shaking as they tried to laugh quietly. There was no mistaking that sound.

During the next prayer, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning just a bit, I realized that Heathen #3 was making shadow puppets on the pew in front of us. The sun was coming over our shoulder and the shadows were on the seat in front of us. He actually does a pretty good butterfly.

Shortly thereafter, the sermon began. As Pastor started to speak, beside me from Heathen #1 mutter to himself, "Let the boring begin." I managed to keep my chuckles to myself.

During this particular service, I was being installed as a new church council member. About 5 minutes before the installation was to start, Heathen #1 left for the restroom, with instructions to hurry back. When I had to go forward for the installation, I didn't want to leave Heathen #3 in the pew alone. Heathen #2 was at the front of the church, serving as the acolyte.

Installation time arrives and Heathen #1 is still MIA. I gave Heathen #3 instructions to stand up and behave during the installation and that I would be right back. I received a very serious, "Yes, ma'am." Then I headed for the front.

After being installed, I headed back to the pew. As I approached close enough to see where I had left Heathen #3, I didn't see a little blond head. Instead, I found a round little BUTT clad in church pants sticking up in the air! He was attempting to stand on his head in the pew, much to the amusement of the older couples sitting behind him!

Stepping into the pew, I picked him up around the waist, put his feet on the floor and faced him forward - while listening to the chuckling behind me. When I leaned down to ask WHAT he thought he was doing, I was informed that he couldn't see over everyone during the installation, as though that was the perfect excuse for the attempted head-stand. When I mentioned this, I was informed that a pew was the perfect place to practice headstands since the back of the pew kept you from falling over!

At the next hymn, Heathen #1 finally returned from the bathroom. I asked what had taken so long. He gave me the strangest look and told me (as though I was stupid) that he had to stand in the hall outside the sanctuary and wait for the congregation to stand up before he could come back in.

Heaven help me...

Bring It ON!

2012-01-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

This is the Zoo's January 2012 calendar. It does NOT include my teaching schedule for this semester ( 9 hours of teaching and a GRAND 13 hours of driving), nor does it include the Sunday afternoon soccer schedule for Heathen #3 as we haven't received it yet. Sunday's also don't have Sunday School, Confirmation, or Service written in either.

The three Heathens are in the background. I have the crown and scepter!

So far, this month is par for the course. Let the Wild Rumpus... I mean the New Year BEGIN!

A Man's Man

2012-01-03T06:41:00.000-08:00

The Asst. Zookeeper and I often discuss other people - not in a mean, gossipy sort of way, more in a "what makes people tick" kind of way. We enjoy the differences between people and how it affects their interactions.

He and I established YEARS ago that he (the Asst. Zookeeper) is a "guy." He calls himself a "Man's Man." He can fix jut about anything and he works with his hands. There is very little softness about him - unless you bring children into the room.

This is one of my favorite photos of him as it shows his personality (and size!):

At almost 6'4", 220lbs, the Asst. Zookeeper is not a small man. And he definitely does NOT have a small personality. He's one of those guys that can fill a room by himself without making any effort.

All of this is build-up to the next two photos. Last evening, I walked into the living room to discover this:

Before the Asst. Zookeeper
realized I was taking his photo.

The photo is not of the beer in his hand or the hat on his head. It isn't even the contradiction of the clothing he's wearing and the chair he is sitting in. Look at what crawled into his lap and made herself at home!

The 2-pound kitten, Sorcia, decided that he looked like a good lap to sit in. She apparently crawled into his lap and then wiggled herself into his vest for her own cozy little spot. It's hard to tell from the photo, but I'm pretty sure he was sitting there rubbing her paws. He swears that "kitty paws" (as HE calls them) are the softest things ever.

The smirk on his face shows that
I was caught taking this photo!

I think I'll keep the Asst. Zookeeper. Rough and tough, but still soft enough. Love ya, Babe!

Christmas Tally COMPLETE

2012-01-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas season is completed - and I "believe" I may have retained my sanity. Maybe. Still not sure.
It was definitely a busy season, and the Zoo wouldn't have it any other way. Here are the totals:

Visitors to the Zoo: 42
Heathen visits outside of the Zoo: 3 houses for an additional 9 friends & family
Sleepovers: 2 (Heathen #1's friends were all out of town this year!)
Shared meals with family & friends (at the Zoo or elsewhere): 53

Here are some of the photos I snapped of the season:

Heathens 1, 3, and 2 (left to right)
taken BEFORE the presents were opened
all thinking: HURRY UP MOM!

Heathen #2 scored on the amount
of Duct Tape (both from Santa
and relatives). Most of the 27 rolls
are already used up!

Heathen #3 unwraps a huge cardboard
house that is colorable. Santa
forgot to check and see if it came
with markers! Oops!

Heathen #1 was already plotting
to fly his plane an chucklin
about dive-bombing cows.
The Zookeeper promptly gave him
a dirty look. :)

The Asst. Zookeeper is wearing his required
Santa hat as he watches the chaos and flying wrapping
paper in the room before him. I think he might have
been sleeping with his eyes open - but he responded
appropriately when someone spoke to him!

No Christmas is complete without watching the children's Christmas pageant at church. The oldest Heathen has moved from Sunday School to Confirmation and is no longer a part of it (much to my dismay). The younger two Heathens still participate. It's one of my FAVORITE Sundays all year!

The younger Heathens ready for the
Christmas pageant to start!

During the March of the Christmas Children as the Heathens
and the rest of the children were moving through the Sanctuary.

Every year, the Sunday School children include the March of the Christmas Children at the end of their pageant. They always move through the Sanctuary so that everyone can see their costumes and hear them sing. If you have not heard this song, it is worth a few minutes to click on the link I've provided. I watch the "Church Ladies" (as dubbed by the Heathens) cry and wipe their eyes as they have huge smiles on their faces every year.

Birthday Boy!

2011-12-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

Aunt Dani got the honor of hosting Ozark's first birthday party here in PA. Although I know he had a party in TX and there is another planned for CA, it was still lots of fun!

In one house, we had people from CA, PA, OH, TX and a few other states if we count birth locations. With a crew of approximately 20 family members, Ozark smashed cake and had a good time!

Ozark's personal cake.

The cake for the family.

He was so civilized to start - using a spoon.

The first taste of icing!

Civilization is over-rated. He needs a drink to wash
down all the icing!

To Aunt Dani's delight: he had icing in his hair!

Opening presents with Mom and Dad.

Happy Birthday, Ozark!

To Ozark: Happy Birthday! I wish you lived closer, so I'll just have to steal the moments I can.

To Rhys and Michelle: Thanks for sharing him with me. :) I love birthday parties! Congrats on surviving the first year of parenthood. Just a few more years to go.

Newest Zoo Arrivals

2011-12-28T12:11:00.000-08:00

All Zoos have a constant influx of animals. Some arrive with planning on everyone's part. Others arrive when the Zookeeper says, "Awwww! I want them!"

Thus, the arrival of Sorchia and Tucker, a set of litter mates. Tucker (cream-colored) is male. Sorchia (black & white) is female. Both just over a pound when they arrived at the Zoo, they are ALMOST four pounds together at this point. Although, from they way they eat, they should weigh a lot more.

They have spent the past few weeks playing in the end of the garlands in the hallway. This was the latest "battle" that I witnessed.

Tucker says, "These are my garlands."
Sorchia says, "You think?"

Tucker says, "STOP looking at the garlands, they are mine!"
Sorchia says, "Eeeeek!"

Tucker says, "You can have them."
Sorchia says, "I knew they were mine anyway."

Replay this battle a minimum of 20 times a day. You can put in your own conversation. Alternate the winner about 50% of the time.

Welcome to life at the Zoo!

Icing & Sprinkles EVERYWHERE

2011-12-28T11:58:00.000-08:00

Saturday, December 17th was a BUSY day at the Zoo! I roused the Heathens out of bed "early" on a Saturday morning. We had people to pick up and places to be!

First stop, picking up Noah Logan, Ili Grace, and Wyatt. Turned out, Gertrude had spent the night at her house - I managed to pick up four kids instead of just three! Second stop was to pick up Skinny Minnie. By 8:45, I had a car full of 8 children (ages 13 to 3) and we were headed for breakfast with Santa.

Breakfast with Santa was great! There was only one problem. Santa's helper that day was Pappy. As soon as the grandchildren heard his voice, their heads all snapped around and they narrowed their eyes at Santa. Breakfast was finished with lots of sticky syrup for the pancakes and lots of suspicious looks at Santa.

While the younger 2 Heathens had final rehearsal for the Christmas pageant, I took the other 6 children to the grocery store to purchase more "decorations." Although I had already been to the store, I knew I didn't have enough sprinkles, icing or "stuff" for them to put on their cookies.

Taking six children to the grocery store is interesting. We went to the store where I normally shop with my three Heathens. This time, I had twice as many kids and only 1 of them was mine. After 20 minutes of shopping, we had Christmas M&Ms, marshmallows, sprinkles, and icing in multiple tubes and containers ready for checkout. It was basically a big purchase of sugar in various forms.

We picked up the younger two Heathens and headed to the Zoo. The kiddos all watched Rudolph while I made macaroni and cheese for lunch. I thought water took forever to boil when there were three hungry Heathens. It takes MUCH longer when there are 8 of the staring at the water in the pot!

Once fed, I separated the kiddos into two rooms for decorating. The youngest three stayed in the kitchen, while the oldest five headed for the dining room. Here are the kiddos with their favorite cookie they decorated:

Heathen #2

Skinny Minnie

Gertrude

Meatball

Ili Grace

Heathen #3

Heathen #1

Noah Logan

There were sprinkles and icing everywhere! All things considered, the kiddos where unbelievably NEAT. A quick wipe of the table and a swipe of the vacuum and everything was picked up!

The only casualty was a spilled glass of milk that found it's way into Skinny Minnie's lap. She finished decorating in a pair of Heathen shorts while her jeans were in the washer.

Then (the best part), I packed up all the over-sugared kiddos, their cookie creations, and TOOK THEM HOME!

Collar Embarassment

2011-12-16T11:07:00.000-08:00

The Dogs went to Petco for their monthly "spa" day. I take them to Petco for two reasons. First, the Dogs are both big enough to be a pain to bathe at home without making the whole Zoo smell like wet dog. And second, I hate smelling like a wet dog after I finish bathing them!

"Spa" day is one of the Dogs favorites. It combines some of their favorite pass times: car rides, water, attention, and snacks. When I pull in at Petco, they start whimpering in the back because I won't take them inside fast enough.

This is what I found when I picked them up a few hours later:

Duchess

Bantley

They turned my Dogs into poodles! Usually, the Dogs come home with a bandana tied around their necks. The bandanas they love - if you take them off before they fall off, the Dogs will whimper. The frilly collar was in place of the bandana for the holidays.

My Dogs look like lapdogs - but they love the collars! Heathen #1 took it off Bantley, who promptly tried to stick his head back into it!

Here's the best part: instead of looking ferocious when they play, they look STUPID!

As each of the Heathens arrived home from school, I heard from the front door, "Momma, WHAT is on the dogs?" Looks like I'm not the only one to think they look ridiculous.

Bobcats & Jingle Bells

2011-12-16T10:41:00.000-08:00

Last evening was the Cub Scout Pack meeting for the month of December. Heathen #3 earned his Bobcat badge! After a lot of work, the boys in Heathen #3's den were thrilled to get their patches.

Heathen #3 (right) and his cousin (left)
are so excited to get their patches!

The den gets their patches. I'm in the green t-shirt, with
Heathen #3 in front of me.

Also at the Pack Meeting, our favorite December person paid a visit! Unfortunately, the Asst. Zookeeper wasn't able to be there (he was at "work").

Heathen #3 with Santa

Heathen #2 with Santa

We were home from the Pack meeting for approximately 15 minutes before the Asst. Zookeeper arrived home from "work." The younger two Heathens were convinced that the Asst. Zookeeper had played Santa that evening at the Pack meeting.

The Asst. Zookeeper promptly called his evening maintenance foreman at the mine and asked him to explain to the Heathens that he had been at work all evening. Thanks to Mike Gerber for talking to the Heathens so that they knew Daddy had been at work!

"Rescue Stupid" Boots

2011-12-12T05:04:00.000-08:00

Every morning, the Dogs eagerly wait at the back door so that they can go out and stare at the Huge Rabbits that moo at them. It has become a morning ritual at our house. Wake the Heathens. Put a Dog outside. Listen to the barking and mooing commence. All Creatures seem happy with the arrangement.

While Duchess is smart and never gets tangled, Bantley can NOT say the same. It is only 8:00 and for the third time this morning, I looked outside and found this:

Doesn't he look pitiful?

For some reason, if he is outside for more than a minute, he manages to tie himself around this handrail. This "figure 8" isn't the worst he's done. Last night, he literally managed to tie himself to part of the railing. How he did it, I have no idea.

The best part isn't that he continually does this. It isn't even the pitiful look on his face when you discover him. Or even the excitement when he realizes you are coming to rescue him.

The best part is that he thinks you are trying to kill him while you try to unwind him, so he struggles the entire time to tangle himself up farther!

Considering I plan to die in this house, and Bantley is only about 4 years old, I have many more mornings of this to look forward to. In preparation, this morning I placed an old pair of boots at my back door that I can just step into. I've dubbed them my "Rescue Stupid" boots.

Another Milestone Reached

2011-12-07T05:36:00.000-08:00

This year marked another milestone in my "Momma-Life." The youngest Heathen was finally old enough to join Cub Scouts. Now all three are fully involved and in uniform. After spending his entire life (literally) being taken to scout meetings and events, Heathen #3 was impatient for this day to arrive.

And like the crazy-picture lady I am, I had to get the photos to go with it. I've been waiting several YEARS to have these photos taken.

The 3 Heathens and the Asst. Zookeeper.
These gentlemen are my life.

Heathen #1 is currently a Star Scout
in BS Troop 217.

Heathen #2 is a Webelos I Scout
in CS Pack 217.

Heathen #3 is a Tiger Cub
in CS Pack 217.

Yes, Scouting takes up TONS of time for our Zoo. Yes, it takes up TONS of my time, even though I'm just one of the mothers. Yes, it involves evenings, weekends, and summers.

Yes, it has been a true asset to our Zoo. Yes, it has made our Zoo stronger. Yes, the Heathens all love it and so does the Asst. Zookeeper. Yes, Scouting is where I met my best friend.

And, yes, given the choice, I would still sign up the Heathens again.

Mother of the Year Nominaton

2011-12-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

I am so proud of myself. And it is COMPLETELY justified.

Friday was a busy evening at the Zoo. The younger two Heathens had gymnastics in Richland. The largest Heathen had swimming practice in Ebensburg. Both events required Heathens to be there at 5:00 and they are about 20 minutes apart. And the Asst. Zookeeper was at work.

No worries! To the rescue, here comes:

I had it ALL figured out! I'd drop the largest Heathen off for swimming a little bit early. I told him to pack a book. Then I could drive back into Johntown to make it to gymnastics on time with the other two. The Asst. Zookeeper would pick up the oldest on his way home from work - it was perfect.

But it didn't go as planned. I ended up having to stop for gas on my way home from work in Ebensburg on my way to pick up the Heathens. This had us running later than I had planned. We raced to Ebensburg and I only slowed the car enough for Heathen #1 to hop out - reminding him that the Asst. Zookeeper was coming to pick him up.

Then I headed for Johnstown with the other two Heathens in the back seat.

Approximately 10 minutes later, my cell phone rang - it was Heathen #1. "Um, Mom? We don't have swim practice here tonight. Some other team is in the pool."

After quickly calling the swim coach, it was confirmed. Swim practice had been there on THURSDAY night. And I had just stranded my oldest in Ebensburg for an hour and a half!

I quickly called the Asst. Zookeeper at work. He was just getting out of the shower and headed over on the rescue mission.

Meanwhile, the younger two Heathens and I were 15 minutes late for gymnastics due to hitting traffic.

It was so well planned out in my head. When I win "Mother of the Year" (because I know this event will DEFINITELY put me over the top!) I will invite all of my friends with children!

Now, if you will excuse me, I have an acceptance speech to write...

Properly Named Aristocracy

2011-12-02T04:46:00.000-08:00

The Zoo adopted Duchess about four years ago. We found a great Dog for our Zoo that day at the SPCA.

The Asst. Zookeeper had commented for years that one day he wanted to own a mutt, that had one blue eye and one brown eye, and he wanted to name this dog Duke.

I found that Dog at the SPCA one afternoon. But there was one glitch - she had to be a Duchess and not a Duke. But otherwise, she fit the Asst. Zookeeper's qualifications perfectly.

The day we named her, we didn't know how perfectly her name would fit. This Dog is a human stuck in a dog's body. She thinks she is a person. Her feelings get hurt when she doesn't get to participate in things we do. On the rare occasion that she doesn't behave, she mopes around for hours with a pathetic look on her face. She always has a very regal attitude - as though she simply tolerates the rest of us.

Last night, I was changing the curtains in the living room. We bought the new Zoo from an 80+ woman (who is actually MY grandmother's childhood friend!). Needless to say, the Zoo is currently decked out in ruffled curtains - and that SO does NOT work for me.

I took the curtains down and dropped them on the floor while putting up MY curtains. Turning around, this is what I found:

When I asked her to move so that I could get rid of the curtains, she just looked at me and didn't move. This is where she slept last night.

While she was lounging in her curtains this morning, Bantley was sliding across the floor on his pile. He'd get a running start on the far side of the room and jump on them so that he slid across the floor. Then he would stick his nose in them and toss them in the air.

Duchess just lounged and watched him. He's SUCH a commoner. Sniff!

Morning Coffee View

2011-12-02T04:18:00.000-08:00

I had the perfect view while drinking my coffee this morning. Here's what I watched from my dining room:

Met the Neighbors

2011-12-01T05:22:00.000-08:00

For those who are uninformed about the Zoo population, it does not stop at just Heathens. It also currently includes four Cats and two Dogs.

These are the Dogs:

The Asst. Zookeeper is always swarmed when he arrives
home from work. Belly rub time!

Duchess (left) is a shepherd-husky mix.
Bantley (right) is a British lab.
Both are from the SPCA - and are GREAT dogs.

Although I don't know about their lives prior to us adopting them, the Dogs have been "city" Dogs, or "suburb" Dogs since they've lived with us. Small yard, and plenty of cars. The occasional rabbit to chase if they were lucky.

Meet our Neighbors:

We "have" Oreo cows...

and we "have" black cows!

In the week that we've inhabited the new Zoo, the cows have been standing still at the fence and simply watching the Dogs. Occasionally they would moo, but no movement. The Dogs would stare at them (biggest "rabbit" they had ever seen!).

Today, while we were out chasing sticks to burn energy, the Neighbors did something new - one of the cows MOVED. Only moved about two feet - but it MOVED.

Bantley was over in the cow field and through the electric fence before I had time to turn around. Duchess, ever the one in charge, took off after him. (She usually makes him behave, and I could tell from the bark that she was NOT happy that he wasn't listening!)

Bantley chased a black cow up over the hill in the cow field and disappeared over the other side, with Duchess about five seconds behind him.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my dogs. But I am NOT climbing through an electric cattle fence to chase them.

I stood at the fence for about ten seconds called for the Dogs. But I didn't have to worry. The cows chased my Dogs back over the hill and straight to the edge of the fence. Both Dogs had their tails tucked between their legs and headed straight for the back porch.

When I opened the back door, both Dogs headed straight for their crates in the basement. Between knowing they hadn't listened and the scare the cows gave them, the Dogs are still in their crates and it's been an hour. The crate doors are even open, but they know they are in trouble.

Maybe the Dogs will leave the Neighbors alone.... The Asst. Zookeeper and I knew they would meet, I just thought it would happen sooner. If the silly Neighbors would just stand still, the Dogs would continue to stare!

Project Zoo Relocation: Complete!

2011-12-01T05:04:00.000-08:00

Project Zoo Relocation began several months ago. The Asst. Zookeeper and I were sitting on our patio and complaining about having to paint the house. Not because we minded the work, but because there just was never any time to do it - especially with the weather not cooperating.

We ended up discussing purchasing a new home - because it is always better to talk than to actually paint the house! And I think we had talked past dusk again anyway.

We started looking for a larger home about four years ago. It had been a very slow process. We didn't want to leave the school district, wanted another bathroom and another bedroom, and we didn't want to be sandwiched in a tight neighborhood. Definitely cuts down on the available options!

Despite watching the market for four years, we hadn't found anything remotely close to what we wanted. We decided to simply stay where we were until the Heathens had graduated. But then we had to paint the house...

Later that night, the Asst. Zookeeper found this house newly on the market:

3021 Menoher Blvd.

And suddenly, we were moving again! Although it looks small from the front, it was PERFECT for a new Zoo! All Heathens would have their own room, a 2nd bathroom, and 1.5 acres for exercising the animals!

After weeks of the stressful mortgage process, we finally had the word:

I think I caught Heathen #1 mid-chew
or mid-word. Not really sure!

We closed the day before Thanksgiving and moved in on Black Friday. Thanks to the help of both Brother-in-Laws and the Asst. Zookeeper's friend Hutsky (whom the Heathens worship due to the size of his truck), we were moved in a day!

Now, if only someone would magically unpack the boxes for me while I'm gone, that would be awesome! Any takers?

Howdy Partners!

2011-11-16T05:28:00.000-08:00

I love my Heathens school! School can be monotonous - and I am allowed to say that as both a student and a teacher. My Heathens' school does enough "fun" things that they look forward to attending on most days. Today is the perfect example.

Today is Western Day at WHES. Why? I have NO idea - but the Heathens were all over it!

Last night, the younger two Heathens and I spent approximately 2 hours putting together their outfits. This required a trip to Everyday's a Party, Wal-Mart, and 3 shoe stores. But we were successful!

Although it seems silly to have spent the time and money for this one day, it was definitely worth it.
The Heathens were out of bed on their own by 6:30 and dressed by 6:35. This is a task that usually takes me over an hour and is only completed with death threats if they miss the bus.

Here are the results!

The Heathens - and they spent the morning attempting
to speak with western accents!

Heathen #3 is doing his "western dancing"
pose where you hold your belt buckle.
Only he isn't wearing a belt.

Heathen #2 shows off his sheriff's star
and his bolo tie. Can you believe we
found those?

Showing off the boots! We went with
"working" cowboy boots instead of the
"fancy" ones. I convinced them is
was more authentic!

And apparently cowboys all have mustaches!

Kind of creepy looking, isn't it?

Pink Extravaganza!

2011-11-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

This fall, Heathens #2 and #3 traded karate for gymnastics. Still lots of flexibility and burning lots of energy. In the end, it is only the energy burning that I care about! Whatever makes them sleep at night - I will support!

My Heathens have been attending TNT Gymnastics in Richland - and they are LOVING it. In October, the gym had an exhibition to raise money for breast cancer, called the Pink Extravaganza. My Heathens participated!

Walking out at the beginning and waving to the crowd. Can
you tell which of the Heathens was a bit intimidated by the crowd?

Heathen #3 is back on the rings, while
Heathen #2 is on the bars.

Heathen #2.

Heathen #3 posed for the photo and
even smiled!

Heathen #2 works on his upper body strength on the horse.
Heathen #3 lays on the mats waiting his turn.

Heathen #2 on the uneven bars.

Heathen #2 gets his participation
medal from Ms. Jean.

Heathen #3 gets his participation medal
from Ms. Jean.

Scarecrow Invitational

2011-11-11T18:10:00.000-08:00

Heathen #1 recently had his first invitational swim meet of the year. After being OUT of the water for two years, he decided to rejoin the local YMCA team again this year. He swam in three events - and placed in TWO of them!

Heathen #1 placed 7th in the 100 yd freestyle (1:14.49) and he placed 4th in the 100 yd backstroke (1:36.03)

Way to go, Heathen!

Halloween - finally!

2011-11-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

Obviously, I'm a little behind schedule of my blogging. It's been a little crazier than normal at the Zoo!

Heathen #2 actually had three costumes for Halloween this year. Two of the costumes, he made himself!

The Duct Tape costume - that turned
out to be REALLY hot to wear.

The Claw Machine costume - he
has a sock monkey hat on his head.

The third costume was a vampire outfit that we purchased as a backup to his Halloween creations. It never made it out of the house.

Heathen #3 went as Harry Potter. He looked adorable!

He even had the scar!

I'm smiling! Now can I
go beg for candy?

Heathen #1 went as Sam Flynn from Tron. Amazingly, I could NOT locate a costume (even online) that actually lit up. So Heathen #1 and the Asst. Zookeeper (bless his little electrician heart) added LED lights to his costume!

He actually GLOWED in the dark!

As always, we Trick-or-Treated with the cousins! It's great to be able to split into groups based on child-speed and leg-length. Here were the other costumes:

Skinny Minnie

Gertrude

Noah Logan

Meatball

Ili Grace

The kids all brought home a TON of candy and had a great time!

Hippo Eggs

2011-10-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Today, the Heathens woke early (only by FORCE) to attend Heathen #1's swim meet. To their utter delight (and my HORROR), it was snowing. AND it was STICKING!

By the time we made it out of the swim meet, there was approximately 6 inches of snow. On the way home, I had to stop and take some photos on Ligonier Mountain.

Taken at summit on Route 271.

Taken at Laurel Highlands trailhead on Route 271.

The snow was gorgeous, white, and clean. Despite the whining of the tired Heathens, I snapped a lot of photos. These were my favorites.

But that isn't the good part of today... THAT would be too NORMAL. And we all know that NORMAL and ZOO go together like water and oil....

After arriving home, the younger two Heathens played outside in the snow. I know, SHOCKING!

Heathen #3 informed me of what they made in the snow after I mistakenly asked about the snowmen in our yard. There were 4 "figures" in our yard. I was informed that only 2 of the 4 were snowmen.

The other two were a "hippo and a hippo egg." Really?

And when I was then STUPID enough to guess which snow lump was what, I was informed.

THIS is the hippo!

THIS is the hippo egg. Can't you tell?

HOW could I have not known? What kind of mother am I? On the way back into the house, I promised to pay more attention instead of "just guessing" because I was not a very good "guesser."

I responded with an apologetic sounding, "Yes, sir." and headed into the house.

Halloween Challenge

2011-10-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

Last night was the annual Halloween parade in town. And we had BEAUTIFUL weather. The Heathens and I, along with the Grandma, headed down town a bit early so that we could find a good spot to watch the festivities.

Only arriving about 15 minutes before start time, we were able to find a spot big enough for the five of us to all see well. Grandma took a blanket for the Heathens to sit on. She sat just behind us in a chair.

As the parade was starting, a woman walked up behind us with 5 kids. One of the kids stepped right infront of Grandma. Grandma nicely asked her to move. The woman got NASTY! I heard my mother-in-law. She was polite when she asked the girl to move. The woman accused the Grandma of using a nasty tone of voice! Wow. Okay, lady.

Then the women told all of her children to sit INFRONT of my children. So I told her that my kids weren't able to see. And I got the "look of death." So she moved them to our left and put them in front of other people.

As the parade started, my Heathens sat forward onto their knees because the woman's kids were practically out in the street blocking their view. Behind us, in comes two women with a stroller and a toddler and pushed the stroller ONTO the blanket where my kids are sitting. Then they start telling this toddler to "git out there" to get them some candy!

I asked them to move the stroller so that I could get the blanket out from under it. And SHE YELLED AT ME! That my kids weren't even sitting on the blanket and I had NO RIGHT to have it there. It was a FREE COUNTRY and she could do whatever she wanted. I commented that it was obviously a free country and she was free to be as ignorant and rude as she wanted. (At this point, I was fed up. But I will admit, I should have just kept my mouth shut.)

She asked me if I wanted to "go at it" after the parade! Really? Are we in middle school?

At this point, Heathen #2 was crying because his mother and his grandmother are going to get beat up. And Heathen #1 is offering to "take her" for me. Heathen #3 was oblivious in his quest to get candy from the parade people.

As the parade continued, these women continued to push this toddler into the street to get them candy! He MIGHT have been two. It was ridiculous! And then, one of the women (who was about my age) went up to the curb, held out her hand, and started asking the parade people for candy for HER!

Really?

Next year, I hope it's cold and snowy for the parade. The crazy people will stay home!

Things You Find in Kids' Packets...

2011-10-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, while in New Jersey for my sister's wedding, we went to Chili's to eat for lunch. We took the 3 Heathens, my brother and his wife, and their son.

At Chili's, the kids' menus came in a plastic cup with crayons and some flyers. Heathen #3 spent his time filling them out. After attempting his middle name, and spelling it incorrectly, he passed me the flyer with the mistake.

Handed to me by Heathen #3 at Chili's. He's never had to
spell his middle name often enough to get it right. We now practice.

I slid the flyer out of the way as the waitress brought drinks. In the process of shuffling things on the table, the flyer was flipped over. And this is what I see:

The back of Heathen #3's flyer - that was handed
out with the KIDS' MENUS!

Thank goodness Heathen #3 didn't see it as he has learned to read. I can just HEAR him sounding it out!

Like any other good mother, I quickly showed it to ALL the adults at the table. Then I folded it up to bring home and add to the Zoo's blog of antics. Is it safe for me to go anywhere?

Wedding Aftermath

2011-10-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

We survived the wedding. Despite the crazy New Jersey traffic, extended time in the car and with family, etc., we survived.

Did I mention I broke my ankle? At my sister's reception, BEFORE drinking anything. That is true talent.

While sitting in my chair at the dinner table, somehow I managed to get the heel of my shoe tangled in my dress. The dresses were floor-length (or almost considering that I was the Amazon again).

Not realizing that my shoe was tangled in my dress, I attempted to stand up quickly and chase after a Heathen. He wasn't in trouble. I was being silly and teasing him. It didn't go well - and I ended up on the floor.

The ankle did the usual, lovely swelling and bruising. I borrowed my mother's slippers to wear home from New Jersey as none of my shoes would do.

Last night, a few of my toes were taking turns going numb. The Asst. Zookeeper said, "Get it checked." I said, "Yes, sir." (Stop snorting. I do occassionally show the man some respect. Just not often.)

I stopped between classes today to have it x-rayed. Told the doctor what happened. He said, "We'll send you for an x-ray and then we'll call you if we see anything. You don't have to wait while we read the film."

Then I showed him my ankle. He said, "You need to wait here while we have that read." Then he put me in one of these contraptions:

Did I mention I was in EBENSBURG and had to drive home in this thing! Thank heavens for light traffic.

I think when I'm all done wearing this thing, I'll sign it and give it to my sister as a belated-wedding present. :)

Welcome to the Zoo, Uncle Paul!

2011-10-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I married off the last of my or the Asst. Zookeeper's siblings. My "baby" sister, Ali was married on Saturday evening in New Jersey. She's married a great man, Paul, that I think will survive periodic visits from the Heathens. Here is the event in photo:

Ozark, at the rehearsal dinner. He couldn't WAIT to eat
and decided to eat the paper wrapper to the chopsticks. Here
he is, mid-chew.

Heathen #2 with his dinner. He'd never had corn on the cob
on a stick! Quite the novelty!

Heathen #3 and Ozark. The poor child spent a good bit
of the weekend with bunny ears, courtesy of the Heathens.

My Heathens had a GREAT time with Ozark. If only Texas
was a bit closer. Thank goodness Christmas is soon!

Grammy B teaches Ozark how to rub Uncle Paul's head.
Ozark learned quickly and loved it!

My father and his wedding present from
my sister and her soon-to-be husband.

The three Heathens dressed for the
wedding. The Asst. Zookeeper took this
just before the ceremony, before there
was any dirt or food on them.
Thank you!

Ozark is on the edge of the dance floor,
waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Heathen #3 and Ozark. One of the few photos of Ozark and
his cousins that does NOT involve bunny ears for Ozark.

Dressed for the ceremony. I had to crop
the photo to hid all the wrinkles at the
bottom of my dress from dressing small
children. Thanks to the Asst. Zookeeper
for the photo!

Rhys, Michelle, and Ozark. Love you three!

Heathen #3 is headed down the aisle
with one of the flower girls. He did
a FABULOUS job and carried the
real rings in his plate!

Ali & my father, just before they
started down the aisle. Her gown was
gorgeous!

Ozark, during the ceremony! I promise to provide a
copy of this photo to his parents for blackmail
purposes as he gets older!

My father and Paul's father performed the ceremony. It was
very sincere to hear the two of them provide advice for the
young couple. Between my parents and Paul's, they had
more than 70 years of marriage experience to offer.

During the vows.

You may kiss the bride!

Ceremony is over! Back into the
warm building!

For a good performance, Heathen #3
receives his payment! (Those
are Skittles that he is eating.)

Heathen #3 and me in our
wedding finery.

And us again! He did such a great job
smiling for photos that he deserved
a silly one.

Aunt Dani stole the Ozark during the reception.

We've been spotted by Grammy B! She's coming for Ozark!

During the Father-Daughter dance.

Paul & Ali cutting the cake.

Congratulations to the newly-weds!

Pretty in Pink

2011-10-12T06:11:00.000-07:00

Today at the elementary school is "Wear Pink for Cancer Awareness Day." Today is Wednesday. We found this out on Monday. And, of course, my Heathens do not own anything pink (unimaginable as that is).

They arrived home from school on Monday in a whirlwind of anxiety. They ALWAYS participate in the "wear this whatever" days that the school concocts to torment mothers. My personal favorite so far was when we were given two days notice last year that the children should dress up as their favorite storybook character for Dr. Seuss's birthday. Yeah, two days notice. It wasn't pretty, but I managed it.

After the Heathens declared that none of my pick shirts were acceptable, I had to PROMISE that I would buy them a shirt to wear. And pants. And socks. And pink shoes if I could find them. Have I ever mentioned that the Heathens don't believe in doing anything half-way?

Tuesday morning I was in the local WalMart in a section foreign to me: the girls' section. Go figure, I had no idea how it was laid out. I've never even walked through it before! I located pink t-shirts and pink sweatpants. No pink socks. Really? But I located them in the women's section. I had to purchase TWO packages of women's socks to get two pink pairs. There were no pink shoes to be found - yes, I actually looked.

Heathens #2 and #3 were very excited for school this morning!

The pink outfits!

Don't forget the socks, Momma!
(PS - my child is not holding his crotch,
he is pulling up his pant legs so that his
socks are visible!)

These are the girls at our bus stop. We have a great crew of
kids in our neighborhood. There are also two boys. Both boys
refused to wear pink today despite their mothers offering.

Senility

2011-10-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

Senility has arrived at the Zoo. Several months ago, we "adopted" a stray cat that we found in the neighborhood. What we thought was a stray turned out to be the neighbor's 15-year-old pet that they turned outside. LOVELY PEOPLE - you should definitely meet them.

We named the critter Wanda and she's been with us for about six months now. At the grand age of 15, Wanda doesn't put up with ANYTHING from ANYONE. If one of the dogs gets too close, she hisses and swipes with her claws. If someone attempts to pet her, she glares at them and then walks away.

She's definitely losing her mind. These are her favorite places to sleep:

It doesn't matter what windowsill she chooses. She MUST sleep with her head against the side. This picture isn't so bad. Sometimes she sleeps so tight against the side of the window that is looks painful. If you attempt to move her, she glares at you and then returns herself to the same uncomfortable looking position.

This box of garbage bags was open in the laundry room. It opened on top like a box of tissues. She stuffs herself down into the box as much as possible. Crazy cat!

We recently purchased a self-cleaning litter box (much to Heathen #1's delight!) Wanda has a love-hat relationship with the new litter box. She will sit and stare at it for hours. If it moves, she attacks.

She will happily use the new litter box. However, she has a ritual before she will use it. And yes, I have stopped and watched the ritual many times (who's crazy now?). Prior to getting into the litter box, she must sit and watch it for several minutes. Then she hisses and swats it a few times to see if it is going to move. Once she is convinced that it won't move, she will jump in and use it. Then she gets out and watches it again. When it starts to move, she attacks it until it quits moving. Once she is convinced that she has "killed" it (a.k.a. it stops moving) then she will walk away.

Only to repeat the exact same ritual again later....

Welcome to the Gang!

2011-10-12T05:41:00.000-07:00

The youngest Heathen was FINALLY old enough to be a Tiger Cub this year. He's been waiting his "ENTIRE LIFE" to be a Cub Scout, according to him.

And he's actually right. I was pregnant with him the year that Heathen #1 was a Tiger, and we've been dragging him along to EVERY scout function since the day he was born.

This Monday was his first "official" parade as a scout. He's walked with the scouts other years, but he was just tagging along. He couldn't have been more proud!

Left to Right: Heathen #1, Heathen #3, Noah Logan (their cousin),
and Heathen #2. One guess who didn't want to be in the picture!

Heathen #2 has graduated to holding the banner at the front of the
group. Next year, he'll be old enough to carry one of the flags!

Heathen #3 is GLOWING with pride as he marches
with his den's Tiger flag held high!

The Asst. Zookeeper's Scout Troop
shows EXCELLENT flag skills!

The Asst. Zookeeper and his father are in the center. Look
at them in their uniforms! The guys all looked AWESOME!

Parrots, Pierogis, and a Bus Breakdown

2011-10-12T05:25:00.000-07:00

As part of Cub Scout Pack 217, the Zoo boarded a charter bus for Pittsburgh's PNC Park a few weeks ago. Not only did the families experience PERFECT weather, they saw a great Pirates game as well! The Pirates edged out the Reds 4-3.

Heathens #2 and #3 are in the blue shirts.
The other boys are Scouts from our Pack.

The Heathens had never attended a professional baseball game before. They loved the first 10 minutes. They ATE their way through the first 6 innings (cotton candy, hot dogs, wings, hot pretzels, Skittles, soda, etc.) I had even fed them before we left home, but it didn't matter. Everything they saw someone else eating, they wanted. I was really glad the Asst. Zookeeper and I had planned ahead and taken enough cash with us!

In addition to a great game, the Heathens were able to watch the Parrot at batting practice and the pierogi races!

Although the seats were WAY at the top of section 327, we had a gorgeous view of the river and the Pittsburgh skyline. The Heathens decided they should ride "that boat that keeps going past" next summer.

The view from our seats.

The Scouts also had the opportunity to watch another Cub Scout Pack serve as flag patrol for the National Anthem (which was sung by Steve Miller of the Steve Miller Band!)

Our Pack was also recognized as an attending group. Some of the Scouts and parents may have noticed when our Pack name was "Up In Lights" but my Heathens were busy eating instead. I thought it was very cool!

After the game, the Scouts and their families headed back to the bus for the ride home. About a mile outside of Blairsville, the bus made a HORRIBLE BANG. The driver, Mr. Joe (who was a great guy) announced that we would have to pull over as the bus was beginning to overheat.

He pulled over at a closed restaurant (The Blue Ridge Restaurant on Route 22) and called McIlwain's for a "rescue bus" as ours wasn't going to make it back to Johnstown.

In true Cub Scout fashion, the boys quickly piled out of the bus and into the parking lot to entertain themselves during the hour or so we had to wait. With a Subway plastic bag and a few cans they found in the parking lot, the Scouts were completely content until the rescue bus arrived.

Special Kudos go out to the Ryan Kovach family for adhering to the "Be Prepared" slogan of scouting. The bus had to be turned off to prevent further damage to the motor - which meant no lights in the bathroom. Ryan and his family quickly produced a flashlight!

Once the rescue bus arrived, the Scouts and their families quickly made their way back to the WHES parking lot, arriving MUCH later than planned. However, the Scouts had a fabulous time and that is all that matters in the end!

Coffee for the Shower

2011-10-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

My mornings begin the same way that mornings begin for other mothers. I have to drag myself out of bed so that I can BOMB my Heathens out of bed on time.

Heathen #1 is not friendly in the morning. At the Zoo, waking him up is referred to as "poking the bear."

Waking up Heathen #3 is taking your
own life in your hands.

Heathen #2 pops out of bed like fresh daisy in the morning. Many times, he wakes me up. "Momma, it's 6:30 and you aren't out of bed yet. We are gonna be LATE."

Heathen #2 wakes up on his own and is
disgustingly cheerful.

Heathen #3 is somewhere in the middle. He wakes up pleasant, but he wakes up very slowly and needs to be constantly prodded to get out of bed and dressed.

Heathen #3 has to be dragged out of bed,
but is not physically dangerous like Heathen #1.

After the morning battle has been waged (and WON!), and the Heathens have all boarded their buses and been whisked away to be someone else's trouble for a few hours, I trudge into the kitchen.

I may have already downed about 4 cups of coffee during the morning battle, but I will start a new pot. And a cup of coffee goes to take a shower with me. It is delightful to enjoy my coffee in w hot shower, and listen to the silence that has taken over the Zoo...

Recently, I forgot my empty coffee cup on the shelf in the shower. Heathen #2 went to shower in the evening and brought me the cup. He wanted to know why I was drinking coffee in the shower.

My response... because I can.

Duct Tape INVASION

2011-10-03T11:57:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, Heathen #2 developed a love of Duct Tape. I don't have a clue as to where he first saw it. One day, there was only the Asst. Zookeeper's duct tape in the house. The next, Heathen #2 was watching youTube videos on how to make things. It quickly turned into an addiction and became ALL he wanted to talk about.

Wallets, flowers, bows were all constructed of duct tape. He quickly exhausted the Zoo's supply and was begging me to buy more. So when I ran into the Dollar Tree for thank you notes, I saw a bin and grabbed him several roles. Quite proud of myself for remembering, I presented Heathen #2 with my purchase.

Ten minutes later, Heathen #2 brought me back the tape. I then received a lesson in why the brand of tape I had purchased was of poor quality (See Mom? It doesn't tear easily. It is too thin and it leaves all of these strings. Duck Brand duct tape doesn't do THAT.) He used the same voice for me that you use with small children while explaining why they shouldn't eat crayons. I think of it as the "HOW could you be so stupid" voice.

He then gave me back the generic tape and told me he would wait until we went to the store again. So much for scoring "Momma points."

Yesterday after school, he spent the entire evening working on his Halloween costume. His choice of costume has changed frequently over the past few months. But it has always included "made of Duct Tape" or a "Duct Tape..." as part of it. For example: a Duct Tape vampire, an army man made of Duct Tape.

Looks like it will be a Duct tape Halloween.

Politicians and Potty Doors

2011-09-08T12:56:00.000-07:00

The first contact of the year has just arrived from the schools.

Not the first mailing - that arrived more than a month ago. Not the first "important paper" that the Heathens bring home - those started arriving last week. Not even the first "caught being good" phone call - we actually received TWO of those the first week of school.

No. This was a different contact. This contact involved the words, "please speak to your son concerning..." It arrived in the form of an email. The teacher must have started typing as soon as she put the littlest Heathen onto the bus.

I definitely am going to give the teacher credit. She was nice enough to saw something nice about my child before getting to the true point of the email. "Landon is certainly a politician around the school. He knows everyone's name and says hello all the time. It's very adorable."

Heathen #3 - the local politician.

Apparently, my child made some choices today that were not the best of choices. During his bathroon break, he went into the bathroom stall, closed and locked the door, and then crawled out the bottom - leaving all the stall doors locked.

This election's issue.

Now I have to explain to him that he will NEVER get elected if he angers the local voters by locking them out of the bathroom! Heathen #3 has some serious campaign issues to remember! Hopefully, he doesn't choose to enter the debate...

Grandma Positioning System

2011-09-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

Tuesday of this week was "Salon Day" where I pick up my 88-year-old grandmother and we head for the beauty parlor together. The hair appointments are usually followed by a lunch date and any shopping she may need to do since she no longer drives. This occurs every 6 weeks or so and we always have a good time.

Twice in the space of an hour that morning, she called me to tell me that she had moved. She didn't want me going to the old apartment. The first call made sense, I hadn't been to her new place yet. She made the second call 30 minutes later because she had already forgotten she made the first call. No trouble - it is just pare for the course with Gram.

At the hair appointment, the lady cutting her hair asked her if she had bumped her head recently. Gram said that she had been in a car accident. I about came out of my seat! After much questioning for clarification, it turns out that the car accident to which she was referring occurred before she gave up driving (almost 10 years ago). Have I mentioned that Gram's 88-years-old yet?

After the hair appointments, we headed for her favorite chinese restaurant. Over lunch we discussed any shopping she might need to do. She stated that the only thing she needed to look at was a new towel rack. I needed to pick up contacts at Sears. She said she would look there first.

Upon arrival at Sears, we headed into the first floor entrance. The optical department is on the first floor, towels are on the second floor. At the escalator, I told her where the towels were on the second floor and offerred to go look for towel racks and then pick up the contacts on the way out. Gram said she'd head up while I went for the contacts and then I could just meet her up there.

At this point, a small warning light went off in my head. I really didn't want her to go by herself. But I didn't want to insult her by treating her like a child. I agreed that I would be right up to meet her in towels. I placed her on the escalator and headed for the optical department. Less than five minutes later, I was on the escalator and headed for towels.

Gram was not in the towels. At just over five feet tall, she's a little hard to find in the store. I looked through the entire section just in case. No Gram.

I asked the clerk if he had seen a little old lady looking for a towel rack. He said he had. He had informed her that they didn't carry towel racks and she had headed out into the mall.

I quickly checked the towel sections in the other three department stores in the mall, all the while keeping my eyes open for her as I moved between stores. No Gram.

I went back to Sears to see if she had turned up. No Gram.

The same clerk informed me she had mentioned other shopping she needed to do. Now I was at a complete loss - she had told me at lunch she didn't need to get anything else! Now I wasn't even sure where to look! I sat outside the Sears entrance for a while hoping she would show up. Still no Gram.

I called my father at admitted to having lost his 88-year-old mother in the mall. After laughing at me, he suggested checking back at the car and at the bottom of the escalator also. On the way back to the escalator, I found Gram. She was waiting for me at the top of the ELEVATOR instead of the ESCALATOR.

And she wanted to know what had taken me so long!

I told her they couldn't locate Dan's contacts in the drawer, that they had been miss filed. She said she couldn't find any towel racks, but she didn't feel like shopping any more today. She was ready to go home.

Thank heavens. I don't think my heart could have handled taking her to another store.

My Gram, with my nephew, Ozark.

Queen Oblivious Meets Irene

2011-09-02T05:55:00.000-07:00

This event occurred on Saturday, August 27 and Sunday, August 28. I am going to type the events of the story. I am going to place my internal thoughts at each point in italics.

For the last weekend before school, I decided that the Heathens and I needed a grand finale. So I made plans to take them to the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA. Since it's a four hour drive, I decided to drive Saturday and get a hotel room for the night. After visiting the Crayola Factory on Sunday, we would drive home and arrive in time for dinner, baths, and bed.

Friday, I started looking for a hotel room close to the Crayola Factory. EVERYTHING was booked! The Crayola Factory is close to a bunch of smaller universities - people are probably moving their kids into dorm rooms. After much searching, I located a hotel. It even had an indoor pool for the Heathens to spend Saturday evening - perfect!

Saturday, I put the Heathens into Louie the Land Yacht (the Asst. Zookeeper dubbed the Suburban). We headed east on the turnpike. There's a LOT of traffic headed east! I'm glad there's hardly any traffic on my side of the turnpike. Look at all the Penelec bucket trucks! They must be moving them between depots. Why else would there be more than 50 bucket trucks on the turnpike together?

After arriving at the hotel, the Heathens spent several hours in the pool. After watching movies and jumping on beds, we fell asleep around 10. Several times over the night, the wind and the rain woke me up. Wow! It's really raining out there! Listen to that wind!

In the morning, we headed downstairs to the continental breakfast. The place was packed with more than 50 people. They must all be moving kids into their dorms!

The Heathens wanted to sit on the sun porch for their breakfast, but the roof had leaked the night before. The sun porch was basically an indoor wading pool. Wow! What a storm that must have been!

We checked out and headed a little farther east to the Crayola Factory. We arrived to find it closed because there was no power. Heathen #2 was quite upset. I told him that I had seen a sign for Lost River Caverns one exit back on the highway and we would try there instead. How was I supposed to know there would be a storm and it would knock out the power? Sorry, kiddo! I didn't know!

Back one exit on the highway, we came across roads closed and cops in raincoats directing traffic. Wow! Must have been some storm!

We started dodging flooded roads, downed trees, and downed power lines around every corner. When we came across the first river that had overflowed its banks and flooded houses, it finally hit me: I drove my children into Hurricane Irene.

What should have been a 4 hour trip home took closer to 6 as we had to dodge flooding and trees across roads. The Heathens spent a great deal of time with their noses pressed to the windows looking at all the damage.

When the Asst. Zookeeper asked the Heathens how the trip was, they told him about everything they had seen. He looked at me and asked me where the Crayola Factory was. After I told him that it is less than 10 miles from the New Jersey border, he just closed his eyes and shook his head at me.

Yes, I can be THAT oblivious to what is happening around me.

The Crayola Factory is located in the area colored hot pink for "extreme."

Wanted: Spouse

2011-08-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

At my sister's wedding shower a few weekends ago, we played a great game. I saved the responses to share with the world.

Directions: In "Want Ad" fashion, write your description of the ideal spouse.

Some of the responses:

"Single male ages 30-59, with job and benefits. Must own home and car. Motorcycles a plus. Sugar-mommy seekers need not apply. Must know how to do home repairs, especially plumbing (the female kind)."

"Wanted: an intelligent, young male that likes to cook, clean, and treat me like the princess I am. Helpful if you are outgoing and love children. Romantic a plus."

"Wanted: a single, unmarried man. Pleasant with common sense and a nice smile. Able and willing to cook and clean. Likes to enjoy life. Money helps."

"Wanted: clever, shy, and fiercely independent man. Opinionated, strong willed, and eager to start a family. Loving, caring and willing to get up and make coffee in the morning."

"Wanted: man that cleans up after himself and gets his own coffee."

"Wanted: man to do home maintenance, dishes, laundry, and cooking. Must be willing to clean cat litter box. Daily habits must include showering and brushing teeth. Ideal man will be willing to wear what you tell him, and takes a 'honey-do' list seriously. Must be able to notice and comment on my hair and clothes."

If any men read this and see themselves, please let me know! I have some women who would LOVE to meet you!

Whitewater Debut

2011-08-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

Despite starting off his summer with a broken arm, Heathen #1 has finally made it into the water at Tire Hill! In his usual "duck to water" way, Heathen #1 has taken to surfing his new kayak with little difficulty. Now the trouble is getting him down to the park as often as he would like.

After two hours in the water, Heathen #1
is tired but very satisfied.

I have to admit to sitting on the rocks and watching with a great deal of Momma-pride. The Asst. Zookeeper was just as proud. With less than 10 hours total in the water, he's exceeding all expectations. That's my Heathen!

Cucumber Falls & the Waterslides

2011-08-26T21:48:00.000-07:00

Tuesday of this week, the Heathens and I headed for Ohiopyle, PA. We had been out there on Saturday to buy whitewater gear for Heathen #1 and the Heathens decided we needed to go back before school started. I couldn't have agreed more!

Cucumber Falls is breathtaking. And because we were there during the week, we had the waterfall and pool at the bottom all to ourselves.

Cucumber Falls from the trail above.

Look how small Heathens #2 and #3 look!

The water was COLD and they couldn't have cared less.

Playing behind the falls.

Heathen #2 chose the pose.

It was a perfect afternoon.

On the way to Cucumber Falls, the Heathens had seen a sign for the natural waterslides. And, duh, decided that we had to go try it!

Heathen #3 stayed in the slower water.

Heathen #1, with Heathen #2 close behind.

Heathen #2 looked like a prune
when he finally got out of the water.

Heathen #1 had a blast!

I love my Heathens. I got to sit all day and watch them do what my Heathens do best.
Laugh and play. Laugh and play. Does it get any better?

Cornsnips!

2011-08-22T15:57:00.000-07:00

Several days ago, Heathen #3 and I were watching Suite Life on Deck on the Disney Channel. One of the characters was growing cornsnips - a hyrbid of corn and parsnips.

Later that afternoon, the younger two Heathens and I were driving to Seph Mach to visit. From the back seat I hear, "Look, Mom! Cornsnips!"

Heathen #3 and his cornsnips!

And we have cleared another hurdle at our Zoo! After looking at the gaps in his friends' smiles with envy, Heathen #3 has finally joined the group of lisping first graders. The tooth came out right after the Asst. Zookeeper left for work one evening. Heathen #3 requested that I call the Toothfairy and ask if he could keep the tooth to show Daddy when he came home.

The proud smile!

Worth it's weight in gold to a small Heathen.

In Honor of Those Falllen... We Remember

2011-08-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

The younger two Heathens and I joined the Asst. Zookeeper's boy scouts for a day trip to Washington D.C. The troop was hosting a group of British scouts for two weeks. Sometimes it is handy to be able to tag along! It involved no planning on my part - just being at the bus on time!

Iwo Jima Memorial

Korean War Memorial

The Lincoln Memorial - Heathen #2 is in
the dark blue shirt taking a picture.

Heathen #3 at the Capitol.

Heathen #2 at the Capitol.

Heathens #2 and #3 with
the Washington Memorial
in the background.

World War II Memorial

At the Vietnam Memorial, I took this photo of my father-in-law. I originally took it because you could see his reflection so well. After I snapped the photo, Heathen #3 wanted to know why Pappy was crying.

I realized that he was reading the names of the men HE served with in Vietnam. Men he knew and remembered.

So, in honor of my father-in-law and everyone else who has or is currently serving... thank you.

Teal Glitter

2011-08-04T19:37:00.000-07:00

My last post was about my Heathens hoarding habits and how I had spent an ENTIRE day un-hoarding their rooms. I was so proud of myself. I ended the post with a comment about wishing it would just stay clean.

SOOOOOOO didn't happen - and it wasn't the Heathens. It was Bantley.

Duchess (left) and Bantley (right)

Heathen #2 came downstairs after his bath to tell me that Bantley had gotten into the glitter in his bedroom. I cringed.

Heathen #2 shouldn't have phrased it as "Bantley got into my glitter." He should have phrased it as "Bantley glittered the second floor of the house."

Bantley's color of glitter.

He spread glitter ALL over Heathen #2's bedroom (floor, bedding - everything was coated). He had also tracked the glitter through the hallway and into the other bedrooms after he finished that room. Which covered the upstairs hall carpet, the stairs, my bedroom and Heathen #3's bedroom.

When I found Bantley, HE was covered in teal glitter.

While cleaning up the second floor wasn't the greatest thing, it was far easier than trying to clean off Bantley. Try vacuuming a dog.

Beating the Hoarders

2011-08-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

The Asst. Zookeeper and Heathen #1 are gone for TWO WEEKS!!!! No one is chaperoning me! And the first thing I did in my unchaperoned-ness?

I cleaned the top two floors of the house! That will teach them to leave me home! Hah!

Strangely enough, it was enjoyable. Heathens #2 and #3 played well together (ssshhhh - don't tell them I said that!). I got all 3 Heathens rooms "purged" as I call it. "Purging" is when I enter the room with garbage bags in hand and NOTHING is safe. Currently, you can see the floor in all three bedrooms and all the drawers in the dressers close easily.

The garbage cans out back are overflowing with black bags - but the Heathens can't see into the bags, so I am safe!

I love my Heathens, but they are all hoarders. Not the kind that you see on TV shows. Not ones that will suffer as adults. But definitely hoarders.

Heathen #1 hoards clothing.

Dirty or clean, he keeps it in his room. Claims that he HAS ALREADY given me all his laundry when asked. I hauled out 3 laundry baskets worth. I'm sure come of it was clean and just never got put away. But I didn't recognize half of it as having come through the laundry room lately.

Heathen #2 hoards candy wrappers. Somewhere is the man who originally thought about putting contests onto candy wrappers, or the "collect so many of these and get this" gag. That man is worshiped by Heathen #2. This summer it seems to be the wrappers from Dum-Dum lollipops.

Apparently there is an online store where you can redeem your wrappers. So he saves them. He stashes them in drawers, under the dresser, under the bed. Anywhere he thinks they are safe. When told he needs to clean up the garbage in his room, he becomes indignant. "They're not garbage. They are wrappers and I'M SAVING THEM."

Heathen #3 hoards paper.

Any paper. ALL paper. Especially if he has used a pen or pencil or crayon or marker and placed the SLIGHTEST mark on the paper. If the paper comes in a notebook, he insists on tearing out the used pages so that the notebook is "new" - but he saves the torn out pages. And the little ruffly-edges caused by the spiral binding.

At 10 am this morning, the garbage men came to my house and left me with two large empty garbage cans outside. The hydraulic on the back of the truck was like the sound of a starter pistol in my mind - and I went into action. At 5 pm, I had filled both cans plus placed a box and two additional garbage bags beside them.

I feel SOOOO much better. If it would only stay that clean.... But we all know better.

Konnichiwa!

2011-07-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

I've just returned from spending 8 days in Yokosuka, Japan. It is about an hour from Tokyo. The Asst. Zookeeper sent me there as my anniversary gift (bless his heart!). My friend moved to Yokosuka Naval Base alittle over a year ago and I was thrilled at the chance to visit!

Before anyone thinks of it: NO, I do NOT speak Japanese. And my 9 years of French study were not of much use either. After 8 days, here is the extent of my Japanese:

Dōmo arigatō. (doh-moh ah-ree-GAH-toh) - thank you
Sumimasen. (soo-mee-mah-sen) - excuse me
Konnichiwa. (kon-nee-chee-WAH) - hello
Gomen-nasai. (goh-men-nah-sigh) - I'm sorry.

Yup, I managed to navigate the entire trip with those four phrases. And Bethany's Japanese isn't a whole lot more advanced. Many of the signs on the train and subway were also in English, which was a huge help. It was also helpful that Bethany's been there for a year already and really knew where we were going!

One of my favorite parts of the experience was the English translations. Here were some of the cute ones, but there were too many to photograph them all!

Some of the places we visited:

Outside of Senso-ji Temple.

Imperial Palace in Tokyo.

Part of the temple at Kamakura.

The Money Washing Shrine. Bethany is pointing to the
thousands of paper cranes that are hanging from the
cave ceiling above us.

Torii gate lined path to one of the shrines in Asakusa.

These animals seem to be the Japanese version of the "Alpha and Omega" that are so commonly seen in Western culture. The open-mouthed lion is saying the "aahh" sound that is the first letter of the Japanese alphabet, and the closed-mouthed lion is saying the "nnnn" sound, which is the last letter. These two statues were seen in pairs everywhere we went to visit a shrine or a temple.

The Japanese "Alpha."

The Japanese "Omega."

It was a wonderful trip. I missed the Asst. Zookeeper and the three Heathens. I was happy to be home at the Zoo. But I saw fascinating things that I never thought to see. Definitely on the list of "Places to Return."

The Last Two Weeks...

2011-07-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

This Fourth of July found us celebrating with family and friends. All totaled, there were 12 children and many more adults. Celebrating the 4th with young children is the BEST way to go. You should have seen these four children screeching and dancing when something was set off!

The Asst. Zookeeper took over cleanup after Round One was over. The family event always includes road cleanup!

Once it was dark, the children lined up their chairs and watched the show!

The first week of July also found the Miller Heathens attending Cub Scout Day Camp. It is three days of fun (and exhaustion!). This was the first year that Heathen #3 was old enough to attend as a scout. He was SO tired the first day that he fell asleep in the car before we pulled out of the lot!

Heathen #2 at crafts.

Heathen #3 in the BB barn.

Heathen #1 joined us as staff.

Friday night at the end of camp, the Webelos Scouts and Boy Scouts were invited to stay overnight. They conducted a flag retirement ceremony and the boys were all able to participate. They also had cinnamon rolls made in a dutch oven (curtesy of the Asst. Zookeeper) and they made their own breakfast the next morning!

Heathen #2 placing his
portion of the flag on the fire.

And today was an important day at the Miller Zoo! The youngest Heathen celebrated his 6th birthday! Although he's still not old enough to ride his bicycle past the stop sign, he thinks its cool that he had to use 2 hands to show his age. Happy Birthday, Squeaker!

Heathen #3 in SIX-YEARS-OLD!!!

Dragonfly Pond

2011-07-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

The Asst. Zookeeper and Heathen #1 left the Zoo to head to resident camp with Troop 217 for the week. It always leaves a hole at home, and the other two Heathens always feel left out. When we spend so much time together as a family, they have trouble understanding when they can't go along.

I took them to Dragonfly Pond. I've driven past it for years and always thought it would be a great place to stop. It was definitely worth it.

I packed a picnic lunch (via Subway!), put the Heathens into the car and headed to Yellow Creek State Park. The Heathens and I spend a great afternoon looking at all of the dragonflies and trying to get pictures of them. We also watched a family of muskrats swimming in the pond and playing in the water. The two younger Heathens came home happy and tired. Mission Accomplished!

Sky Lanterns

2011-06-18T02:23:00.000-07:00

Heathen #2 asked me the other day if I had added a post about his sky lanterns - and I had to admit that I hadn't gotten to it yet. Here is the post I promised him!

Heathen #2 is part of a FANTASTIC cub scout den. It is full of great boys and fantastic parents. They do all kinds of really cool projects together. This year, the coolest was definitely the sky lanterns.

Anyone who has seen the movie Tangled recognizes this image:

Our boys built and flew their own lanterns. The images aren't the greatest but they definitely show what the boys accomplished. The boys did a fantastic job and the lanterns were amazing to watch!

A completed lantern

Heathen #2 is ready for flight!

Lighting the fuel source.

Letting the air warm.

We have lift-off!

Up...

And away!

Frolicking in Florida: a story of Miller Mishaps (Part 4)

2011-06-18T02:04:00.000-07:00

Thursday we spent the first part of the day at Sea World. Since the one in Ohio closed, it has been years since I've been to one.

We discovered that Heathen #3 is a little fountain of knowledge about Manatees. He spent the entire time with them spouting off about boats hitting them and special hospitals. It was really cute - and surprising! I didn't realize he even knew what they were! Hurray for Animal Planet!

Heathen #3 and his manatees

Of course, we saw Shamu! And just as the show was getting ready to start - my camera battery died. I remembered to empty the memory card but not to charge the battery.

Since we were returning the next day, we left Sea World a little early that afternoon. The Asst. Zookeeper surprised us with tickets to Medieval Times! I wanted to stop at a camera store to see about a camera grip and battery adapter.

We stopped at two camera stores, both run by Indian men. The first store didn't have the right grip for my camera, so I simply bought a new battery. While we were there, the man asked if I had any filters for my camera. He showed me a filter that I really liked. But I saw the price on the box ($250) and didn't want to spend that while on vacation. When I declined the filter, the man told me it was only $125. I thanked him, declined again, and paid for my battery.

As we were getting ready to walk out of the store, he said, "You got cash on you? I sell you filter for cost. $99 for you." One of the other men in the store questioned him about the drastic price reduction. His response was, "It going to rain. We have do inventory. I sell $99."

We declined and headed for the van and the next camera shop. They had the grip for my camera. We paid and were heading for the door. The man behind us called after us, "You have filter for camera?" We replied YES and kept walking, trying not to laugh until we were out of his hearing!

We were headed for Medieval Times! I couldn't wait to see it! I had loved Arabian Nights and the Asst. Zookeeper has spent years telling me about Medieval Times. According to the GPS, we were only 5 minutes away, just one exit up on the highway.

Item #4 of the Miller Mishaps: the van dies!

We took our exit ramp and entered the middle lane of 5 on the ramp. At the end of the ramp, the light was red, so we stopped. AND SO DID THE VAN!!!! And it wouldn't restart. It was rush hour traffic in Orlando and we were stuck in the middle of the ramp!

The Asst. Zookeeper got out to push it to the side of the road. In PA, people stop and ask if you need help. Really OLD men will stop and help push a can. In FL, they simply honk horns and make rude gestures. Did I mention the Asst. Zookeeper was pushing a CONVERSION VAN by himself? We tied up quite a bit of traffic!

Once along the side of the road, the Asst. Zookeeper (bless his heart!) walked over to the closest hotel and arranged for a taxi to take the Heathens and I to Medieval Times. He also arranged for a tow truck to take him and the van back to the condo.

I'm worried about abandoning my husband on the side of the road, and the Heathens are ECSTATIC that they are going for their FIRST ride in a taxi!

Medieval Times was fantastic once we got there. The Asst. Zookeeper called ahead to let them know we would be a few minutes late and the people there took care of us. Once the Heathens got over the fact that they were SUPPOSED to eat with their fingers, they promptly FORGOT to eat as they were busy watching the jousting and sword play in front of us. To my delight and Heathen #1's dismay, one of the characters in the show was "Prince Tristan" and he was married to a very pretty lady. The other two Heathens kept calling him "Prince" for the rest of the evening.

Touring the Village

NO UTENSILS!

We took another taxi back to the condo at the end of the show. The Asst. Zookeeper had spent the evening with the tow truck guy deciding what was wrong with the van. By the time we arrived "home," he knew what was wrong and what parts he needed to fix it! Being married to an electrician/mechanic is REALLY handy!

The rest of the vacation was spent fixing the van (the Asst. Zookeeper) or swimming at the condo (me and the Heathens). We did run back over to Sea World for Friday afternoon to see the shows we hadn't the day before. Then it was a 16 hour drive home the next day.

Despite the mishaps over the course of the week, I couldn't have asked for a better week with the Zoo. I already wish we could go back and do it again!

The Entire Zoo!

Frolicking in Florida: a story of Miller Mishaps (Part 3)

2011-06-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was the day I had been waiting for - since February! This was my birthday present! This was what I'd been selling to the Heathens for two years! And it was finally time to swim with the dolphins!!!!!

Discovery Cove was UNDESCRIBABLE. But I will do my best.

All you had to bring was YOU - everything else was covered. Breakfast, lunch, snacks, drinks all day long, towels, sunscreen, snorkeling gear, beach chairs and umbrellas.

Our dolphin's name was Catalina. She was three years old and she was great. Although the younger two were a little nervous at first, by the end they loved her!

Heathen #1 kissing Catalina!

Heathen #2 with his new best buddy!

Heathen #3 was nervous being with something
that much bigger than him, but he did great!

In addition to the dolphins, there was sting ray pool where you could touch and feed the sting rays. The water was a little too deep for Heathen #3 to stand, but he still loved watching me feed them!

There was also a coral reef with fish, manta rays and sharks (enclosed in a separate area). You could snorkel with the fish and pet the manta rays. Heathen #1 spent a good bit of the day diving down to the manta rays and hanging on for rides. The sharks were in an enclosed area within the reef but you could still see them underwater. It was amazing!

Discovery Cove also houses an aviary with beautiful birds. Here are just a few of my favorites that I snapped!

We watched a man propose "by dolphin" while we were there! As we were waiting our turn to enter the dolphin lagoon, Catalina (our dolphin) brought over a white buoy to a couple already in the water. The white buoy was enscribed with "Will you marry me?" It was really sweet! Our trainer said he's been there for twelve years and has seen more than a few proposals that weren't accepted!

The Heathens had a fabulous day of snorkeling and sun. We were sad to leave, but spent the trip back to the condo planning our next Discovery Cove visit. We will definitely be going back.

Tired, but planning the return visit.

Frolicking in Florida: a story of Miller Mishaps (Part 2)

2011-06-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

Monday of Frolicking in Florida was spent at Animal Kingdom (by Heathen choice). And I am forever ruined for regular zoos.

I could have pet most of the animals there because they were that close! There were no glass-fronted cages (except for the fish, obviously). The animals had lots of room to move and actually looked happy instead of half-miserable. Many of the animals we saw were in very large enclosures that you entered as part of a tour. The animals had free-range to interact with each other and to get incredible close to us!

Who has ever seen a flamingo nest?

There were 6 or more baby elephants in the herd.

This was the Asst. Zookeeper's favorite.
He claims the gorilla had obviously
been out with his friends drinking the
night before.

This rhinosceros was so close I
could have leaned over and
touched him. Without stretching.

Tuesday was our "down day" between big park adventures. Instead we went to Wonderworks to play Laser Tag and use the indoor ropes course. They also had a 4D vitual roller coaster that the younger 2 Heathens loved!

After leaving WonderWorks, we headed for Arabian Nights. We took the boys on the stable tour before dinner. It was really great. They loved getting that close to the horses and the performers. The food was fabulous. The service was magnificent. The show was fantastic!

After swimming at the condo late into the night, it was off to bed for the next day's adventures!

Frolicking in Florida: a story of Miller Mishaps (Part 1)

2011-06-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Continue reading for the following Miller Family Mishaps:
1. Lose of air conditioning
2. Remembering the camera, but forgetting the battery
3. Disneyland vs. Disney World
4. Vehicle breakdown on 5-lane exit ramp at rush hour

Now that I have your attention! As you read, remember that we had a great time and spent a good bit of it laughing at ourselves (as usual!)

The Zoo took its hiatus early this year due to aging Heathens commitments in August. Bless the BFF in Japan for condo access! Not only was it within 5 minutes of everywhere we planned to go, but it was fabulous all by itself!

Due to the Asst. Zookeeper's work schedule, we were able to take 2 full days to drive down to Kissimmee. The Heathens spent the time in the back of the conversion van watching (get this!) VCR tapes and learning what it meant to REWIND them. The Asst. Zookeeper and I may be Microwave Babies, but the Heathens are definitely DVD Babies.

On the way through Daytona, we were able to stop by and visit with the Heathens beloved "Aunt" Lori who has abandoned the lovely Johnstown weather for the crappy weather of Daytona Beach. After we hugged her goodbye and pulled back onto the highway, Heathen #3 still didn't understand WHY she would leave to live at the beach. He was MUCH cuter than the water.

Item #1 on the list of Miller Mishaps: lose of air conditioning

This occurred on the second day of the trip, not far through Virginia. While it was going to be a warm week in Orlando, we rolled down the windows and turned up the radio. Until the Heathens asked us to turn DOWN the radio because they couldn't here the VCR tapes in the back over the music and the wind. Not a big deal - on with the trip!

Item #2 on the list of Miller Mishaps: remembering the camera, but forgetting the battery

This is actually two parts! I was so worried about not having enough memory card storage for the week that the Asst. Zookeeper suggested that I take the computer - I would be able to download the pictures at the end of every night and wouldn't need to buy unnecessary memory cards. Perfect! Add "1 computer" to the packing list.

Once we pulled into the condo and began unpacking, I realized that I didn't pack the charger for my camera battery. It takes one of those weird rechargeable ones that are almost $100 to replace and usually don't come charged anyway. No problem! We stopped at the store and bought a new charger for $20 - Perfect! Problem averted!

On Sunday, we arrived in the parking lot at the Magic Kingdom with three Heathens in the back of the van that were practically vibrating with excitement. As we are getting out of the van, I caught sight of a plane doing sky-writing. He was writing different Christian messages and I wanted to get a picture because it was really visible. Open the camera bag, take out the camera. Uncap the lens, flip power switch to "on." Focus and press the shutter button.

At this point, the camera should make some clicking sounds, beep twice, and then the shutter should go off, followed by a preview of the photo on the screen. Right? Wrong. Nothing happened. Check power - yup, I did remember to turn on the camera. Focus and press the shutter. Nothing. As I'm looking at the camera and checking things, it dawns on me what is wrong...

The BATTERY is still at the condo in the new charger. I wanted to start the day with a fully charged battery. My first thought was that we were only five minutes from the condo and we would run back to get it.

My second thought was of the imminent Miller Mutiny I would have on my hands if I told the Heathens to get back into the van without going into the pack. For my own personal health, we waited until the kids were ready to eat before we disguised the battery-retrieval trip as "we're eating at the condo."

Onto Item #3: Disneyland vs. Disney World

Like the responsible adults that we are (no snickering!), we started planning this trip months ago. The Asst. Zookeeper started to purchase tickets ahead of time over the internet so that we could space out the cost. Since our bank has shut us off before on vacations due to "suspicious spending" (check out the Niagara Falls trip 2010) we didn't want to take that chance again.

We remembered to print out the e-tickets before we left home. We remembered to put all the e-tickets in the van and take them with us. We remembered to take them with us to the park. As we are walking up to the gate, a little old lady is directly traffic. If you need to purchase tickets, she sends you left. If you already have tickets, she sends you right. The Asst. Zookeeper holds the tickets up as we are approaching in the "we already have tickets" motion, this little old lady stops us all dead in our tracks.

"Sir, those say Disneyland. This is Disney World."

The Asst. Zookeeper looks at the tickets in his hand and then turns to face me with a horrible look on his face. Then he holds up the tickets to show me. In BIG BLUE letters, aproximately 2 inches tall and 5 inches wide, across the top of our tickets it has the word "Disneyland."

Somewhere in the googling, we ended up on the wrong site and bought tickets for the wrong side of the country. And we never noticed. We printed the tickets - just never looked at them other than to check the names on them and the dates.

The Heathen automatically start to go into melt down: "What does that mean?" "Why does it matter? This IS Disney!" "You mean we can't go in?" "You promised I would get to see Mickey Mouse!"

Continue this list in several voices. Add some panicked breathing and some really watery eyes on two smaller Heathens. And the on Zookeeper as well - I really wanted to go too!

After we were directed to guest services, we were told that they WOULD NOT honor our tickets. If we wanted to enter the park, we would have to purchase new tickets. If we wanted our money back for the other tickets (really, the word "if" was used), then we would have to contact them to request our refund.

Thank heavens we had the cash to cover the extra tickets! So much for planning ahead! When we went back to the condo for lunch, the Asst. Zookeeper called about the refund. It could take up to FOUR WEEKS. Seriously? When they can ZAP it out of the account in 4 seconds? Really? Whatever, we were okay to finish the trip and that was all that mattered!
We had a fabulous day at the Magic Kingdom. The Heathens were disappointed when it closed for the night, but were ready for bed and the adventures that awaited them in the morning.

My Favorite Part

The Asst. Zookeeper bought me Minnie ears!

Tired, but it was worth it.

In Memory of Giovanna Jean

2011-03-14T18:29:00.000-07:00

I have a friend from high school that I've now known for years. Six months ago today, her family suffered the loss of a child. You can read Giovanna's story at:

http://giovannajean.blogspot.com/

I've decided to walk with my friend and her family in the March of Dimes March for Babies on May 1st. Please donate to this worthy cause in Giovanna's memory.

Please, those of you that know Zarah and her family, keep them in your prayers.

Greatest Birthday Card EVER!

2011-03-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

I've reached the age where you don't receive many birthday cards. Other than family, I only received one this year. I'm not complaining - I didn't have to cook on my birthday and that is ALL that mattered.

My favorite card arrived from Japan. I don't know where she found this card, but it is the perfect birthday card for me. I would have purchased it for myself. The card has made it to the hallowed "refrigerator gallery" in the kitchen and has given me many a chuckle since its arrival.

I've decided to share. Thanks, Bethany - you are a gem!

and the inside...

The Cart O' Crap & "The Stranger"

2011-03-09T06:05:00.000-08:00

Heathen #1 was old enough this year to join the high school's indoor percussion ensemble. This year's performance piece is entitled "The Stranger" and was written by the director, Jon Donath. It is a great piece of music and the kids do a fantastic job.

My child plays in the pit, on an instrument that I have lovingly dubbed the "Cart O'Crap." It is this really bizarre looking thing on wheels that holds all of the odd, accent-making type instruments.

Heathen #1 and his
"Cart O' Crap"

Heathen #1 and his "Cart"
on the performance floor.

The entire piece is several minutes long, but you can hear a small portion here (and see Heathen #1 in action!) Enjoy!

Breaking Boards

2011-03-09T05:50:00.000-08:00

Heathens #1 and #2 have completed belt testing again for Tang Soo Do. Both Heathens past with flying colors (and kicks!) and were awarded their orange belts!

Heathen #1 preparing to break a board.

Heathen #1 starting a side kick.

Heathen #1 receiving his orange belt.

Heathen #2 doing a "mid level knife defense."

Heathen #2 preparing to break a board.

Heathen #2 receiving his orange belt.

Re-Pete Goes Home

2011-03-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

We found the stray's home!!!! I didn't have to take him up to the pound (thank heavens!). His owner remarked on how much our dogs looked alike. This was the best picture I got of the two of them together.

Pete and Re-Pete

2011-03-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

Life is never boring at my Zoo.

Today, I pulled up to the house around 3:45. As I was parking the car, a dog crossed the street in front of me. And it was my Bantley. He had slipped his collar or wiggled out of it. Either way, he wasn't wearing it.

I got out of the car and called him, and he just looked at me. He came a little closer, but then he bolted. And that isn't like Bantley at all. Heathen #2 went into the house to find his collar for me. He immediately came back outside and told me, "Mom, that isn't Bantley. Bantley's inside!"

Bantley is on the right.

This is the stray.

Can you believe how much they look alike? We coaxed the stray inside finally around 5 pm. None of us recognized him from the neighborhood. So we now have a house guest until tomorrow afternoon when I can run him up to the SPCA.

Right now, the three of them are having a ball playing together. Poor Duchess won't be able to move tomorrow. She's getting a little old for this. But at least Bantley has someone to keep up with him!

Costume Hunting in March

2011-03-03T14:58:00.000-08:00

On Friday of last week, Heathens #2 and #3 came home and announced that they had to dress as their favorite storybook character on Wednesday of next week for school. Ummm..... okay.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to throw together two storybook character costumes for BOYS with almost no warning? It was definitely not a fun experience.

First, there were the discussions of (these are all my lines):
Who do you want to be?
That's not a storybook character. That's from a cartoon.
No, that's not a storybook character. That's from a movie.
No, that's a TV show.
(Repeat this conversation in your head for 3 DAYS with 2 Heathens who are NOT getting the picture.)

My mother-in-law did have a Peter Pan costume that would possibly fit Heathen #3. But I didn't have anything for Heathen #2. Finally, I went to the local costume store and spent an obnoxious amount of money on a costume for #2 and a fall-back costume for #3 in case Peter Pan didn't fit.

Here are the Heathens dressed for "Read Across America" Day:

Heathen #3 as Peter Pan

Heathen #2 as the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz

Heathens #2 and #3 at the bus stop on "Read Across America" Day

Pink Vest Guy

2011-03-03T14:48:00.000-08:00

I've always known that I'm married to a very social guy. I've always known he has a good heart. But I love it when drunk women take a shine to him and he's too nice to escape them!

Saturday night was the Pink Ribbon Ball. I had found "the" dress the Thursday before, we rounded up another couple to go with us, I had found a sitter at the last minute, we were going to have a great time!

The Asst. Zookeeper met this lady in line for the bar and she just adored him. She kept calling him "Pink Vest Guy" (for obvious reasons). She was very polite about asking me if she could dance with him since "it is SO hard to find a man that dances. You are SO lucky. Are you SURE you don't mind?"

The Pink Vest Guy and his admirer

The theme was centered around birthdays and they gave everyone a hat. This is the only picture of the Asst. Zookeeper and his hat that I would publish. I have another one the simply SCREAMS "Madonna!"

Heather and I had a great time watching the boys dance and cut loose!

Dress Shopping

2011-03-03T14:31:00.000-08:00

Last week, on Thursday, my mother and sister and I went dress shopping to choose a bride's maids dress for my sister's wedding in October. We found one! You can't tell very well from this picture, but it is a very nice dress!

Ali and I (in the bride's maids dress)

Because I behaved SO WELL while we were trying on dresses, Ali told me I could pick out an ugly dress to try on (which I love to do!). While looking for a really ugle dress to wear, I found this dress below:

"The" Dress

As soon as I put it on, I decided that I was buying and that the Asst. Zookeeper was taking me to the Pink Ribbon Ball that weekend. It was Thursday, and the Ball was Saturday night. We weren't going to go this year, but "the dress" said we were!

Gram Flys AGAIN!

2011-03-03T06:08:00.000-08:00

On February, I put my grandmother in the car and headed for the airport. I had talked her into joining me on a weekend trip to Texas to see the newest Zoo addition! This was quite a feat considering that she had sworn she wouldn't EVER fly again. All I had to do was dangle a chance to see the baby in front of her, and she caved!

We spend a great weekend visiting my brother, his wife, and their new addition. When we arrived, Ozark was wearing his "My Auntie is AWESOME!" onsie that I had mailed him. (I have the same onsie in the next 5 sizes also, that way he can continue to proclaim how awesome I am.)

While Ozark was absolutely adorable, I think my grandmother may have been cuter. I had a great time watching her hold him and talk to him.

I know Gram was exhausted when I got her home late Sunday night, but I think she had a wonderful time. And so did I.

Gram and baby Ozark (her great-grandson)

His Auntie is AWESOME!

This is my favorite of all the photos I took that weekend.

Me and the Ozark!

Mom Broke My Nose!

2011-03-03T05:57:00.000-08:00

This past August, I purchased a pair of black cowboy boots for Heathen #3 at the thrift store for part of a pirate costume. He fell in love with them and wore them practically every day since, regardless of the weather. They were starting to look pretty rough and he had slipped on the ice while wearing them several times. But they were his favorite shoes. The only day he would wear some other footwear was for church, or on school days when he had gym class.

At the beginning of February, as we were getting ready for school, he dragged out this beat up old boots (again). I told him that he should probably wear snow boots because it was icy outside. I was informed that he WAS wearing boots and they were his FAVORITE boots and it was NOT a gym day. He was polite, but he was firm. He wanted to wear the boots.

Fine - I didn't feel like arguing with a 5-yr-old at 8 in the morning.

It was then time to head out to the bus stop. Heathen #3 couldn't find his coat. We tracked it down in the laundry room. Then he couldn't find his hat. We tracked it down in his bedroom. Then he couldn't find his gloves. At which point, I'd had ENOUGH! I told him to put his hands in his pockets because we were going to miss the bus. And we headed out the door with him mad at me (cause I was mean!).

We were only at the bus stop about 30 seconds, when Heathen #3 slipped on the ice in his favorite boots. Normally, not a problem. However, his hands were in his pockets. So he couldn't catch himself as he fell.

So he caught himself with his face on the asphalt.

I picked him up off the ground and turned him around so that I could see him. He was covered in snow from head to toe and he was crying. I brushed the snow off of him in time to see the bridge of his nose start of puff up.

And at this point, the bus pulled up.

I put Heathen #2 onto the bus, and then put Heathen #3 into the car for a trip to the ER. I was not sending him to school so that the school nurse could call me to tell me to come get him.

When we walked into the ER, the triage nurse asked Heathen #3 what happened. He told the lady that he fell, because, "My MOTHER made me put my hands in my pockets. She wouldn't let me wear my gloves."

Definitely one of my proudest moments as a mother.

New Zoo Member

2011-03-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

On February 8, the Zoo welcomed a new member. Bantley joined us from the local Humane Society. He's a great addition! Bantley is an 18-mo.-old Lab mix. He joins Duchess, who is a 6-yr-old Huskey Shepherd mix. They are getting along great, but they do squabble over who gets the first belly-rub when the Asst. Zookeeper gets home from work.

Duchess and Bantley

Belly Rub Time!

Groundhog Day 2011

2011-03-02T12:09:00.000-08:00

For several years now, I've sworn I was going to take the Heathens to see the Groundhog. And every year, it just doesn't happen. This year it finally did!

The night of February 1, 2011, I packed the Heathens into the car around 8 pm and we headed for DuBois (it was the closest hotel I could find!). At the hotel, we were greeted with crayons and groundhog-themed coloring books for the Heathens. We arrived there around 10 pm and I let the boys buy a movie to watch on TV since we were having one of our "grand adventures." After the movie ended and lots of sleeping arrangement changes, we finally crashed around 2 am.

At 4 am the alarm rang! Normally, waking the Heathens is similar to trying to raise the dead. For once, they were up and ready quickly! The first huge hit of the day was the continental breakfast that was included with our room. We made waffles and had fruit salad. Then it was back into the car for the half-hour drive to Punxsy.

We were able to find parking at one of the shuttle stops and boarded our shuttle for Gobbler's Knob. It was still dark. As we pulled up to Gobbler's Know, the fireworks started!

Early arrival at Gobbler's Knob: approximately 6 am.

Because of the predicted snowstorm, there were only a few thousand people there to see the groundhog. The Heathens and I were able to get very close to the front and had a great view.

And for once, Phil predicted an early spring! (The link takes a minute to load, but it's great! And we were there cheering and chanting with the rest of the crazies!)

After the predictions, we stayed to have our picture taken with Phil. The boys had a great time playing in the snow waiting for our turn at pictures.

Bill Deeley is the President of the Inner Circle

Punxsutawney Phil!

After we had met Phil and had our photo shoot, we headed back into town for food! We ate breakfast at Punxsy Phil's Cakes and Steaks. At the restaurant, we finally found some good groundhog hats and we were able to buy some! After breakfast, the boys wanted to walk around Punxsy and see all of the groundhog statues - so we did!

Our favorite statue was the coal miner!

Our groundhog hats!

The Heathens made me promise to take their photo in front of this building.

We visited Phil at his home in the library.

The Heathens had a fantastic time! As we were driving home later that afternoon, the Heathens were already discussing about wanting to go again next year and what they wanted to see while they were there. Overall, it was a very successful day!

The "Junk" Professor

2011-03-02T11:38:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things with small Heathens is their inability to pronounce certain words. Heathen #3 definitely takes the prize for this one. He listens so carefully when people pronounce things and he pays attention to pronunciation. Usually he does a fantastic job. He was one of the only toddlers I know (along with his brothers) who could pronounce onomatopoeia correctly!

I took a new job (actually two) in January. I joined the faculty at UPJ and at Penn Highlands as an adjunct instructor. So far, I'm loving it.

The best part is listening to Heathen #3 tell people that his mother is a "junk" professor. Despite many attempts and lots of practice on his part, it just does NOT come out as "adjunct." At least I know I have a unique position!

Christmas's Greatest Gift: 2010

2011-03-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

Ozark Rhys Ulerich

My brother, Rhys, and his wife, Michelle, received the world's greatest Christmas gift this year. Their first child, a son, was born shortly after lunch time on Christmas Day. I've never felt so far away from Texas as I did when I heard he was born. Congratulations to them and Ozark, welcome to the Zoo! You're automatically an honorary Heathen.

Christmas Pageant 2010

2011-03-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows the traditional Christmas story. Everyone has seen a children's Christmas pageant at least once, if not MULTIPLE times.
Since I'm lucky enough to choose the pageant we do at our church, I decided to do something a little different. I found a play called Sleepover at the Stable and it was a pageant of talking animals!

Below are all my Sunday School kiddos in their costumes before the show started. They did a fantastic job!

The Reininger Girls

The Livingston

The Spontaks

Mr. Thomas

Ms. Miller

Mr. Miller & Mr. Toth

Heathens #2 and #3

The Updykes

The Rices

Mr. Gibbons

The Jabers

The Whole Ensemble!

Christmas at the Zoo: 2010

2011-03-02T06:34:00.000-08:00

The Heathens had a fabulous Christmas. Not only did they get everything they wanted, but they spent the time with as much family as we could pack into two houses.

Christmas Eve at Grammy B's House

Trinity Lutheran steeple on Christmas Eve

Heathens #2 and #3 on the way home from Christmas Eve service

Heathen #1 on the way home from Christmas Eve service

Santa was here!

Hurray for bean bags!

The Asst. Zookeeper at 7 am on Christmas morning. :)

Nina lived under the tree for the month it was up!

The Heathens waiting for the green light...

Heathen #1's X-Box... finally!

Heathen #2 and his cupcake machine.

Heathen #3 and one of his craft kits.

Grandma and Pappy Miller got Heathen #3 his own kayak for Kinzua!

Grandma and Pappy Miller got Heathen #1 a new bike!

Heathen #2 received a new kayak for Kinzua from Grandma and Pappy Miller, too!

Christmas: the Season of Stitches

2011-03-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

On December 22, Heathen #3 asked if he could have an apple for a snack. Absolutely! I'm a big fan of fruit for snacks. Not only is it healthy, but the Heathens can all get their own fruit out of the refrigerator. He asked if I would cut it up, but I told him to just eat it whole.

At this point in the story, I was upstairs putting away laundry. 10 minutes later, Heathen #3 comes back upstairs and asked for a band-aid. When I asked why he needed one, I was presented with a thumb that OBVIOUSLY needed a few stitches! There had been no shriek, no scream, no crying, NO WARNING that I was going to be presented with this thumb.

As I wrapped his hand in a clean wash cloth and went into "Mom Mode" in preparation for heading to the ER, I asked how he had cut his thumb. Heathen #3 decided that he was going to cut his own apple!

Everyone reading, relax. He didn't touch a knife. He used one of those apple slicers that cores the apple and cuts it into section. The one I have is older that Heathen #2. One of the apple pieces got stuck in the slicer and he used his thumb to push it through. THUS the sliced thumb.

Heathen #3 has never had stitches before. The ER people were fantastic with him. Heathen #3 received 3 stitches in the tip of his thumb and he took them like a pro! He even managed to weasel a popsicle and orange juice out of the nurse. By the time they had him ready to leave, he looked like a burn victim!

On December 26, Heathen #2 REFUSED to wait for me to open a package. It was one of those horrible plastic packages that are miserable to open. He suggested using a knife and I specifically told him ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! Ten minutes later, he came and asked me for a band-aid!

On my second trip to the ER in less than a week, guess who I ran into: the same triage nurse, the same roon nurse, and the same doctor to do the stitches!!! Could I have been any more lucky? When we left the ER, Heathen #2 was also the proud owner of 3 stitches.

At the Zoo, we don't return to the doctor for them to remove the stitches. We have our own EMT (thank heavens). It is considered a rite of passage to have the Asst. Zookeeper remove the stitches at home. Before school started for the new year, Heathen #3 had joined the ranks and Heathen #2 had renewed his membership.

Heathen #3's Stitches Before Removal

Heathen #3's Stitches During Removal

Heathen #3 After Stitch Removal

Heathen #2's Stitches During Removal

Heathen #2 Taking Out His Own Stitches

Heathen #2 After Stitch Removal

Cookies with the Cousins

2011-03-02T05:32:00.000-08:00

The hardest part of Christmas, in my humble opinion, has always been to find shopping or free time that is Heathen-free. The Heathens are ALWAYS around! In hopes of giving other the needed free time, I initiated "Cookies with Cousins" this December. The Heathens were joined by 5 additional small children for the afternoon, freeing up their mothers for some shopping time.

I decided that we were going to decorate sugar cookies. And like every true woman... I ORDERED them from the local Eat N'Park (without icing). I knew if I tried to make them myself, it would only be a huge disaster. I even cheated and purchased the colored icing instead of making it. I also had enough sprinkles of various types to keep all the little munchkins and Heathens happy!

After they each decorated their cookies, they headed to the basement to watch old Christmas movies. They had a great time that afternoon and were all on a complete sugar high when their mothers came to pick them up! Aunt Dani strikes again!

Baby What

Gertrude

Illy Grace

Heathen #3

Heathen #1

Heathen #2

Skinny Minnie

Breaking the Silence

2011-03-02T05:19:00.000-08:00

I've had many mentions that the Zookeeper has been strangely quiet for the past few months. Several have voiced concerns that nothing was happening at the Zoo.

Have no fears, the chaos continues. I have a free morning and will attempt to fill in some of the holes since before Thanksgiving!

Every Student's Dream Come True

2010-11-18T15:00:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I was incredibly ill on Friday night. By 3 am on Saturday morning, I woke up the Asst. Zookeeper for him to drive me down to the hospital. Due to being so sick, I didn't even bother with putting on my glasses. I simply didn't care.

Upon arrival at the hospital, I went through the typical triage area and then was taken back to be seen. Amazingly, this all went very rapidly and everyone was very nice! I saw the doctor and he decides what he is going to do. Part of his plan was an IV for fluids because I was so terribly dehydrated. Doctor say that the nurse will be right in to get it started.

In walks the nurse. I opened my eyes enough to verify if the shape was male or female. Male. Definitely my age or younger. He was very polite as he moved around the room. Then he asked if I still taught at McCort.

Huh? I haven't been at McCort since spring of 2004. And I'm not wearing my glasses, so I can't even see who this guy is. He casually says that I was his math teacher.

And now it's time for my IV! Kudos to Travis (who's name I remembered shortly thereafter) for not spending an hour or more digging for my nonexistent veins. He actually was very good at his job.

When he finished taping down the tubing and had everything situated, I told him he was now the envy of every high school student in the world. What student wouldn't LOVE to stab their math teacher with a needle!?!?

What teacher doesn't dread the day that a past student is part of the "real world." We remember you as a teenager or younger. It's always a frightening thought! And my old student was my nurse!

PS - Travis, you were a great nurse. The IV was well done. Congratulations on turning into who you are! Welcome out into the real world. :)

Say "Cheese!"

2010-11-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

This past week, Heathen #3 came home from kindergarten with an interesting assignment. He received a paper turkey, and he was to make a disguise for it. It was a parent/child project (a.k.a. - you're allowed to help). The assignment even gave a few hints for possible disguises. I assumed the littlest Heathen would pick one of the suggestions. I was SO wrong.

He wanted to put his turkey in a bikini because it was going to a "bikinishoot" - which translates into "bikini shoot," like a model. It took a little bit to figure out what the correct translation was because he was getting VERY impatient with the Momma.

I'm figuring he won't have thought this through very clearly, and it shouldn't take much time. I'll give the Heathen some crayons, he'll draw a swimming suit, and we're good! NOPE!

After much work translating, I discovered that this turkey wasn't just to wear a regular bikini, it was to be a STRING bikini (Heathen translation: a bikini with those "things" and lots of hand motions). And he wanted it to be sparkly.

Bless Grandma and her glitter glue! She saved me (again). After more than an hour of coloring, cutting, pasting, gluing, leaning in the glitter with our elbows, and REDOING everything on the above list, here is what the Heathen created for his disguise:

Don't miss the nail polish and the lipstick. And the sandals have "those things on them" that he wanted as well! I think I should have gone into fashion!